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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   Big Decision

 
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Old Apr 12, 2004, 11:46 AM
Mylife0622
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Big Decision

Ok. Me and this guy have been seeing each other on an off, mostly because I dont know how I feel about him, I have never really given him too big of a chance. Recently he joined the Army, and has gone to Iraq and since then come back also. He came home this past weekend and asked me to move with him to Texas, where he is stationed. i live in South Carolina. I have never been faced with this kind of decision before and I am totally lost. Part of me wants to go, but part of me is completly terrified. If anyone that has gone through this before could you please give me some advice about what to do to make the decision making easier?? I really care about this guy, but i'm scared that once I get out there it wont be enough, and I that I will regret it. Please help!
:-/

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Old Apr 16, 2004, 11:00 AM   #2  
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Re: Big Decision

If you aren't ready then don't go. There will be great pressure on your relationship out there because you won't know anyone. On the other hand you will be closer to him so that will be easier. I would wait until you feel driven to be with him all of the time. You might consider getting engaged before moving. He should present you with a ring to confirm his committment. If you think that marriage is much too serious for you at this time then you need to ask yourself what you are doing traveling across country for some guy?
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Old Apr 18, 2004, 12:39 PM   #3  
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wot shall i do?

ok,i am going out wit this boy how is 16 for 3 months,and he wants to sleep wit me and i dont want to cause i am under age.and i am to scared to leave him coz he will get really mad and hit he like he did before.but i really am in love wit his boy called jack how is 16 and he wanted to sleep wit me not coz he was just wanting me for sex,and i was ready to sleep wit him cause i love him so much, so we did ,but now i'm pregnant and i also went to a party with my mates and they told me that this lad how was 17 and was getting me drunk so he could sleep wit me and my mates gave him my mobile number and he keeps on ringing me asking if i want to sleep wit him,but he's just like my boyfriend (he's scarey) and the thing i am only 14.please tell me wot to do,i am so scared.
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Old Apr 18, 2004, 09:34 PM   #4  
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Re: Big Decision

Hi Mylife0622,

I can completely sympathize with you in your situation. I too was faced with this about 7 years ago. I can tell you this, moving across country to be with someone is extremely hard. It's like Viking said - you are moving to somewhere where the only person you know is your boyfriend. I'm not sure if he has lived in TX before or not. If he hasn't, it would make things a bit better because the only person he will know is you, rather than having many friends while you sit at home wondering why you moved for him.

The best thing you can do here is to have a serious sit down with your boyfriend. You both need to find out what it is that you're looking for out of a relationship. See how well that matches up (and 99% of it needs to match to make a move like this work) and go from there. It will be tough for a little while when you're both adjusting to the changes. However, if you are both ready to make a commitment to this relationship, it is more than understandable to go forward with the move.

I can also tell you this, if it doesn't work out and you have to move back, you might not regret it. Sometimes we need major leaps of faith like this to learn really important lessons in life. I did and I would never look back and regret what I did. You might make life-long friends there, really enjoy the area, or even think about staying - with or without his company. Just a thought for you.

Best wishes to you! I hope you are able to work things out.
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Old Apr 30, 2004, 09:41 AM   #5  
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Re: Big Decision

replay to "wot shall i do?"
well first of all...you cannot speak english correctly...you have many problems...i dont get it... why stay with someone who is physically abusive and only wants the big "V" that is your virginity youngen...you need to rethink who you are hanging out with and find someone who will treat you with respect and respect your morals and values.
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