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I moved in with my boyfriend about 7 months ago. He owns the house we live in and I agreed to help out with the bills when I moved in. He originally wanted me to pay for half of every bill but I just cannot afford this. I make 30,000 a year and he makes 95,000! I am currently paying over 1/3 of what the bills are but I also have students loans/car payment/insurance/credit cards etc. By the time I am done paying bills for the month and buying some groceries i have about $50 left to my name. I tell him I just cannot afford to keep paying him this much and he always has his hand out for money. He also hates going out bc he does not want to pay for anything but when he does pay for something for me, he likes to constantly remind me that he paid for that time we went out. Also, for Christmas he will only spend as much on me as what i can afford to buy for him. He claims he never has any money but whenever he wants something he buys it and is currently looking at buy a $55,000 car while I am struggling to get by. Am I greedy or is he really just cheap?
Well, I guess my example is very clear and why do you ask me about my age, I should ask you about your age for your limited understanding of ones' point which is very clear.
What I said was very clear, 98% of the men in the post seem bitter about the women, you sided with the man which is very clear he does not give a fig about how she feels or what's fair, so when I said if you were gay, who are going to side with?
And what do you mean it is her choice? you have no stance whatsoever, are you going to let the people you care about fall in mistakes without saying anything? still negative people like won't change any thing around them if it wrong. so your saying if someone is willing to die for you, you will let them die, and you will say , oh this person is an adult and this is what they want to do, what about you and where is your conscience?
and Bizygurl, money is # one cause of divorce.
"I do agree with you on the fact that money is one of the reasons why marriages end in divorce but not all of them and certainly not because its soley based on a man being cheap"-bizygurl
nadia999, you really need to fully read or reread someones post before you comment on it. I was NOT disagreeing with you that money being not a reason that marriages end in a divorce. Yes it may be the #1 reason or at the very least one of the very top reasons of divorce. Im not going to agree that Its the very top reason for it because I dont see any proof, nevertheless I did not disputed that it wasn't a great possibility. Where I did disagree with you was where you seem to put a general blame on men that its their fault that there are financial issues in a marriage and therefore...they are the blame for it ending in a divorce. So before you start getting a little uppetty about what I said in the last post, take a look and then you will realize that the point on the "money problems being a top reason of divorce" that you were trying to make, I actually agreed with.
admin...this mess needs to be closed. no point in it.
women, we love you guys...however, we will always disagree with you guys on certain topics.
nadia999...I know what you're saying. If someone's hurting, then you should do something about it if you love them. HOWEVER, if they don't heed your advice, then you have to let that go. They need to be willing to help themselves. However, that has absolutely nothing to do with this topic...at all. He's not hurting her...and she's not hurting herself. You took something that's relatively innocuous and turned it into a dying issue...really, no relevance. Also, the gay comment...it's a bit inappropriate. You're putting a stereotype that gay guys always side with a woman's point of view. Not necessarily the case. Each individual has their own point of view. Just because we "seem" bitter to women doesn't mean we should be gay. How about the idea that "you seem bitter to men...maybe you should be a lesbian?" That's inappropriate.
Altenweg...yes. we'll always disagree on certain topics. agree to disagree?
to everyone else...let's stop the bickering and just hold hands and kumbayah.
Thank you Alteweg for defending me.
I said before (Truefaith) I said the men are being callous on this specific topic. And you can say I am being crazy feminist on this specific topic, and you saying( YOU SAID IT) god, how childish to have a debate like that!. Just when you are out of logic and points to prove what you're saying don't personal attack, it's neither cool nor smart.
I am not arguing for the sake of arguing, money issue is a big deal and by understanding not just taking sides and being fair I guess lots of relationships could have survived.
A lot of people are reading this post and the goal, I know this my goal which is to make people fair. I have seen lots of marriages failed because of this specific issue and usually the man is not considerate, I have being in it and almost any relationship I witnessed .
I love what Dr. Phil said to a man on his show, this man was working and the wife is a stay at home mom and he was buying himself whatever he pleases and she has nothing and doctor Phil told him "it is not your money, it is a partnership between you two, whatever you make is yours and hers, she working in and your working outside", may be is not quite close to OP, but the message is if you love a person you consider their feelings and if you don't it will just create silent resentment and eventually splitting and then you will say "she left me for another man".
Usually men make more than women, if a woman is making more she would be callous to leave him with almost nothing. I understand that men usually very mathematical and it is very hard to tell someone your in a relationship with you are just mathematical, they will accuse immediately of being a gold digger, it is very frustrating.
Location: In my own world but the important people knows my name.
Posts: 74
Most relationships have fights over Sex or Money. I really hope the sex is worth all this drama! You will soon realize it is not.
As a woman who has always paid her own way. I want to say there is a communication problem between you two. If you feel this man is worth all that go to a money management class. There is a fantastic one for singles and couples by Dave Ramsey.
I agree with several posts here. But it all comes down to you Communicate if you can't in person write it out. Men do show their commitement with the parting of the denero.
I think you shpould read the book ""He is just not that into you"
Good Luck
admin...this mess needs to be closed. no point in it.
women, we love you guys...however, we will always disagree with you guys on certain topics.
nadia999...I know what you're saying. If someone's hurting, then you should do something about it if you love them. HOWEVER, if they don't heed your advice, then you have to let that go. They need to be willing to help themselves. However, that has absolutely nothing to do with this topic...at all. He's not hurting her...and she's not hurting herself. You took something that's relatively innocuous and turned it into a dying issue...really, no relevance. Also, the gay comment...it's a bit inappropriate. You're putting a stereotype that gay guys always side with a woman's point of view. Not necessarily the case. Each individual has their own point of view. Just because we "seem" bitter to women doesn't mean we should be gay. How about the idea that "you seem bitter to men...maybe you should be a lesbian?" That's inappropriate.
Altenweg...yes. we'll always disagree on certain topics. agree to disagree?
to everyone else...let's stop the bickering and just hold hands and kumbayah.
I agree with that. We are all beating this to death a bit.. and really all its doing is causing more bickering....time to "kumbayah"..as ISNEEZEFUNNY, greatly put it. Ill make the friendship bracelets.
I would have rated your answer, ISNEEZEFUNNY, but I had to spread some rep around first. ;0)
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