my bf hit me once. will he do it again

Wondergirl · Jun 11, 2012, 11:18 PM

Please tell you what to do? You and I both know what you should do. The second time he hits you will be even easier for him. Don't let there be a second time.

divineangel82 · Jun 11, 2012, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Please tell you what to do? You and I both know what you should do. The second time he hits you will be even easier for him. Don't let there be a second time.

I know what you mean. he was smashing his fist on the car's steering wheel and i shudder at the thot of what if that wheel was my face. He wants me to stay home, stop partying, not wear v-necks..and always thinks i will sleep with the next guy i meet.

Wondergirl · Jun 11, 2012, 11:37 PM

How will he change his life for you?

divineangel82 · Jun 11, 2012, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How will he change his life for you?

He wont change his life for m,e. He says he will love all his life. But his demands for me to behave the way he wants me to is unreal. He said if i marry you u wont be able to take care of my family if u have a career. basically he wants to me to cut off all routes where he cannot keep an eye on me. He wants to know whch guy i talk to? y i talk? if i have left the mall or work y havent i informed or called him and if i am on another call, he will throw a fit and accusse me. if am out for lunch with friends or office workers, he will try to be uinderstanding, but enquire who all are goin and is not happy if a male co-worker comes along...

Wondergirl · Jun 11, 2012, 11:56 PM

Do you know why he is so insecure? Was he molested or abused as a child? Is something messed up with the love that he got as a child?

He in turn, to be fair to you, needs to wear a three-piece suit every day, brush his teeth only with Colgate toothpaste, wear boxers with red hearts on them, and attend the local Lutheran church with you every Sunday morning, go to adult Bible class with you, and also attend church on Wednesday evenings during Lent and Advent.

divineangel82 · Jun 12, 2012, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Do you know why he is so insecure? Was he molested or abused as a child? Is something messed up with the love that he got as a child?

He in turn, to be fair to you, needs to wear a three-piece suit every day, brush his teeth only with Colgate toothpaste, wear boxers with red hearts on them, and attend the local Lutheran church with you every Sunday morning, go to adult Bible class with you, and also attend church on Wednesday evenings during Lent and Advent.

He hails from a decent family..But i think the reason for his insecurity cud prob be his last relationship where he claims hi gf got engaged and informed him of the same after her engagement....i have told him many times to get over his past, but he does not agree that thats his problem...and he has used name calling manyatimes such as u slut etc and when i tried to break it off with him, he wud send txt msgs accussing me of already having another guy in my life so am not bothered. Jus 4 days before my B'day (in may), the one week i told him to not fight with me, he accussed me of lying to him as he checked my fb wall and said i had checked in to a retaurant in feb this year and though at that time we were not on talking terms coz of one of these fights itself, he said am sure u nwent out with another guy and lied to me....

Wondergirl · Jun 12, 2012, 12:11 AM

Hmmm, it's hard to believe the situation with his ex would turn him into a controlling abuser. There has to be more to this that he's not considering or wanting to think about.

Well, you apparently can't haul him into counseling, so how are you going to handle this?

***ADDED**** It's after 2 a.m. here, so I'm going to bed. Post your response if you wish, and I will see it in the morning.

divineangel82 · Jun 12, 2012, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Hmmm, it's hard to believe the situation with his ex would turn him into a controlling abuser. There has to be more to this that he's not considering or wanting to think about.

Well, you apparently can't haul him into counseling, so how are you going to handle this?

***ADDED**** It's after 2 a.m. here, so I'm going to bed. Post your response if you wish, and I will see it in the morning.

I dont know what other reason cud be the reason for this. He is prob one of those men who wants all to himself. His woman his way. Trying to be the alpha male and my independence is basicaaly making him feel inferior coz i am more educated and sophisticated than him. We have stopped talking since the past 4 days when he slapped me and i refused to let him in my house...have blocked him from my whatsapp also and del his numbers..coz i honestly am scared and do not know how to handle him and the dangerous actions of his..
Have a good night's sleep.. :-))

WisperWill70 · Jun 12, 2012, 12:27 AM

It doesn't matter why he has controlling, possessive behaviour.... don't waste time trying to figure it our or decipher whether his ex caused some undue trauma to his psyche... the bottom line is that you have taken the right actions to protect yourself, - distancing from him and leaving! There is ALWAYS a next time, there is always deep insecurity and it often escalates from slap to punch to worse.

Stay strong and do not allow his predictable "Sorry" (I'm so sorry, if only you give me a chance") sweet talk to change your focus on yourself. If you don't want to be in an abusive relationship you need to stay away.

my bf hit me once. will he do it again

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