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    pinkcelly123's Avatar
    pinkcelly123 Posts: 51, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Aug 16, 2008, 12:58 AM
    MY boyfriend says he cares? Does he really?
    My boyfriend and I have been going out for 3 months and some weeks this may not seem long but I don't keep relationships that long they usually last a week or so and then I dump the guy for some reason or another the longest relationship I been in was a year and a half and it only ended due to the guy moving horrible far but yea that was over and forgotten

    Then I had a phase of me breaking a guys heart every other week it became a pattern my friends family and I where use to it and still are until I met this guy my current boyfriend... I don't know how I feel about him really when I'm with him I'm nervous which usually never happens but then that got old fast... when I'm away from him I think of him of course but its like on the phone or even IM he annoys me we fight a lot when where not in person but never when we are face to face but he doesn't even call me like that he says he waits for me to call him he is not like any guy I have ever met really (I found that kind of high school-ish he's 21) and I have met tons of guys he respects me I guess but sometimes I feel like he is with me just to be with someone because of the way he acts but he is a real attractive guy so it kind of doesn't make sense unless he has lose self esteem

    I started to convince myself that he was with me just to be with someone so I start en about every little thing so he can just go away because for some reason I can't dump him anymore the first 2 months I dumped him 4 times and we got back and I don't know how it happens usually I dump and its over .

    He tells me he loves me but does he really care ? How can he love me if its 3 months he waits for me to call him all the time which I'm not use to ! But try and if I don't he calls me wondering what I'm doing and how can he say he loves me and I get little attention from him unless I'm upset and on the verge of dumping him ? And I don't say I love you back to him because I don't know yet if love him and because he says it at really dumb moments like when I'm cussing him out and I'm bold I guess because I tell him all of this and he always apologizes and says he cares but he just doesn't show it ? What! I


    Don't get that am I just use to attention? I mean I would think I would feel more wanted by someone who says they love me and when I go over his house he is all over me I'm not having sex with him I mean I don't have sex with guys period because I go through them to fast there is no point and plus my christian beliefs.. I started to think that he might just be attracted to me because of my looks.. I guess I just don't believe he cares for me as he says.. and if your wondering yes he is sort of shy but we say whatever we want to each other I don't think he sees how I feel neglected a lot its like he thinks being with me is enough and its not he says he changed for me.. (and I him)i believe him a little because before he had that "I don't care I can be alone" attitude and that's when I use to dump him but did he do it because he cares? Or because he wants to be with someone... he knows I'm a good person because I never cheat I'm 100% honest with him and I'm trustworthy he says he really wants us to work but is it for the wrong reasons?:( :confused:
    I only get attention like when where being serious when I'm mad or when he is jealous or me as he says "spending more time with my friends then him" or if I go out to a party he is always thinking some guys talking to me or the other way around and that's not the attention I want he sometimes reminds me of a little kid



    Sorry I know long
    nickeknew's Avatar
    nickeknew Posts: 167, Reputation: 9
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    #2

    Aug 16, 2008, 01:02 AM
    Love works in mysterious ways I feel he does
    Happiness07's Avatar
    Happiness07 Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #3

    Aug 17, 2008, 08:27 AM
    You know a guy loves you when he respects you. When he is willing to consider his feelings over yours and puts you before himself. For example a guy that loves you won't be able to live without calling you at least once a day +
    kittyluv's Avatar
    kittyluv Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Aug 17, 2008, 09:03 AM
    The truth is, if you have to ask the question, the answer is almost 100% NO. Love and True Love is something one never has to question. Don't settle baby continue to date just don't sleep with them until you truly know he's the right guy. And trust me you will know when he is truly to one.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    Aug 17, 2008, 10:15 AM
    Maybe you try to over analyze things and you let your imaginations and worries take over.
    You need to see the relationship for what it is and where it is and go from there. Not worry about a bunch of what if's. Maybe you are expecting too much, maybe the types of guys you are going for just aren't compatible. Stop and really try and get a better idea of what you want in a guy and how they seem to measure up before you go for them. Just jumping into a relationship fails probably 90% of the time or more.
    Maybe you should look for the qualities you liked in your boyfriend you were with for 1 1/2 yrs.

    If the guy you are with now says he cares don't question it some guys just have a hard time expressing themselves.
    But by all means keep up your Christian values.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Aug 17, 2008, 02:47 PM
    You sound very insecure to put a guy through all those changes, and dumping him so much. Why can't you just enjoy him the way he is?? Maybe you two aren't that compatible, but he keeps coming back, and you keep taking him back.

    Its weird you get along in person, and not over the phone though.

    but its like on the phone or even IM he annoys me we fight a lot when where not in person but never when we are face to face but he doesn't even call me like that he says he waits for me to call him
    pinkcelly123's Avatar
    pinkcelly123 Posts: 51, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Aug 17, 2008, 05:25 PM
    I don't know its just I never been with someone like him before he is complicated he has good qualities but he also has bad ones that I don't know how to react with.. I'm not insecure about myself but I'm insecure about our relationship but in fact I think sometimes I'm 2 secure because I know I can always get someone else so I just dump people when something bothers me which can be bad... sometimes I don't want to be with him and when I dump him or try to he does something to make me change my mind its hectic.. I try to enjoy him the way he is but I have needs I feel he doesn't see and there not even outrageous or abnormal I think he just hasn't had that much experience with girls in a serious relationship so he doesn't know what to say or how to act or our views or so different that to each of us they seem foreign for example he is 21 and he told me he didn't like french kissing so we would always peck then one day we went for it and I could tell he wasn't that good at it I started to think he never did it before but I made it seem like it wasn't a big deal which I didn't think it was I just figured his dating experience was limited can people with such opposite views have a good relationship

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