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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   BF refused to buy a gift

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Old Aug 23, 2009, 10:27 PM
Sierra_Leone
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BF refused to buy a gift

Hi,

My bf asked me what i would like to have for a present. I really need a laptop for my education as mine is broken, so i told him. He refused and said that we should discuss it. I feel humiliated and offended. Was i wrong to ask for a laptop?? I feel so ashamed, like i am some kind of a tacky girl

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Old Aug 25, 2009, 12:53 AM   #21  
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You guys don't have to be like that. I am not his mistress, as he does not leave with his wife anymore. The only reason that he is not divorcing is becouse of money issues. And yes, i am sure that he does not leave with his wife as we are planning to visit his hometown soon and there is a chance that i'll come across his wife.
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Old Aug 25, 2009, 12:57 AM   #22  
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money issues? if he as so much money that you see nothing wrong with asking him to buy you a laptop after only dating him for TWO MONTHS, then why can't he afford to get divorced? if he honestly can't afford to get divorced, then why in the nine hells did you think asking him for a laptop was ok? also, you're worried that asking for a laptop will make you seem tacky, not that fact that you are seeing a married man?

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Gemini54 agrees: Yep! There sure are some contradictions here.
Altenweg agrees: So many things wrong with this whole thing. None of it makes sense.
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Old Aug 25, 2009, 02:35 AM   #23  
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I never said that he is RICH and has so much money as hheath541 is saying. I only said that he can afford it. Btw, i got him wrong. He didn't refuse to buy the laptop, i misunderstood him as we were emailing each other and got lost in translation.
I was bothered about him being still officially married as i had previously bad experience with it. But his is separated from her... He almost never sees her. I am not planning to get married in the near future or make him divorce. It is solely his own business and decision and i am definately not ruining his marriage!
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Old Aug 25, 2009, 03:00 AM   #24  
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i didn't say he was rich, you basically did. what i said was that if he has enough money that you think expecting him to drop several hundred dollars on a gift for you after only two months makes sense that he should have enough to afford a divorce.

sounds, to me, like he doesn't really want to get divorced. either he's lying to you about something or you're not giving all the facts.

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amicon agrees: yap thats what you said.
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Old Aug 25, 2009, 06:03 AM   #25  
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I think your showing us how you keep getting attached to married men, as they all use the same line on unsuspecting females, and even though he may well be separated, he will probably go back to her, before he makes a commitment to you.

Separations are not official, he is still legally married, and its cheaper to have you on the side to help him thru the emotional times, that a separation brings. He still pays her bills, and maintains her life, and his kids, if there are any, and half his worth is hers. Yes, you are his mistress, or thing on the side, while he still has a wife.

Good thing he can afford you, but the future is not bright with him at all. You already know what the emotional price is that you will pay, with being with a married man, you have done that before, and are doing it again.

Forget the laptop, and any gifts he uses to buy your time, and love, get a single guy to have fun with, and leave the married ones alone.
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Old Aug 25, 2009, 06:14 AM   #26  
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Aside from the fact that you're involved with a married man...if he wants to discuss it, suggest a netbook. Laptops aren't as expensive as they once were, and you can get a small, portable one with long battery life that's typically classified as a "netbook" for $400. Still steep for a first gift in a two-month "relationship", partner being married or not, but more reasonable.
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Old Aug 25, 2009, 06:26 AM   #27  
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Quote:
I am not planning to get married in the near future or make him divorce. It is solely his own business and decision and I am definitely not ruining his marriage!
Oh, boy. You have no ground rules. You are seeing a wrong guy. Are you OK to see a guy who is still married, call him bf, and ask a gift and rejected? How low can you go further from here? Do you still plan to see him while he is not planning to divorce soon, and visit his home town to encounter his wife as mistress? Are you out of mind? A separated guy does not mean he is single. He is legally married, and has wife!

Do you know, whatever you say, you completely act like an escort girl who is providing a love service to a married man for money? Please have some class and self esteem as a lady. Even though he has Brad Pitt looks with Donald Trump money power, I will not even consider to date him for a minute (if I am still single) if he is married.

Why is the money so important to you? Are you desperately poor and cannot make enough money to support yourself? Stop living like a mistress to only insult yourself. Please look hard yourself, accept your mistake, and change yourself to a real lady ASAP. There are plenty of nice single guys out there looking for decent girls.

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talaniman agrees: I love your reality checks, lol!
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Old Aug 25, 2009, 07:17 PM   #28  
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Quote:
He didn't refuse to buy the laptop, i misunderstood him as we were emailing each other and got lost in translation.
He is your boyfriend, he can't even call you. Has to email you, what kind of relationship is that?

Maybe he can't talk to you b.c. his wife is sitting next to him...? Or maybe he can't afford paying his cell bill?

What makes OP, you believe he doesn't live with her any more?

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amicon agrees: good points.
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