I am new here, but totally heartbroken & lost, and really need guy’s view point & everyone's advice. Thanks for help in advance...
I am 27, in 1.5 years of relationship with my bf of 28 yrs old, and I love him so much. We exchanged our promise ring, and talk about getting married in a year or so. Recently, I felt he became distant. Last night, I could not reach him at all, and realized he was not available every Friday night lately. So, I did my research, and guess what, I found out he posted his profile on multiple dating sites, and has been active. I was heart broken.
I confronted him with tears today. I told him I have been faithful for him since we met, and he should do the same thing for me. He was upset about my confrontation, and told me that he would marry me someday but now, and he likes to explore 1or 2 years to see what else is out there. He told me he would be faithful once marred, and that’s why he needed the experience right now. He is telling me that he will still see me every weekend, even though he is trying to see someone else, and I should not take it as a big deal (?). He is also saying that he does not like a promiscuous girl, and I should stay with him no matter what he does. He told me “You are telling me you are not interested in anyone, I will marry you in a couple of years anyway, and you should be with me.” I was speechless, and asked him to leave. He was very upset, slammed the door, and left me even without apology.
I had a sleepless night, and I have cried all day long. I was in denial, but now I know he has been cheated on me. How could he do it to me? I am totally shocked and confused. I am very angry, and my brain is keep telling me that I should break up with this cruel person right now. However I am so scared to loose him. My heart says I should be with him unconditionally. I love him so much, I will regret if I loose him. What should I do? I am totally lost and need help big time. Can you please give me any advice? What should I do?
Confused Rebecca,
Do you know that Just Looking was attacked by her ex and she is in the hospital? I hope you will take good care of your own safety. Make sure you are not alone this weekend and if you can stay with your parents or friends, I would recommend it.
Take care.
Confused Rebecca,
Do you know that Just Looking was attacked by her ex and she is in the hospital? I hope you will take good care of your own safety. Make sure you are not alone this weekend and if you can stay with your parents or friends, I would recommend it.
Take care.
Confused Rebecca,
Do you know that Just Looking was attacked by her ex and she is in the hospital? I hope you will take good care of your own safety. Make sure you are not alone this weekend and if you can stay with your parents or friends, I would recommend it.
Take care.
Good morning Asking, and all!
It is monday morning.
Thank you for your concern. You guys are really nice to me, and I cannot thank enough.
My best gf picked me up at 5:30 pm Friday, and I stayed in her place for whole weekend. You guys were right. It was much easier to deal with the pain with someone. I have a tendency to close up when I have any issues, and try to resolve it by my own, but I realized that it was not always right approach. I am so weak, and really need help right now to deal with it...
I am so fortunate I have such a wonderful & smart gf! She, and her bf, and my ex used to hang out together, she knows him well. She was so angry my ex cheated on me by flirting & dating girls online. I opened my chest, talked and cried with her all weekend. She told me my ex called her 3-4 times a day, and he seemed very depressed. She asked him what he did to me, and he only said that he did something very stupid, and he messed up big time.
My gf comforted me, and gave me advice how to deal with it, and even told me her previous breakup story I never heard before. I guess she is trying to make me ffel better in her best.
Saturday morning, we went to spa as scheduled, but I could not enjoy it at all since my stomach was against the nice herb scent in the spa. We had to leave early, and visited a doctor's office. The doctor diagnosed it as not stomach flue even though the symptom is exactly same, and gave me some prescription. We picked up prescription medicine at a drug store,, and stayed in her place all day Sunday. She forced me to take medicine, eat soup. She constantly distracted me not to dwell in my sorrow, and talked to me any silly joke to force me to laugh. I had to smile with tears sometimes. What a nice girl.
She is agreeing I need to break off because he went too far behind of back, it destroyed our trust and relationship, even though he is claiming he did not sleep with any of them.
The nicest thing was she let me sleep in her bed Friday, not in the guest room. I really needed warm physical contact from nice person, and her kind gesture made me fall in sleep well. Oh, gee...tears again...
I asked her if I can stay with her for another week in her place, and she said yes. I am so happy to stay here even! I have to go back to work tomorrow, but I am still at her place while she left to work. I am going back to my apartment by taxi, and pick up some stuff, and come back in the afternoon.
I have had no contact with anyone since my cell phone battery died since Friday. There is any news I am looking for at this point, and I feel better in this way. Thanks again!
I just came back to pick up my stuff.
Here is what I posted on my door when I left Friday.
Notice:
This entrance is for a loyal & faithful person only.
Please do not knock or ring for life time, if you are not qualified.
Well, I just saw my door. My ex decorated it like a 9/11 memorial board. On small yellow sticky paper, he wrote "I will not talk to other girls again. I am sorry - from your fiancé-" in handwriting, and put them in heart shape around the warning sign on my door. The sticky papers were about 70-80. He taped flowers & ribbons all around the warning sign as well. He must did it like a kindergarten project. He was never been my fiancé, ex bf now, but I must admit it is very hilarious. I burst laugh.
I went downstairs to see our doorman, Dexter (not real name). He asked if I enjoyed the special arrangement on my door. Dexter is a big fan of my ex, because my ex is involved in a community project to help unfortunate young people, and Dexter came from the community. He has high respect on my ex. My ex was friendly with Dexter, treated him very well always. Oh, well...
I told Dexter, he is my ex now, and he is not approved to visit me anymore. Dexter was holding 3 flowers for me. I told him to dump them again. Dexter looked at my face with disbelief, but did not say anything.
My ex seems premature. He used to be always funny, and that 's why I attracted to him in the beginning. I do not think he will be harmful.
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