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I moved in with my boyfriend about 7 months ago. He owns the house we live in and I agreed to help out with the bills when I moved in. He originally wanted me to pay for half of every bill but I just cannot afford this. I make 30,000 a year and he makes 95,000! I am currently paying over 1/3 of what the bills are but I also have students loans/car payment/insurance/credit cards etc. By the time I am done paying bills for the month and buying some groceries i have about $50 left to my name. I tell him I just cannot afford to keep paying him this much and he always has his hand out for money. He also hates going out bc he does not want to pay for anything but when he does pay for something for me, he likes to constantly remind me that he paid for that time we went out. Also, for Christmas he will only spend as much on me as what i can afford to buy for him. He claims he never has any money but whenever he wants something he buys it and is currently looking at buy a $55,000 car while I am struggling to get by. Am I greedy or is he really just cheap?
Bah, I can't give you more rep Sneeze, but if I could I would. That's an excellent post.
There is no way in hell this guy forced her to move in with him. She moved in on her own free will. I'm sure a discussion about payment was made BEFORE she moved in, otherwise it would be a stupid move on her part. And now that time has passed, her feelings have changed about what she should pay. Well that's tough titties. You're a grown up, you're the one who moved in, so you're the one responsible for half of everything. You're not married, just like Sneeze (and I already stated), so there's nothing wrong with the current living situation.
The ONLY thing that you can accuse him of is being a jerk if he's rubbing it in your face, or trying to make you feel worthless with words only. He's gone through life, paid his dues, and now he's reeping in the benefits from a good job. Why should he get dumped on if he wants to buy a new car? THEY AREN'T MARRIED PEOPLE! He can do whatever he wants to do with his life and his earnings.
If they were married, this would be a totally different issue. If she moved in before she made an agreement with him about payment, then that's her own stupid fault. I doubt that happened, because she doesn't sound stupid. She agreed to pay half from the very beginning, so why should that change? She's currently a room mate with relationship benefits and nothing more. Room mates pay half. Get over it!
-- PS - I will soon my moving in with my girlfriend, and going to college full time, so i wont have a job. She makes well over 40K a year, so should she pay 100% of everything because im not earning one cent? NO! Im selling my Corvette, my bike, my atv, and anything else I can find to make up for HALF the rent and utilities. It's the only fair way.
I like the posts by the women that say he should pay more.
Here's another example, I stay in every Friday and Saturday and study. My roommate parties nonstop. I get a 4.0 average, the roommate gets a 2.0 average.
Therefore, its only fair for me to give my roommate 1.0 of my average so that we both get a 3.0 average. YEAH RIGHT!
hat's the difference between married couple and common law married couple, it is all about feelings, right? and what you mean if they were married it is a different story, he is not going to be a different person because there is a little nuptial paper.
Yes if she makes more should be the same, it all about fair sharing, and they are not roommate they are sleeping together, they are in love so I think he is being callous.
And if she feels he is cheap then he is cheap, because people are different what seems cheap to one woman might seem fair to another woman. She's gotta go with what she thinks fair and if it is not to her, then it is not and he is not your type.
hat's the difference between married couple and common law married couple, it is all about feelings, right? and what you mean if they were married it is a different story, he is not going to be a different person because there is a little nuptial paper.
following your logic, I should ask, why don't people just have kids when they're dating? I mean, it's not like they'll be a different couple when they get married, right? it's just a nuptial paper...
no...when you're married, you're usually joining bank accounts and thinking of raising children together as you two are now one functioning unit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nadia999
and they are not roommate they are sleeping together, they are in love so I think he is being callous.
so...tell me, if you had a boyfriend, and he made less than you, you'd give up your paycheck so that you two will earn the same amount?
Say...for my optimism sake, I will be a surgeon. A specialized surgeon in the U.S. makes roughly $200k. Let's say the girl I date (and live with) makes $40k a year working at macy's. should I pay the entire rent, car payment, buy her a car, groceries, etc? why? Of course, if I made that much more, I'd offer to pay a bit more...but why should I give up more of my money...for a girl I'm simply "dating"? Yes, living together IS a commitment, but it's not a commitment like a joint mortgage is a commitment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nadia999
And if she feels he is cheap then he is cheap, because people are different what seems cheap to one woman might seem fair to another woman. She's gotta go with what she thinks fair and if it is not to her, then it is not and he is not your type.
if she feels he's cheap then he's cheap?!? ...what? if someone thinks I'm a serial killer then I'm a serial killer? ...my ex once thought I was cheating on her...so I was? no...
I agree with your last statement. If she thinks he's being cheap, then yes...he may not be right for her...however, she came onto this forum to ask if she's being reasonable.
my answer: no, you're not being reasonable. he IS being a bit immature and rude by shoving it in your face, but for you to expect/want him to pay more...is being unreasonable.
Well, there are living together for 7 months, this is more than 6 months that means by law they are in common law marriage.
Well, good luck finding a woman marrying you with that attitude, you make more than double her salary and you want her to share the same? God you are so cheap man, and I say the same the other way around
When a woman moves in with a man they are a couple, you don't just move in with some one you're dating, this is a marriage, if she should share the way you think, I think she should just consider that she is his roommate with benefits.
I think that if he eally loves her, they should come to an aggreement about how much money she should pay so that she is not left dead broke: $50!..cmon. That is her MAN; not a roomate. The rules can be bent a little. Maybe an agreement could be met, maybe he could help he get a higher paying job. He should not stress her. I say he's being cheap!
And lets be realistic; 9 times out of 10 if the situation were switched most women would probably take over more of the bills if she loved her man and allowed him to move in knowing his financial situation ( and he made that much more than him. Women are nurturers so that how it usually ends up.
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