Boyfriend not being affectionate take a break or end it?

ITstudent2006 · May 1, 2011, 07:34 PM

With college coming up and everything you have laid on the table it seems like your best course of action is to let this guy go. Take time for yourself to focus on a new school, making friends, getting your feet wet in the college world.

By the sounds of it you have communicated the issues time and time again and things have not changed. There should only be so much a person has to go through before action is taken.

The biggest thing to remember is that people change. The things that seemed so surreal and passionate 2 years ago might now seem monotonous and boring. The things you once wanted seem silly and out of place. That's the facts of growing up. People date, people breakup, it's up to you to realize this and make decisions when it's time to pacl up and head out or when it's time to stay and work on it. Unfortunately, this sounds like it's time to pack your bags .

If he wants space, give it to him. NC

confussed_man · May 2, 2011, 03:48 AM

Talk to him about it, and just try and exsplain what's bothering you if that doesn't work, I'd say take a break just say you need some space and spend some time apart.If your with someone for a long time you can forget how good they are. Even the smallest thing can cause you to get annoyed with them over time. If you spend a week or two apart and you love each other he will start treating you like a queen again.
Hope this helps

mystific · May 2, 2011, 08:07 AM

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Sometimes I feel like I'm too good for him

Really? Then why are you with him? He obviously doesn't live up to your expectations anymore .. Why lower yourself?

All I read is "I, I & I". What you want. What you need. Where he's letting you down. He's told you he's going through his problems but won't talk about them ... But then in the same token you don't talk to him with your problems.

Not much of a relationship if neither of you feel the need to discuss the issues you're having to enable the other to be there and support either through what it is you need.

You've tolerated, you've done this, you've done that .. But to be perfectly honest it's all been to what you've wanted or needed. Relationships are a two way street and from what I read, all you do is take to satisfy your own needs.

Quote:

last but not least I been feeling really sketchy and confused about the future with this kid

If my boyfriend called me 'kid' I'd resent the way they perceived me too.

Maybe you need to look at what you really want in life .. I mean, god forbid your birthday is coming up after all, all so important than saving a 4 year relationship.

talaniman · May 2, 2011, 10:58 AM

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I leave for college in august about 3 hrs away so I don't know how that's going to work out.

Last but not least I been feeling really sketchy and confused about the future with this kid

You both are caught up in the transition of making decisions, and choices for yourselves because things are definitely going to change.

You will be apart, from family, friends, and each other, and everything that you have called a life, and were comfortable with. Few relationships survive because reality is changing you both, because you are going through growing pains.

Of course your future is unclear, so is his, and of course you are frustrated, and so is he. Talk about it HONESTLY, and find out what you both are going to do about it. You may love the guy, but its obvious by your post you are looking for a way out. Maybe he does too!

If so, be straight and honest with the guy who has been with you for 4 years. Break ups suck, but dishonesty sucks more. Everyone gets scared when they are forced out of their comfort zone, and into the unknown.

mmresd · May 3, 2011, 01:38 PM

I think you should end it. It doesn't sound like you are happy in this relationship... So why waste even more time than what you already have into this? Go single for a while until you start enjoying yourself again, and then go meet someone else who meets your standards and fullfills your needs.

Good luck,
Javi

Homegirl 50 · May 3, 2011, 05:41 PM

End the relationship officially. It sounds as if it has already ended. Neither of you are happy.

Boyfriend not being affectionate take a break or end it?

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