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My boyfriend of 3 years and I have a pretty good relationship except for two MAJOR problems . The first is that he has become very unreliable as of late. He used to be really good about calling when he said he would and answering his phone when he knew I was going to call him. Lately, however, he almost never calls when he says he will (I wait a while and then give up and call him). This really frustrates me because I see it as disrespectful and distancing. It's not that hard to remember you promised your girlfriend you would call her, especially when you used to remember and do so with ease.
The second major problem: He's cheap! He has already graduated from college and is making a good living. I am still in college and am struggling to save money to pay off my credit cards. Yet he still expects me to drive to his apartment instead of him coming to see me every once in a while. His argument is that he has his own place while I live with my parents, so if we want to spend the weekend together, it makes more sense for me to come to him. OK, I'll buy that, but would it hurt him to throw a few bucks my way to help me out, since I'm doing all the driving? Gas ain't cheap and he lives a good distance away. I'm spending almost all my earnings on gas to go see him and he still complains when he has to buy me dinner. Yep, that's right, oftentimes, on top of everything, he even asks me to pick up the check for our evenings out. He usually says he doesn't have any money (apparently, he spends his entire paycheck within a week of getting it).
All this makes me really angry and frustrated, because I feel like he's taking advantage of me. If it were one or the other, I might be OK with it, but he disrespects me by not calling when he says he will and then refuses to see things from my POV financially. I don't mean to make him sound like an . He's a good boyfriend, for the most part. I just need to know whether I'm overreacting about these issues. If I'm not, what should I do to turn things around?
Gently remind him that relationships should be 50/50, it's give and take for both parties. You are not his mommy and not his chauffeur. Besides, you can't even write him off on your taxes as a dependent.
If you feel as though he is taking advantage of you, it's because he is.
Tell cowboy to pony up or find a new girlfriend to leech off of.
My boyfriend of 3 years and I have a pretty good relationship except for two MAJOR problems . The first is that he has become very unreliable as of late. He used to be really good about calling when he said he would and answering his phone when he knew I was going to call him. Lately, however, he almost never calls when he says he will (I wait a while and then give up and call him). This really frustrates me because I see it as disrespectful and distancing. It's not that hard to remember you promised your girlfriend you would call her, especially when you used to remember and do so with ease.
The second major problem: He's cheap! He has already graduated from college and is making a good living. I am still in college and am struggling to save money to pay off my credit cards. Yet he still expects me to drive to his apartment instead of him coming to see me every once in a while. His argument is that he has his own place while I live with my parents, so if we want to spend the weekend together, it makes more sense for me to come to him. OK, I'll buy that, but would it hurt him to throw a few bucks my way to help me out, since I'm doing all the driving? Gas ain't cheap and he lives a good distance away. I'm spending almost all my earnings on gas to go see him and he still complains when he has to buy me dinner. Yep, that's right, oftentimes, on top of everything, he even asks me to pick up the check for our evenings out. He usually says he doesn't have any money (apparently, he spends his entire paycheck within a week of getting it).
All this makes me really angry and frustrated, because I feel like he's taking advantage of me. If it were one or the other, I might be OK with it, but he disrespects me by not calling when he says he will and then refuses to see things from my POV financially. I don't mean to make him sound like an . He's a good boyfriend, for the most part. I just need to know whether I'm overreacting about these issues. If I'm not, what should I do to turn things around?
I can understand him not wanting to go to your parents house if he has a place where you two can have your privacy. If you say he spends his whole pay check in one week, is this money spent on bills?
Maybe he is barely making ends meet like millions of Americans. You know, living pay check to pay check. After he pays his bills, there may not be monies for entertainment.
I myself have been in financial positions where I couldn't afford to wine and dine my girlfriend. Sad!
He is kinda selfish, he holds on to his idea on MONEY. He needs some growing. Try talk to him about him being cheap...see what he says. If he insists staying that cheap then u problly need to take some action(not leaving him) but make sure he knows his selfishness!!!
Superfed disagrees: These people are not married. Her boyfriend is not obligated to spend his hard earned cash on her... Why do women expect a man to foot the bill 100% of the time?
He is cheap, I understand that they are dating but they are not even 50/50. She is a working student, but he is already gradauted and makes a good living. Not 100% but at least 50/50! Can he do that? Seems not!!
Superfed disagrees: These people are not married. Her boyfriend is not obligated to spend his hard earned cash on her... Why do women expect a man to foot the bill 100% of the time?
He is cheap, I understand that they are dating but they are not even 50/50. She is a working student, but he is already gradauted and makes a good living. Not 100% but at least 50/50! Can he do that? Seems not!!
You are just taking her side of the story. Remember, there are two sides to every story.
And how do you know he makes enough money after he pays his monthly bills to spend money on her. Did you ever think he may have student loans to pay back?
And how do you know how much money he has in his bank account?
Either you don't complain about him being cheap, or he doesn't complain about paying for ur dinner. If he wants to you pay for everything then that's TOO much, girl! I still can't stand on that he COMPLAINS on paying for ur dinner, then why he wants to date you?
Well if he is not calling you and distancing himself for you I would say he may be having second thoughts on this relationship.
You do not know what this guy is paying for or what his financial obligations are. Everyone thought I had this great paying job and had all this extra income but I was struggling. I had debt to repay and student loans. Its not always what you think.
You cannot expect your boyfriend to pay you to come see him. If you don't want to drive to see him then don't. Tell him to come pick you up because you can't afford the gas. If you can't then maybe you need to move on.
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