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I moved in with my boyfriend about 7 months ago. He owns the house we live in and I agreed to help out with the bills when I moved in. He originally wanted me to pay for half of every bill but I just cannot afford this. I make 30,000 a year and he makes 95,000! I am currently paying over 1/3 of what the bills are but I also have students loans/car payment/insurance/credit cards etc. By the time I am done paying bills for the month and buying some groceries i have about $50 left to my name. I tell him I just cannot afford to keep paying him this much and he always has his hand out for money. He also hates going out bc he does not want to pay for anything but when he does pay for something for me, he likes to constantly remind me that he paid for that time we went out. Also, for Christmas he will only spend as much on me as what i can afford to buy for him. He claims he never has any money but whenever he wants something he buys it and is currently looking at buy a $55,000 car while I am struggling to get by. Am I greedy or is he really just cheap?
There's two sides to every story. Obviously it sounds like he's cheap from your point of view. He might have a different version of the same story. It's too hard to tell.
In his defense, he's not obligated to spend any specific amount on you for Christmas, or anything else for that matter. He doesn't have to pay for a damn thing other than the essentials, and as long as you both hold up your ends of the bargain, he's technically not doing anything wrong. Afterall, you guys aren't married, so he technically doesn't owe you anything. Also, if you are complaining about sharing all these bills and rent, think about what it would be like to live ALONE. It's much more expensive that way.
HOWEVER, if he is reminding you about what he's paid for (and i mean constantly), and makes a big deal about money all the time, and isn't willing to work with you to solve any arguements or problems, then atleast you know all this stuff and you can still get out without too many problems, and before it gets worse.
The two of you if you are going to live together and share bills, need to work out a budget, if you are paying bills together, you both also need to agree on large purchases like a car and so on.
If you can not work out a budget now, it will only get worst latter.
Hey, this guy has it made in the shade if you ask me. He's convinced you to move in with him and pay some of his bills for him as well. Wowee!! If you continue to keep funding his lifestyle he's going to buy an even MORE expensive car with all the money he's saved having you as his live in bill payer and bedmate to boot.
Move out of the cheap skate's house as soon as you can as he's only going to get WORSE and will happily take more of your money.
Usually, usually, when a guy asks you to move in with him, HE pays the bills not asks someone to split them with him. What were you thinking? Is he that good in bed, that handsome, etc. that you have to PAY for the privilege of living with him?
Get your own place or get a female roommate who will not nickle and dime you to death.
I can almost guarantee that Mr. Cheap Skate has had quite a string of former live in girlfriends before and when one smartens up and moves out he just replaces her with another live in sucker. I've seen these financial predators before and they are out there in droves. So be on your guard for the next guy who asks you to live with him.
You have been taken, big time, honey, and it's time to wake up and smell the money leaving your wallet with those cute little wings.
it does not matter if he makes 90.000 a year or 1.6 million a year. he dosnt really have to help you out with anything.
he isnt cheap just careful you have only been with him 7months
if this is a problem get out because he isnt going to change.
Is there a mortgage on the house? If so then I think it's only fair that your name should be added, that way if you break up you'll be able to get back what you put in, otherwise you are just paying half of his mortgage which enables him to spend his money on other stuff while you help pay off his house. I also believe that the amount of money each of you make should determine how much you pay, it's not fair that he can spend his money on anything he wants and you never have any money left over. Are you boyfriend and girlfriend or just roommates? If you are planning on being together for a lifetime than you are both working towards a common goal, if not then what's the point?
My friend just went through this. How much credit card debt do you have? She had $62,000 and he was trying to teach her a lesson.
However, in the long run if it was me personally, I would continue to pay the expenses because it really doesn't cost more when your partner lives with you. Then if you do have credit card debt, you need to pay x dollars towards it until its paid off.
If no debt, then it goes in a joint fund for emergencies.
My take, hes cheap and you will get tired of this real soon. A spender and a saver are like oil and water.
OMG, leave his , this so unfair, he is making triple your salary and asking you to pay half the bills?
you are common law couple, he should even give you money, he is a very cheap man, just like Twinkiedooter said better live with a female roommate.
He is using you financially and physically, keep away form cheap ones, their the worst, how even can you sleep with someone has no regards and consideration for what you're going thru financially
she lives there, she should pay half...no matter how much he makes. So if he makes less than her, she should pay more? Why? If anything, it should be 50-50, no matter what. If he offers to pay a little more, then that's generous of him, but she shouldn't say BUT HE MAKES MORE...and expect him to "excuse" her. If they were married, it's a different story, but in a relationship, why not?
This has happened to me before. I made 3 times what my girlfriend made and my girlfriend wanted me to pay the rent while she paid the utilities. ...it doesn't make sense now...but I was young and in love. I went with it. I also ended paying for groceries, whenever we went out, etc. It just wasn't a fair relationship.
nadia999 claims that he should give her money. WHY? So if she made more money than he did, should she give HIM money? no way.
He is cheap/immature for mentioning that he always ends up paying for you. As far as Christmas gifts...he really doesn't have to spend a certain value. Just because he makes money doesn't mean he should spend it. However, if he specifically told you, "I'm spending as much on you as you spend on me" then it's just immature.
It's not a matter of being cheap. It's a matter of you wanting him to spend more money on you and him being immature. Perhaps he loves money a little too much.
If you can't afford the rent, then move out...find a roommate in a smaller place. As far as you wanting him to spend more money on you, I'd tone that down. No guy ever wants to hear his girl complain about how little money he spends on her. It's his money. He earned it. If he wants to blow all his salary on a new Hummer without spending a dime on you, it shouldn't matter.
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