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Boyfriend meeting up with his platonic female friend, help!
Asked Apr 25, 2012, 08:53 PM
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11 Answers My boyfriend and I recently hit it off and are crazy about each other. There's one thorn in my side though, his slutty platonic female friend of the last 6 years. The most recent occurance was he texted and met up with her late at night. Granted he asked me to come beforehand with him, but it still makes me very uncomfortable. They have been strictly platonic for 5-6 years. He told me he thinks she's gross and aneorexic. Yet she's model thin with boobs, blonde and very pretty. I saw how they text to one another too, and it's very jokingly and almost like he's texting a guy friend. I'm jealous and don't want a single woman texting my man! I'm no dog by any means, but when he tells me that she is always drinking and is on the slutty side it doesn't make me comfortable knowing that this single woman is around my man! I told him that I didn't care but also told him that he can't get mad when I do the same thing and go out with my single guy friends. He ended up getting mad at that thought and doesn't want me doing it! Call me old fashioned but when I date someone, that's it! My male friends kind of fade away and I expect the same. Am I overreacting? Any advice on how to make this thorn in my side go AWAY? |
11 Answers
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| So essentially you're saying that you don't TRUST him. That's really what this boils down to. He claims it's platonic yet you seem to have an issue with the whole thing anyway. So you know...it is possible that a guy can have a female friend without having anything between them. My best friend is a woman, a pretty hot one too....yet I have never, and would never do anything with her as we are just friends. If he has given you no real reason to not trust him then get over it or let this problem of trust you have break you guys up. | ||||
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| it comes down to trust. it soundds like hes very honest and would tell you if something happened. its common to be jelous but whats a relationship without trust. if it bothers you tht much talk to him about it so you feel better. but dont force him to not be friends with ppl. good luck god bless | ||||
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| My wife and I know each others friend, males, and females, NO insecurities though as they are all family friends. maybe thats your problem, you don't know his friend well. How long have you been together? How old are you both? | ||||
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| You say he doesnt want you hanging out with your single guy friends, yet he can. Sorta unfair and somewhat hypocritical. Furthermore, you dont trust him even though you have your own reasons not to. I think this relationship might not work out and its time you two break up and go your separate ways. | ||||
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| Thanks for some of your answers. To answer yours, I am 29 and he's 28. We have been dating for a short period of time (couple of months) but I am really crazy about him and I know he feels the same way. I am also new to our town and am looking to meet new people (friends)where he is established and has his friends. So when he says he doesn't want me to meet with single guys, they would most likely be new people vs the guys I already know that have somewhat faded away now that I am in a relationship. What is the best way to resolve this situation? | ||||
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| I'd tell him flat you that you are looking for a male platonic friend so that you don't feel lonely, unwanted, and jealous. Ask if he has any ideas. Joke about it - to some extent, just to give him the sense that he needs to put himself in your shoes. Many, many relationships thrive on having 'other' friends of the opposite sex to fill the need for something that isn't filled by what you do have. Her being slutty might be 'fun but I wouldn't touch her with a 10' pole' and better for YOU. It's the Madonna-whore problem with a harmless solution. | ||||
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| You have to either, accept he has a friend, or move on to another guy. | ||||
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| I know that's a short amount of time, but things got pretty intense with us very quickly and you kind of just know that this is someone that I can be serious with long term. Which is why I'm on here asking what I should do. Him and I want the same things, we have a great relationship, are open and honest but then there's this one thing makes me uncomfortable. I haven't met the platonic female friend yet, and will have an open mind when I do. When I gave him the same situation with the tables turned he didn't like it either and agreed with me but still pushed that she's not going anywhere. Keep in mind I'm also new in town and he doesn't like that I'm meeting new people (mainly guys) to get acquainted with the new area. Why should it be ok with him to have his female friend but I can't platonically meet new people? It's a sticky situation and I WANT IT TO WORK with him, just looking for the best approach and also gage the advice of what happens when things progress on a serious level? Do these people fade away with time? Are they always in the back burner? Thanks again... | ||||
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