At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
I moved in with my boyfriend about 7 months ago. He owns the house we live in and I agreed to help out with the bills when I moved in. He originally wanted me to pay for half of every bill but I just cannot afford this. I make 30,000 a year and he makes 95,000! I am currently paying over 1/3 of what the bills are but I also have students loans/car payment/insurance/credit cards etc. By the time I am done paying bills for the month and buying some groceries i have about $50 left to my name. I tell him I just cannot afford to keep paying him this much and he always has his hand out for money. He also hates going out bc he does not want to pay for anything but when he does pay for something for me, he likes to constantly remind me that he paid for that time we went out. Also, for Christmas he will only spend as much on me as what i can afford to buy for him. He claims he never has any money but whenever he wants something he buys it and is currently looking at buy a $55,000 car while I am struggling to get by. Am I greedy or is he really just cheap?
Oh, I will say that if the guy is rubbing in her face what he spent on things or what he bought her...that is pretty bunk. That is one of those times you take whatever he is that he is so proud of and light it on fire and say "next time keep the price tag to yourself".
He does sound like kind of a douche bag in that sense, but once again, consider the source!
I love ya Kate...but you gotta lose the poor me attitude...not attractive to anyone and it makes you look like a money grubbing hoochie mamma.
With the logic you and the other ladies on this board are using it sounds like a bunch of Communists. There is no ENTITLEMENT in life. The simple fact of life is you need to work for what you get. If you want more spending money, get another job, ask for a raise, refinance your debt, be pro-active...don't sit and b**ch about it and hope it gets better.
If there is one thing in this world I have no sympathy for it is people who complain about things that they have no willingness or motivation to change.
Everyone, I am basing my opinion on my experiences and also based on were I live. I don't live in the United States, I live in Canada. You are in a Common-law-marriage after you have lived together for a year (in Canada) the only difference between common-law and an actual marriage is the marriage certificate. If, after a year of living together in Canada you decide to split up, assets must be divided as if you were getting a divorce. My male cousin found this out the hard way and is now paying dearly. Yes, I am getting emotional about this issue. You are all men, I realize that you cannot begin to understand how a women thinks or feels (please, no snide remarks)
EuRa- Maybe I should take your advice and stop writing, you are correct, she never said she was paying towards a mortgage, but I cannot find anything that says she isn't, I just assumed that half the bills included the mortgage as she did state it is his house, even though she did say owns, that doesn't always mean paid for. I consider our mortgage as one of the bills, so I thought that her bills included a mortgage. Maybe she should be more specific about what she's actually paying for. Not that this info would change how you feel.
I think that we all have to agree to disagree, because even thought EuRa accused me of basing my response on my own life, I think we are all doing that to a large degree, that is were our opinions come from, our life experiences. I can't fault you your opinions, please show me the same courtesy.
If, after a year of living together in Canada you decide to split up, assets must be divided as if you were getting a divorce. My male cousin found this out the hard way and is now paying dearly.
can someone double check this? I'm not doubting you Altenweg...but if the above is true, then my life would have been screwed at least 3 times over by now.
Altenweg...I love you trying to dig out of this hole you have created, but even with Canada's One Year Common Law arguement she still falls 5 months short by my count...that is unless Canada has a shortened calender also? LMFAO
Then why are we talking about common law? Why is it even a topic of discussion on this board? Not even close in any of the United States and doesn't qualify in Canada? Why am I even reading the words Common Law fifty times on this post? People need to stick with the facts...man do things get out of control when we let ladies run amuck with their emotions!! HAHA! J/K Ladies! Damn have a little fun!
As for the hole...sounds kinda tempting...but with your Canuck Brain Trust you would have a tough time figuring out what to do with the earth my body displaced...and I can't stand to see any more smoke rolling out your ears ;-)
Take care my Canadian Comrade...god bless you for giving us Wayne Gretzky and good beer!
Kate,
Sorry, in this whole mess I think most of us forgot to answer your question. My take is this. No, he is not cheap. No, you are not greedy. You guys need to decide whether eachothers finances are any of eachothers business at this point. Maybe they shouldn't be. It sounds like you are young enough that you are still trying to get your feet on the ground. Just worry about you. And the advice to move oout if you can't afford it, good advice. Then the decision will be up to him whether your company is worth him dropping a couple hundred more bucks a month to make it work. One thing is for certain though, before you guys go to the next level, whcih would be engagement/marriage. You both need to know everything about eachothers finances. From the sounds of it I wouldn't be suprised if your BF has 10 times the debt you do...he just makes enough to ride the minimums and live the high life. It is the American way...debt laden and cash poor. Hey, you only live once, but know what you are getting into before you pull the trigger. If you ask me you both are making an issue out of a non-issue. If you are bickering about who spent more on Christmas presents it probably isn't a very solid relationship. He must be hung like Mr. Ed and you must be nothing short of Jessica Biel for this thing to have gotten this far!
True Faith- your opinion doesn't mean anything to me, I only listen to people I respect. I think you already know how little I respect you, largely because of the post about your girlfriend and how she's not pretty enough for a hot stud like you. That's in the past, which is were I'm leaving you.
wewed100606- You probably think that all the smoke coming out of my ears is going through the smoke hole at the top of my Igloo. I'll take your comment with a grain of salt, which is how I hope you intended it. Oh, by the way I've lived in Canada since I was 4 years old but I am still a German citizen, so in theory, I gave you even better beer than you thought, and some pretty great soccer players too.
Linear Mode
