Ok, dated her for almost 3 yrs and she gave me the whole she needs space thing. Which I might add seems pretty common on here. Anyway, there was no closure at all. I know that sounds stupid b/c obviously the space thing I mentioned is just an excuse. Just hear me out on this one. Oh yeah, its day 8 of NC. Its killing me!!! I was just wondering if there was any reason to call her and just straight out ask if its over over. Know what I mean? Its really not an excuse to call her believe me. Im having a hard time thinking I can go on, hanging on to a hope she might see she messed up. Would it be easier if I just heard she was dating another guy or something hell I dont know. I dont want it to be over, I dont want to hear her say its over but I think I need to. What do you think?

ISneezeFunny

if she hasn't called you in 8 days, then yes. it's over over. it's true...she might see that she messed up...regardless, whatever you do won't help her see that. she has to see it on her own time, on her own agenda. currently, i'm stuck in the same situation. 3 years, no closure. out of the blue. there are rumors she's with someone else...but not confirmed. no clue what's going on.

simply move on. i say simply...but that's a HUGE understatement. i'm on 4 weeks of NC. i've just learned to accept it.

trying to move on is difficult, especially with no closure, but her not contacting you for 8 days may be closure enough to you.

she might contact you later on, but don't expect it. find some buddies you haven't hung out with in a while, go join a gym, find a new hobby, learn something new. take your mind off her. best of luck.

MLB33

Hey sneeze, I have been at a gym for a long time and I do ok ocupying my own time. She lives in the same humpin apt complex as me. And she met this new coworker but they "were just friends." Whatever, to save some space, my gut tells me shes prob hangin out with him a lot. Who freakin knows, maybe just to ease the pain of us not being together. I think she prob hurts too. Not as much as me but I think she does some. I know its what I would do if I were in her situation. I dont know if you read my other post but I broke up with her about a year and a half ago for the whole space thing. And sure enough, thats really what I needed. Ofcourse I thought about her but one day I just couldnt stop thinking about her and the next and the next so I finally called her. It wasnt easy getting back together but I realized she was it for me and now this crap happens. I almost puke, when I think about what she could be doing with him (like a rebound think or something I dnot know) or anybody else for that matter. I know its prob over over but in a few months if I havent heard from her I think I'm gonna call and just be like what the hell. Or maybe I wont even care then I dont know. Funny how your heart literally hurts huh

ISneezeFunny

yep. when it happened to me i thought...THAT'S WHERE THE WORD HEARTBREAK COMES FROM.

i'm in the same exact boat as you. new guy...they're "just friends" i try not to think about it too much. it still bothers me of course, but i'm learning to deal with it.

doing the same thing you are. i'm at the gym. i'm chilling with friends. i'm reading a book. i'm writing a book. all that good stuff.

i haven't thought about what i might do in a few months. right now, i'm just trying to get through this week. one week at a time.

i start school this week, which means i will probably run into her this week. should be interesting. as i said, i'm on week 4...and it's true. it does get better. i still think about her daily (nostalgic), but the "pain" is less and less...and the thoughts are less intense and shorter and less frequent. hang in there.

Romefalls19

MLB I am going through the same as you...On day 9 of N/C right now, and I still have the urge to text or call her...I also imagine the things she could be doing but I'm reminded of a quote my friends band put into a song. "What you do on your own time is just fine, my imaginations much worse." We as the dumpee will always assume the worst because our head thinks that's what we need to hear in order to move on(or so I've read) when in truth she may not be doing a thing.

HurtingALot

Well...I can tell you that in my last "break/breakup" with my current ex....the story in my head was MUCH better than what was actually going on. I literally made myself sick thinking he was dating others...etc....etc....

Well...at least in my case....He wasn't. I won't say that he was MISERABLE....but he was missing me enough to come back to me and try again after a period.

I don't know if that's always the case....but I think the story in your mind is always better than what's really going on. It's not worth making yourself nuts over....(believe me...I know.)

So I'm suffering again....but I don't play those pictures in my head nearly as much.....What's the point? It's probably not even real....and I don't have control over anything other than myself anyway.

Stay strong....what's meant to be will be....no matter what. (This is helping me too....)

Romefalls19

Exactly...I do other things to make my mind think about better things. She could be off with some guy, she could be off crying over me. I don't feel like playing that game in my head. I feel better not knowing anything, if she comes back fine..If she doesn't I got plenty of love to give to the next person :-)

MLB33

But are you not curious? I mean, I know this sounds really stupid and God knows I'm gonna catch hell over saying this but.....I dont want her to call back and me be like "oh yeah, we can try again but I did this and this and this over the month we we broken up." I know she did it but I hope you know what I mean. Its like I need to hear her say we are through for good.

Romefalls19

It will only set you back to day 1...And I don't want to go back to that. As far as I'm concerned, she ended it and it was her choice...It's over unless she makes the attempt..I'm not going through rejection again

EuRa

MLB, you need to start searching for another girl PRONTO! Use Myspace, use craigslist, use yahoo personals, go out to a bar, laundramat, etc. Time for a date! She's making you wonder, is she? Time to make her wonder. She knows you're sitting around feeling miserable and waiting for her. THAT HELPS HER! Do you really want to help her get over you easily?

I wouldn't. Get out there soldier!