my ex and i are still kinda feeling eachother.we call and hangout together but i have a boyfriend who loves me and i love him back. my ex knows that a soon as i got out of a relationship with him i started a new one and he admits he was hurt. i dont know if im doing the right thing by still communicating with him when i know he still has feelings and i know my boyfriend would be upset if he found out my ex and i were communicating.what do you think about this?

talaniman

Not much. How would you feel if your b/f was still seeing his ex? Why lead a guy on that way? Make up your mind so the other guy can get a life. You sound confused, or you like playing games with peoples feelings. Maybe the best thing will be to leave them both alone, so you can get your own head together.

Tuscany

Oh dear dear dear. What are you doing? Your ex has feelings for you, and you are in a new relationship with a man that you love...how fair is that to your ex? You should try the no contact rule that is often discussed on this website. Not so much for your own healing (although I think you could use some time to think about where you are headed and who you want to be), but for your ex. Having continuous contact with him only makes him hurt more. In order for him to get over your relationship he needs time to heal.

Besides that, what about the new guy...is this fair to him? Shouldn't you be concentrating on your relationship with him instead of communicating with your ex? Your new guy would have every right to be upset to hear that you are doing this behind his back. It is not fair.

ordinaryguy

I'm afraid you have many miles to go and some hard lessons to learn before you'll be capable of a truly loving committed relationship. Jumping immediately into a new relationship while stringing along your ex is sadly typical of immaturity and selfishness in "love". May your learning curve be steep and short.

shenda

iF YOUR current love is not aware of your continued contact with your ex...you must ask yourself...why do you feel the need to hide this relation...are you emploring the old spare tire routine in your midst...that is unhealthy becasue seeds of deceit has entered your current relationship...if you desire to be friends with your ex...and all parties are mature to embrace the extended friendship..go for it...I am not of the mindset to discard people...we need each others...therefore examine your motive for keeping your ex a secret from your current love...suggest the possibility to your current love, if it makes him uncomfortable..honr his position if you desire to flourish in this relationship