My boyfriend says he needs some time alone.
Asked Aug 5, 2011, 08:41 AM
We have been together for a year and a half. He has been through a bad divorce and is a bit jaded. We have had a little bumps in the road in our relationship and broke up once before briefly for a month but he came back saying he missed me and wanted to be together. We spent the summer together at his place and had a great summer. He mentioned marriage in the future and how he wanted to move forward with our relationship. He told me every day he loved me and was happy with me.
Recently this past week he has been under a great deal of stress with his job and we started to argue about a few things. He hates any kind of conflict and deals with conflict by avoiding it. I on the other hand want to talk about and work through things. He shuts down and withdraws. He has done this before. He said that he feels we might of spent too much time together, and I agree we did, we didn't have any time away from each other for 3 months.
He felt that he was beginning to get annoyed with small things I did and that he didn't know what that meant. He sounds confused and wants to deal with it by not spending time together.
He then mentioned that maybe we should break up but wasn't sure about it. He said he felt disconnected that past week since we had been arguing and felt that I wasn't communicating my feelings to him which turned him off.
My confusion comes from the fact that we love each other very much and I know he was faithful to me. We really enjoy each others company, and he insisted I stay with him this summer. I noticed he was getting irritated with me the past couple days and I shut down communicating with him myself. But how can he say all those things to me... about loving me... being happpy... meeting his match... wanting to eventually marry... then just shut down, and push me away like this?
I am angry and very hurt by his withdrawing. I feel resentful because of how good things were going between us and his response to this past week. He was just telling me this past Monday, how happy he was with me, and how much he loved me.
Also, he doesn't deal with stress or conflict well of any kind. He is a bit of a loner and enjoys alone time but wants me around him all the time which is a bit confusing. He has poor skills when dealing with any "drama" as he calls it. He is hypersensitive to any conflict, more so than the average person.
I love him and know he loves me... but his reaction is hurtful, especially because of how serious our relationship was. Last night he called me and had a very sweet voice telling me about a job offer he had and he wanted my advice. We ended the call nicely but he never asked what I was doing this weekend.
Today I broke down, and emailed him asking him if he wanted to join me for a concert tonight. He never replied.
Merged and edited/T