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I moved in with my boyfriend about 7 months ago. He owns the house we live in and I agreed to help out with the bills when I moved in. He originally wanted me to pay for half of every bill but I just cannot afford this. I make 30,000 a year and he makes 95,000! I am currently paying over 1/3 of what the bills are but I also have students loans/car payment/insurance/credit cards etc. By the time I am done paying bills for the month and buying some groceries i have about $50 left to my name. I tell him I just cannot afford to keep paying him this much and he always has his hand out for money. He also hates going out bc he does not want to pay for anything but when he does pay for something for me, he likes to constantly remind me that he paid for that time we went out. Also, for Christmas he will only spend as much on me as what i can afford to buy for him. He claims he never has any money but whenever he wants something he buys it and is currently looking at buy a $55,000 car while I am struggling to get by. Am I greedy or is he really just cheap?
Well this one has certainly struck a lot of nerves with a lot of people! Not even 48 hours old and already over 100 responses - that's got to be a near-record. After re-reading the original post and reading all of the responses posted on this thread (not to mention all the greenies and reddies!), my impression, and this is only my impression, is that the OP has an entitlement mentality. It has little to do with gender as there are plenty of both men and women in this world with such a mindset. She seems to feel that, because his income is more than 3 times what hers is, that he should pull more of the weight than she should. Well that's just a big crock, sorry to say. All she does is complain ; nowhere does she mention anything about re-negotiating the arrangement or finding some other alternative solution to what she perceives to be the problem at hand. I and several other posters have mentioned that she's free to move out but notice that she apparently isn't interested in doing that ; if she did, then she'd have to pay all of her own living expenses. To me it almost sounds like she's the one trying to take advantage of him. She doesn't want to live on her own, i.e. pay her own way 100%, so she latches onto some well-off guy with he hope that he'll carry the majority of the weight. When he doesn't let her take advantage of him, he gets painted as "cheap" and some have even labeled him a "con artist." Well, if anything, I think she's the one doing the "conning" here.
God, the men are so bitter against women, I guess they should try to be gay, if you still think this arrangement is fair you are all callous. I would say the same if they were gay couple.
I will give you an example hope you find the similarity because you all say it is her choice, if someone is sick with a cold and wants to swim and you love this individual and even sleep with this individual, would you let them? it is their choice to swim but because you care you wouldn't or at least say to this person "you can not afford the consequences so it is better till you can afford to swim, you swim"
Well this one has certainly struck a lot of nerves with a lot of people! Not even 48 hours old and already over 100 responses - that's got to be a near-record. After re-reading the original post and reading all of the responses posted on this thread (not to mention all the greenies and reddies!), my impression, and this is only my impression, is that the OP has an entitlement mentality. It has little to do with gender as there are plenty of both men and women in this world with such a mindset. She seems to feel that, because his income is more than 3 times what hers is, that he should pull more of the weight than she should. Well that's just a big crock, sorry to say. All she does is complain ; nowhere does she mention anything about re-negotiating the arrangement or finding some other alternative solution to what she perceives to be the problem at hand. I and several other posters have mentioned that she's free to move out but notice that she apparently isn't interested in doing that ; if she did, then she'd have to pay all of her own living expenses. To me it almost sounds like she's the one trying to take advantage of him. She doesn't want to live on her own, i.e. pay her own way 100%, so she latches onto some well-off guy with he hope that he'll carry the majority of the weight. When he doesn't let her take advantage of him, he gets painted as "cheap" and some have even labeled him a "con artist." Well, if anything, I think she's the one doing the "conning" here.
Yeah, her $50.00 leftovers at the end of every month are proof that she is a real true con artist. And there I was thinking she was a little unsure of her scenario and coming here for some insight before she made a decision as to what she was going to do about her situation. That little devil!!! How could I have been so blind? NOTE-- This was to be read as pure sarcasm
God, the men are so bitter against women, I guess they should try to be gay, if you still think this arrangement is fair you are all callous. I would say the same if they were gay couple.
I will give you an example hope you find the similarity because you all say it is her choice, if someone is sick with a cold and wants to swim and you love this individual and even sleep with this individual, would you let them? it is their choice to swim but because you care you wouldn't or at least say to this person "you can not afford the consequences so it is better till you can afford to swim, you swim"
...what...?
someone's sick...they want to swim...yeah I'd let them. I'd advise, "You shouldn't swim..." but in the end, if they really want to, they'll swim...and they'll probably get sicker. the "sick" person, if I'm dating them, is not a child. She is an adult...she can do whatever she wants to.
and btw, this woman's not "sick"...she's able to afford the rent. She has a choice to be able to move out or renegotiate or even get a higher paying job. A better example is her being sick, then swimming, and then complaining that her boyfriend should have told her not to swim.
...and the gay comment? what? what're you saying? Do you review your own comments? Really, get someone to proofread your comments. If they ever say, "what are you trying to say here?" ...think about it again...come back with a different comment.
...also, I really REALLY must ask again. how old are you?
Well, I guess my example is very clear and why do you ask me about my age, I should ask you about your age for your limited understanding of ones' point which is very clear.
What I said was very clear, 98% of the men in the post seem bitter about the women, you sided with the man which is very clear he does not give a fig about how she feels or what's fair, so when I said if you were gay, who are going to side with?
And what do you mean it is her choice? you have no stance whatsoever, are you going to let the people you care about fall in mistakes without saying anything? still negative people like won't change any thing around them if it wrong. so your saying if someone is willing to die for you, you will let them die, and you will say , oh this person is an adult and this is what they want to do, what about you and where is your conscience?
and Bizygurl, money is # one cause of divorce.
All us boys should stop talking to this person right now
as she is starting to scare me.
Die for you??. im not english and i dont write very well in it. but wow i really cant understand a word you are saying
Your examples are so far out there, they should be on the moon.
im sorry you view life this way.
How dare you? You have no right to try to black list Nadia by telling people to stop talking to her. Don't presume that all the "boys" agree with you.
Boys, we haven't always agreed, but I think I've made it clear that even though I don't always agree with you I do respect your right to have an opinion and voice it and be heard(even you TrueFaith, but why are some of you being so nasty? We are all adults, this issue is not life or death, the person who started this post doesn't even care enough about our opinions to read them. Can't we all just try and get along.
Well, Truefaith , when you have a stance on a specific issue you look at the extreme to see if your opinion is right or wrong, and for you to talk about me like that is just immature, stop the personal attack it just shows immaturity, and what do you mean I am scaring you? and "people don't talk this person" god, how weak and cheap attack.
I will give a little advice to make you seem sophisticated and smart when you are in discussion, never personal attack the individual you are debating with, if you disagree, disagree. if you don't like it, keep your cool, people disagree all the time because personal attacks shows weakness and it has nothing to do with the topic.
You can say I am crazy feminist or any thing has to do with the topic but that? is just childish
, but why are some of you being so nasty? We are all adults, this issue is not life or death, the person who started this post doesn't even care enough about our opinions to read them. Can't we all just try and get along.
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