Hi,i've just split up with my boyfriend after 5 years because he told me that he is not in love with me anymore.He says it is not my fault that's just how he feels in his heart.Even tough I was horrible to him-jealous,angry and bossy atc.I just don't belive it,because he used to love me so much and are relationship was quite good.He is just the person who doesn't open his feelings and keep it for him self.And past few month I gave him a very stressful time.He still wants to be a best friend and share things together,but I think he still must love me a bit because I don't belive that you can just stop loving someone after so many years,specially when you love so much before.I think he just wants to runaway from me and to be stressed anymore.Do you think I have any chance to get him back?

ForeverZero

The problem with things like this, is often the decision has been made long before you ever hear about it. This is something that's been stewing in his mind for quite some time, and there's nothing you can actively do to bring him back.

You need to ask yourself what you might have done to drive him away. You listed that you were jealous and bossyand angry with him. Is that who you are normally? Is this how you behave in other relationships? If so, is this who you want to be? If you're comfortable with yourself then it's time to just move on because you two don't fit together. Conversely, if you feel like you're not like that ordinarily, what was it that brought you to that state? Was it him? That's another can of worms, but you need to keep one simple fact in mind.

He does not want to be in a relationship with you right now.

It's in your best interest to figure out what's going to make you happy with this that doesn't rely on him doing anything. If that means no contact between the two of you, then that's the way its gotta be. One way or the other, there's no way you're ever going to make him come back. Take some time and work on yourself, and if that draws him back, then so be it, if it doesn't, then you two don't fit.

talaniman

If you were all those things you mentioned then his wanting out should come as no surprise. As Foreverzero has said this probably has been on his mind for some time so its best to leave him alone and worry about you and your life without him. Good time to work on those things you mentioned.

ordinaryguy

Jealousy, anger and bossiness can kill love pretty effectively. If you think it can't, maybe that's the lesson you need to learn from this. It's a common illusion to think that because love is so powerful it can withstand any insult or outrage, but that isn't so. Love is actually more fragile than you might think, so learn to treat it gently and with the utmost care if you want it to last. Once it has been damaged or destroyed, it's nearly impossible to restore.

Nosnosna

He probably does, at least some. Most of us still care about people we were involved with for any length of time, even years ago, no matter how poorly they may have behaved. What you can tell from the fact that he does still want to be close friends (assuming of course that he's not just saying that, as often happens) is that he does care about you.

That being said, don't read anything into the post-breakup signs. Don't try to get him back... since he initiated the break-up, any return to a relationship would need to be started by him as well, at least for a good long while. Otherwise, you'll come across as kind of creepy.

The best thing you can do at this point is figure out where you need to be... if you're going to be unhappy in a 'just friends' setting, then break off contact. If you can handle it, stay close friends... that's always the better way to do things, since you were probably friends to start with anyway. Sometimes it's best to back off the friendship for a while, and then resume it after a few months have passed so that you can both get out of the relationship mindset that would make the friendship uncomfortable.

Since you know what you did wrong in the relationship, you should take a look at yourself and see if you can fix those things... this is an excellent time to reexamine things you don't like about yourself and make a few changes.