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    sammypopali's Avatar
    sammypopali Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 10, 2009, 11:30 AM
    My boyfriend doesn't show sexual interest in me, or any kind of loving attention
    I have been dating my boyfriend for about 14 months. We got pregnant right away, only about 2 months into the relationship. We used to have sex often. I figured the pregnancy was the main reason, but it has been 5 months since the birth. He won't kiss me unless he is leaving and never wants to have sex. He says he is too tired or doesn't feel like it. When we have sex I always start it, but he makes sure I know I am forcing him. He jokes a lot. I cannot tell when he is really serious or not. He doesn't try to touch me anymore and just shows no interest. He loves our daughter, and sometimes I wonder if that is the only reason he is with me. We are trying to buy a house together. We have almost broken up a few times because of the way he acts. He often says he is bored and doesn't like bringing his friends over because he thinks I am judging him-that was a few months ago and that seems better now. I love him so much. He says he loves me and wants to show me he loves me but doesn't think about it,and doesn't like being told to kiss me(it makes him not want to I guess.). He told me he does have bi-polar disorder but doesn't take medicine. He hates social norms and doesn't like to join in activities with my family. It started weird because he dated me the next day after he broke up with his ex, so I thought. He dated both of us for a few weeks, then preceded to have a sexual relationship with her until she left the state. I sort of knew, but was also still into my ex, not being able to make a choice. I'm sure he doesn't cheat now, but it hurts that the other girl decided to end it and not him. We have fought about how much it hurts now, even though then I wasn't in love with him and didn't feel hurt. After she left(she hates him now that the timeline of my pregnancy shows our relationship), he became really focused on me and would get hurt if I didn't show him affection in public. We are always together and I sure he could be just sick of me, but not showing any affection.
    He makes me feel like a sex addict, which doesn't make sense since we never have sex. I just want to feel loved. NOt that I associate sex with love or whatever. I would be fine if he actually wanted to kiss me and cuddle. I don't what to do. I want this to work even though it sounds so disfunctional.
    joshdom's Avatar
    joshdom Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    May 10, 2009, 01:44 PM

    I know the feeling very well. First the kissing stops, then the effort, then everything else breaks down until we are the only ones who are trying. The only thing you cn do is talk about it, and if he doesn't change it is up to you where you go from there. But it is very hurtful, but try to spice things up if nothing is working, be romantic with him and see where it goes ;)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    May 10, 2009, 02:37 PM

    How old are you both?
    nicolerocks711's Avatar
    nicolerocks711 Posts: 55, Reputation: -3
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    May 10, 2009, 07:55 PM

    Well at least he is around. I am in the same boat, I got pregnant a few months in the relationship, my son was born before our year anny! That is so bad. But hasn't been around since my last trimester and we never had the problem you are having. We were on each other like bunnies lol (which led to the pregnancy lol)
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #5

    May 10, 2009, 08:23 PM
    Sigh.

    Look, you've been together just over a year - in that time you've had a child with someone who was on the rebound from a previous relationship, who you hardly know and who sounds like he was still dating someone else when you got pregnant.

    I'm sorry but it sounds like a recipe for disaster. Too much too soon.

    You haven't had time to get to know each other and, in effect, to decide whether you want to be with each other. I would suggest that he's in total overwhelm - he had your love and attention all to himself previously when he needed it, after the break up of the previous relationship, and now there is a baby to look after and financial responsibilities to take care of.

    His lack of libido suggests that he's trying to create some space away from the demands of you and the baby. Give him some space. Be affectionate but don't expect anything in return. See how it goes.

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