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    theredheadgirl's Avatar
    theredheadgirl Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 6, 2009, 03:42 PM
    Boyfriend hasn't called in 6 days
    My boyfriend of 4 1/2 years hasn't called or answered his phone in 6 days. We had a argument a couple of weeks ago & had a long ( 4 hours) talk about everything we told each other how we feel about each other & how we want the relationship really work. We talked everyday after that things were getting back to normal after being rocky for a while.Then Friday he falls off the face of the earth I called left a message Saturday I start to worry no calls his phone going straight to vmail( his screen is broken so we can't text) Sunday I'm really worried not mad just worried left another message Monday comes nothing still now I'm on edge so I call a family member of his just to see if he is all right this person is @ work so he can't talk Tuesday comes around I'm beyond scared can't eat or sleep all the while phone going straight to vmail finally I call & it rings but its not like he can see its me his screen is broken he doesn't answer. Left a message. I don't want to keep calling back but when I did it started going to vmail again. Help he is a very forward person he never bites his tongue when we have had a spat before & broke up temporaily he said it so if that was the case this time I figure he would have told me.. help
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #2

    May 6, 2009, 03:51 PM

    Did you try the family member again? Do you know his job number?

    If anything is okay with him what he is doing is wrong because I am sure he got your voicemail.

    I am not sure but this might be some sort of payback to you from him but it is an immature game played by him.
    Triysle's Avatar
    Triysle Posts: 245, Reputation: 84
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    #3

    May 6, 2009, 03:59 PM
    Did he mention anything to you about wanting some time to figure things out? You seem to be getting really worked up, but calm down for a second and analyze what you DO know. You mentioned that "we said we wanted it to work" but are you absolutely sure that it was mutual?

    If he did just completely drop conversation without a warning, and you have no way of contacting him (through friends or anything else), it was kind of a jerk move. However, you need to make sure you aren't blocking out any signals he might have given you.

    If something bad did happen to him, someone would have contacted you. A family member, or a friend, would have let you know if he got hurt or something. Don't worry about that; it really sounds like he has tried to cut you out completely (which still sucks) but at least he's probably not hurt or anything.

    Right now you need to start moving forward with your life, try to be too much of a wreck (I understand that it's stressful). Get in touch with your friends and figure out something to occupy yourself. If you don't hear anything about him in another few days, it's probably because he's cut you out, and told his friends and family to ignore you as well.

    ~ Tee
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    May 6, 2009, 04:27 PM

    Obviously he doesn't want to be found. If he wanted to talk, he would have communicated with you by now. You've done your part, so the only thing you can do is wait for him.

    On a side note, I find him very immature. If he wanted space, he should just ask you for it, instead of outright ignore you. It just makes you worry and that's not fair.

    Just keep being patient. If you're really worried, why don't you call his house and talk to someone in his family?
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #5

    May 6, 2009, 05:46 PM

    I'd say try calling his work, if nothing then let it go and do your own thing. I know its hard, but maybe he doesn't want to be found
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #6

    May 6, 2009, 07:23 PM
    If you haven't heard from him, and it sounds as if this behavior is out of character, then give another family member a quick ring to set your mind at rest.

    There is no doubt a logical explanation, but you have been together nearly five years and you're entitled to know what's happening.

    I hope it goes well.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    May 7, 2009, 09:27 AM

    I think his message is very clear. He has disappeared from your life, and wants you to leave him alone.

    Hard as it will be, give him what he wants, and leave him alone.

    Whatever the problem is, he doesn't want to share it with you.
    theredheadgirl's Avatar
    theredheadgirl Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    May 10, 2009, 10:42 PM

    Thanks to all of those who had positive response to my post.. the update is I received a call from his father he was in jail for some unpaid tickets. His father took me with him so I could be there when he got out. He is home safe & sound. Once again thanks to all the positive people who helped with positive & supportive things to say.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #9

    May 10, 2009, 10:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by theredheadgirl View Post
    Thanks to all of those who had postive response to my post..the update is I received a call from his father he was in jail for some unpaid tickets. His father took me with him so I could be there when he got out. He is home safe & sound. Once again thanks to all the postive people who helped with postive & supportive things to say.
    Good to hear that it wasn't anything TOO serious!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    May 11, 2009, 06:53 AM

    I am glad to be wrong, and things did work out.

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