We all know that after a relationship, people tend to go on the "rebound".... finding someone to just pass some of the time along and get it out of the system... My question is... is it possible for someone who broke up with you to go on Rebound???

shygrneyzs

Yes, it happens often. Dating someone while "on the rebound" works both ways.

NJCUTIE77

Would this sometimes make the person that broke it off with you realize what he had??? Does it take that to realize???

Geoffersonairplane

Great question....

My ex split up with me 3 1/2 months ago.. If you want to read my story, here is a link to it for you:- http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...elp-39548.html

Back to your questions.

Question: My question is... is it possible for someone who broke up with you to go on Rebound?

Answer: Definately possible but I think it also depends on how long the dumper took to emotionally switch off their feelings towards you. Sometimes the dumper slowly cuts you off and therefore is able to move on much quicker post break-up.

Question: Would this sometimes make the person that broke it off with you realize what he had?

Answer: Sometimes, but remember that it was broke for a reason. It depends on why they left, how old they are, how much they valued you in the first place. They would need to be making comparisons about you and their new partner which reflect you as the better option that they made the mistake of leaving behind.

Question: Does it take that to realize?

Answer: Perhaps if the dumper has not ever experienced any of the bad eggs out there, they then experience them and realize, what the heck have I done?.. Sadly it does depend on the rebounds that he/she goes with, what they have to offer, emotionally, financially,physically,spiritually e.t.c.

Bear in mind that the dumper could actually feel that they have made the right choice and never come back. Mind you, by the time they did, if they did, you would probably be in a state of mind that does not want THEM in your life..

+ another thing to remember is that if they break-up with you, realize what they did was a mistake and have been with every Tom, Fred and Harry, (or every Anna, Sarah and Betsy for that matter), if you did forgive them and let them back in your life then you would be considered in their eyes as a revolving door for them when they can come and go as they please...or perhaps more of a harsh but true term, a doormat...

shygrneyzs

Sometimes it does happen that way, yes. But I would exercise caution, great caution in fact, before jumping into that same relationship. All the things that were wrong and went wrong are still there. All the things that were hedging on the border of feeling right and not feeling right look better from the distance.

Sometimes when a person "gets" their freedom and they see what is on the other side, it really was not what they wanted. That old saying the grass is always greener on the other side. Often though, that person who left the relationship to seek another and then leaves that relationship to seek another, will NEVER be happy. Because what they are seeking cannot be found within another person - it has to come from within themselves first. Sadly, they seem to drag many people with them.

I would not make myself too readily available to this person. You could end up being the recepient of more heartache. Then again - maybe he experienced some grand insight into his own behavior and can focus on who is in front of him and strive to make a better relationship.

So it can go both ways. Just be very careful. Trust your basic instincts, if something tells you that all is not well, back off and take a break. Remember that only you can take care of yourself better than anyone else and you deserve the best in all things and in all people.

Best of all to you.

Geoffersonairplane

By the way, this was just an expression or figure of speech..

Do not want to sound like I am insulting anyone with these names..

talaniman

Not all people react the same to rebound relationships. Some can last quite awhile and maybe its not forever it depends on how the two people get along and work together. Believe it or not rebound relationships can be quite a good thing, but it takes mature people who know themselves for it to work. Sometimes all people are looking for is fun, or companionship, while they are getting over a bad relationship. Will it make them realise what they had? Maybe, Will they want to go back? Not if they find something better.

Geoffersonairplane

Great points raised here by shygrneyzs..

I like the grass is always greener reference too..

I think certain people follow patterns and as shygrneyzs points out, this type of person who trys to seek something that should be searched within follow these very same patterns and in the process end up hurting almost everyone in their path. In the end, the only person that suffers is this person...

You live by the sword, you die by the sword..


I like what you wrote here tal, tried to rate you but I must spread it...

You must be prepared for the latter of what Tal wrote...the fact that they won't come back if they find better..

It hurts to think like that but sadly, life is not always kind..

If you want to find the rainbow, sometimes you must be prepared to feel the rain.

RATING:
I agree with the fact that you agreed and further to this I agree that both sexes are not immune to becoming one of these>>>Doormat..

I felt like one of these in my relationship...

Way too forgiving.. Mind you, there are some things that I would never have forgiven that I hear people on this website contemplating forgiveness for.

Love is blind though..

Men and women are open to the same problems emotionally I am sure. It is all down to how healthy and balanced ones life is and also you need to draw a line and say "NO, I WON'T BE TREATED THAT WAY, I DON'T DESERVE THIS ANYMORE"

Allheart

Perfect Geoff, aaah another one for the engraver

valinors_sorrow

I really do think that a lot of what is going on with those strange couples who break up and make up over and over is that after the first break, its all rebounding and rebounding again, never getting down to it, never learning or fixing a thing. It goes to show how powerful it is that you cannot fix the loss of one with the company of another, even when the other is the original one! Yikes, did that make sense? LOL

Anyone post break up is a candidate for a rebound. Grieving is what fuels it. The surest way to get your heart broken is to get involved with someone who isn't over it yet. Its only a rebound in my book when you carry some unfinished biz from before into the next relationship that turns out toxic to that relationship. Ergo few rebound relationships last by that definition. Now people who learned some fine lessons and are having another go at it -- well, that's all together different!