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keadc41 · May 11, 2009, 07:12 AM

My boyfriend lost his job three weeks ago.

Ever sinc he lost his job he has been pushing me away. I haven't seen him at all, he has cut back hanging out with me and is always hanging out with his friends. When we make plans he is always a few hours late for them. Never has time to talk during the day, and is short with me when we are saying goodbye. It makes me feel like I have done something wrong here. He takes no responsibility for his actions. He calls me selfish because I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. I am sick of waiting around for him to hang out with me, and when we do it feels like it's a chore for him. All I want to do is to support him and him rely on me, but he won't let me.

What should I do?

talaniman · May 11, 2009, 07:27 AM

Losing a job is a highly stressful situation to be in, and can lead to some very weird behavior. Back up a bit, and give him some space to make some adjustments to the situation. I doubt he is in the mood for anything fun right now, and you pushing, will only make it worse.

I get that you care, and are concerned, and want to help, but until that's what HE wants, it will only hurt.

Don't take it personally, its about how he handles things not you, its his issue.

Let him deal with it, his way.

keadc41 · May 11, 2009, 07:44 AM

That's the thing though, he is up for everything fun... except hanging with me. He is partying it up with his friends... and is keeping himselfsuper busy so busy that I am no longer a apart of his life.

Am I being selfish here.

keadc41 · May 11, 2009, 07:45 AM

We actually broke up this morning because he is pushing me away... He is now freaking out because he says I am being weak and not standing by my man. And two seconds later he wants to go away and take off together...

I am missing somethiing here..

Romefalls19 · May 11, 2009, 07:46 AM

Honestly, he may feel inferior to you because you are working. If he's out with his mates, then he doesn't feel the need to worry about a job. Losing a job is very stressful, and finding one these days isn't easy. It took my fiancé 7 months to find a job

Lonelyandbroken · May 11, 2009, 10:10 AM

Originally Posted by keadc41

We actually broke up this morning because he is pushing me away... He is now freaking out because he says I am being weak and not standing by my man. And two seconds later he wants to go away and take off together...

I am missing somethiing here..

Ok this happened to me a week before my girl dumped me. I had known it was prob going to happen for about a month. Let me tell you I was in a funk. I big funk. It is stressfull because at least I felt pretty low that I couldn't provide for myself and my girl. She would ask questions about our future and stuff and it just all added up and didn't make me feel very good at all. I wish she knew how I was feeling but its to late. Just stick by and try to talk to him but don't make him fell low or like he can't provide for you.

justine09 · Dec 30, 2009, 10:59 PM

Hey I am currently going pretty much the same thing right now. Although he seems to want me to believe he cares and will still do something nice for me here and there, most of the time I don't hear from him at all anymore. I asked him if he see's us having a future and he says he does but his actions seem to say otherwise. I was wondering what ended up happening with your situation? Do you think I should just give him space or should I just end it?

justine09 · Dec 31, 2009, 01:10 AM

Just out of curiosity keat, what did end up happening between you and the boyfriend after you broke it off? Are you guys still in contact?

makapuu · Dec 31, 2009, 01:23 AM

My boyfriend also lost his job. It has put a strain on our relationship, but I think we will survive. He's been depressed, and I don't know how to handle it, so I give him his space. Many people think we have broken up, but we aren't. He knows that we are still together even though we need time apart.

amicon · Dec 31, 2009, 02:49 AM

Hopefully the OP's troubles are over now-the thread hasn't been active since May.