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I moved in with my boyfriend about 7 months ago. He owns the house we live in and I agreed to help out with the bills when I moved in. He originally wanted me to pay for half of every bill but I just cannot afford this. I make 30,000 a year and he makes 95,000! I am currently paying over 1/3 of what the bills are but I also have students loans/car payment/insurance/credit cards etc. By the time I am done paying bills for the month and buying some groceries i have about $50 left to my name. I tell him I just cannot afford to keep paying him this much and he always has his hand out for money. He also hates going out bc he does not want to pay for anything but when he does pay for something for me, he likes to constantly remind me that he paid for that time we went out. Also, for Christmas he will only spend as much on me as what i can afford to buy for him. He claims he never has any money but whenever he wants something he buys it and is currently looking at buy a $55,000 car while I am struggling to get by. Am I greedy or is he really just cheap?
Thanks! You are right about the beer, but soccer is for ninnies! And come on...we all know there is no broadband internet service in an igloo! :-) Take care Altenweg...I am happy for you and your marriage and how well it seems to have worked for you! You just gotta take us men with about ten grains of salt...we like gettin' you girls all worked up...it is good entertainment...especially on here when you can't five fingers to the face us or initiate a game of one sided South Park rochambeau :-)
Wewed100606- Not a big fan of soccer myself, just stating fact. Love the comment about internet service in my igloo. It's -30 degrees celsius right now and has been for the last week, right now this is the only entertainment I have, and gosh darn it has been entertaining. As for the ten grains of salt, only if I can pour it on a wound (just joking). I think we're all a bit more outspoken when we don't have to face the people we're arguing with. Having said that, I do believe we all have a right to the opinions we've posted, sorry if I was a bit snarky, you guys always seem to be able to raise my ire. Good luck to all of you.
Yeah, one more thing before you squeek away, KEEP THAT F'ING COLD AIR UP THERE!!! I am in MN and you are sending god damned 50 degree below windchills up my tailpipe...knock it off!
Oh if only I could control the weather, do think I'd be waisting my time talking to you guys? Not only that, then I'd have the power to make you all agree with me. Nope, no power here. Toodles.
I live in Canada, and these are the rules in Canada (common law marriage after 6months of living together) to protect women from men who wants to take their precious fertile years in vain. I know this guy who was living with his girlfriend for 2 years and I guess there was some sort of abuse, when the police was called she took the apartment form him and he was told to by the police that "she gave you her time that means something! and she had no place to stay", he was so mad but he shouldn't have let her move in with him to take her time and money and now he is paying for it. Women carry babies in their tummies for 9 long months and they go thru a lot more than men, a man can have babies at any time in his life if he was single but if an older single woman wants a baby she has to spent a fortune to make that happen so women's time is way precious than men's.
I am sure if this woman had a baby and while she can't work to deliver the baby he is going to ask for her share and when she is not able he is going to split, what are her rights there?
This man won't be someone else after marriage he is the same guy, in a relationship you act upon your feelings , so if he doesn't feel her stress now what makes him feel it later, you don't want the other person to be stressed out while you're enjoying your money, Gosh is she having sex with this man or even kiss him?
No wonder why the divorce rate is so high
I strongly disagree, and so does any town or state law.
For example, let's assume I make 100K a year, but I own a very little house on a tiny piece of property. Let's also assume I live next to another man, call him "Peter", who makes 50K a year, but has a house 4 times the size as mine, on a size of land 4 times the property.
The town charges taxes to everyone, that isn't based on what you earn, it's based on what you own and use.
She uses half the house, half the electric, half of all the utilities. She is responsible for half of the payments.
I'm not sure why this is so hard to understand. I hate this "you make more so you pay more" theory. What if she made a million dollars a year, and he made 9 million dollars a year. She he pay 90% simply because he makes 90% of the household income, despite the fact that she'd be able to pay her half of the rent without problem?
This has nothing to do with the fact that he earns money. It has everything to do with the fact that she's having a hard time affording her half of everything. The easy way out is through him, which is unfair on his part. I feel bad for this guy.
Nicely said and would be appropriate if they were just roommates. (out of context)
It seems to me that everyone is missing the most important issue here. This is a relationship, not a business and certainly not a roommate vs roommate situation.
The fact still remains that the girl is primarily at fault for entering into an agreement short of doing the math first! (Extremely irresponsible)
The fact also remains that contracts and agreements can and will always remain subject to change.
The fact also remains that these two need to amend the agreement or terminate it!
The fact also remains that spinning the issue into a sexist issue is absurd!
The fact also remains that it is short sided at best to expect your significant other to pull equal financial weight $$$ with such a significant difference in earnings, regardless of who the bread winner is!
My advice still stands and is based solely on the premise of providing a viable solution, base your financial responsibility on a percentage of earnings vs $ for $..... or terminate the arrangement.
I asked some real men about this situation and they all agreed with me about him taking advantage of her financially. They are mature men, both married and unmarried, who are of the "old school" who believe in treating women with respect. They all agreed it was a con game pure and simple. She may have been naive and did not have this game pulled on her before and was thinking with her heart instead of her head. My one male friend called it a con game played by sadistic sh*ts. It's done all over. He's seen it a lot where he lives (in a foreign country).
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