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I've been with my boyfriend for 18 or so months and we've lived together for a year. about 6 months ago, he told me that he thinks I am fat and unattractive. I love him so much but I just can't be with someone who doesn't find me sexy, especially when I know that I am. I pretty much attract every guy but him. I just don't know what to do. I only want to be with him but I just can't keep feeling inadequate and unwanted to and by him. Please help me.
i just had to add that i've lost near 15 lbs and am practically anorexic at this point and its still not good enough
This has nothing to do with the media or the like and everything to do with how inconsiderate your boyfriend is. Unless your boyfriend is Brad Pitt I doubt he has much room to be bashing you for your looks. He needs to grow up and act like a gentlemen, not a complete jerk. You stay with him and the emotional beatdown will continue. Give me a break! Don't make excuses for his piss poor behavior. If he can't accept you for who you are then screw him. You shouldn't have to mold yourself into his ideal girlfriend. If he thinks he is such a stud let him go out and get a "model" so you can find a man, and not a boy.
Don't let this disrespectful guy bring you down so much. He's just one man in the entire planet. You can't take everything he says so litterally and so absolute. There are so many other people in the world and everyone else is going to have a different opinion. His opinion does not represent the entire world.
That being said, you should not be with someone who doesn't like you for you. He clearly doesn't respect you and wishes that you were someone else. That already tells us that he's not actually in love with you. He's living in a fantasy world hoping that you were someone else.
I'd say, leave him. There are so many other people in the world. You should find someone who respects and appreciates you for who you are. And let him go off trying to fullfill his fantasy.
Heart: You need not validate your beauty with us. It is you we are worried about. Please also be careful about posting your name in a public arena. While we are here to help, you never know what may come of it and it is always advised to use caution when doing so.
I just hope that you can honestly look at yourself and admire what you see. What others think is not important. It is you that matters.
KC, that should read: even Brad Pitt doesn't have room to talk. (dang cat walking on keyboard.)
Heartbroken, what he did was build up the foundation under you so that his word means more. Then he started tearing it out so that all you have left is him.
He isn't the only person in the world. His attitude if nothing else is causing you to hurt yourself. That alone is enough to send him packing.
Love is unconditional. Simple as that. If he is setting these standards for you to follow your wasting your time. Someone out there will love you for you. He will be left alone with his fantasy. I am sure he isnt perfect and his own insecurites show in his comments to you.
I agree 100% that this is emotional abuse. It sounds like he is trying to'"keep you down".He is probably afraid of losing you.If, he lowers your self-confidence,you'll be alot less likely to leave him.(in his mind).I know how hard it is to leave an abusive man. Abuse almost always escalates and becomes worse and worse over time.Don't allow his shortcomings to ruin your confidence.Please,try to eat healthy foods.Life is way too short to be held down,by a person like this.He won't change for the better.I am sorry for your pain. good luck to you.
I deleted the facebook link, I am not sure poster realised the 1000's of people that read these posts and some of the nut cases that may read them. Deleted for her protection.
And he is a jerk, even if you were 300 lbs he should love you as you are.
Fr_Chuck; I deleted the facebook link, I am not sure poster realised the 1000's of people that read these posts and some of the nut cases that may read them. Deleted for her protection.
You are an absolutely sweet person for doing this.Heart,trust me,we all are here to help and protect you from hurting your ownself.By constantly finding excuses for his pathetic behaviour,you are indirectly,hurting your own self esteem and lovable self.Any form of abuse(mental or physical)cant be equated with love.Once you get out of this situation and look back on it,you will be surprised you actually glorified it and the loser of a guy so very much.You need to just get out of it to see the truth.
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