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    moura's Avatar
    moura Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 20, 2008, 11:16 AM
    Is my boyfriend cheating?why doesn't he want me like before?
    Ok.. so my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 2 1/2months now and things have been really good and really bad at timeS during the period we have been together for. Before I started dating him during a year he was obsessed with me and like would practically go wherever I was and ask all his friends or my friends things about me (like we had hooked up like twice then) I finally gave in and started dating him and have now been with him for a year and nealry 3months. I lost my virginity to him after 3 months of being with him... 4 months into our relationship I found out he "cheated" on me when I looked through his lap top and found a conversation with a girl he had sex with in the past... ( when we weren't together and he claimed he liked me). I broke p with him went crazyy he denied it.. I even spoke to this girl and she refused to tlk to me and just told me he unzipped his pants... the worse part about this is that he had been with me before this.. and he told m he was going home and he actually spoke to her online and then went on meet her and then had audacity to call me and say . I'm bored can I come over... ( he came over to mine and just slept by my side all night.. ( I was CLUELESS) . Whatever I know its kind of confusing what m saying..
    More to point I forgave him after he begged me back cried said he was stupid and to this day has denied he did anything with her.. ( he said he felt bad, and took her back home and that's why he came over to mine after)!! I know he didn't have sex wit her but I think he mightve got a BJ. Im a strong person and very stubborn.. but I forgave him because he was my first and don't know I guess I'm stupid... Anyway this is just so you guys know that he is I guess what you call a cheater.

    So my problem at this stage is that he started working this year and its been like from morning till like night.. and I know he is working.. he is very smart and serious when it comes to work. But lately since 2 months or 3 I've seena a change in him... like before he wouldn't go anywhere without me and now he always wants to meet his friends alone and he leaves me alone at home knowing I know no one in this country as I have no friends or family... anyway my problem right now is that at beginnin of relationship we wuld have sex like all day.. we cut down later on.. and lately we hardly have sex maybe like once a week or sometimes we just don't... I mean I never initiate it because I get too embarrassed.. and its always when he wants and what he wants. So my question is.. is he cheating on me, does he no longer find me attractive? Like what is it.. like why does my boyfriend not have sex with me like before... and uses excuses like I'm tired, hungry,sick, stressed, work work etc..? But he still claims he loves me..

    I really need advice!! On this issue.. please let me know what you think about everythign I've mentioned froom the cheating above to the sex thing...

    (Oh and not trying to sound conceived but men and people around me always seem to compliment me on my looks and hwo pretty and nice body I have.. so like I dunno))
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #2

    Nov 20, 2008, 11:26 AM

    It has nothing to do with how attractive you are. If you want to continue to be with him, you have to trust him and right now it sounds like a full life keeps him from wanting to lay around and have sex all day.

    Being embarrassed is a horrible excuse to not initiate sex. Maybe he is bored with it always being his responsibility. Take the initiative and seduce him, it's not his job, if you want it make it known to him.

    When you grow up you will relize that all relationships go through this. The new relationship thrill is gone so it isn't sex every day all the time, but that doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you, but that doesn't mean he is cheating on you.
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #3

    Nov 20, 2008, 11:28 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by moura View Post
    (Oh and not trying to sound conceived but men and ppl around me always seem to compliment me on my looks and hwo pretty and nice body i have.. so like i dunno))
    The saying "beauty is only skin deep" is very accurate.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Nov 23, 2008, 11:07 AM

    I think you need a life of your own without him, as the communications are lousy, and your not working very well together to solve your issues to the benefit of you both.
    Talanimans Rules #'s 1, 2, and 3.
    No Honest communications- No healthy relationship.

    No trust- No relationship.

    If you aren't working together- You should be apart.

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