My bf and I started dating 2 years ago but things didnt work out so we called it off. We recently started working things out again and i just found out that during the break up he slept with another woman who had a bf and there is a possibility that the baby is his. He claims that he does not love her, that it was just a one time deal. I truly love him and he says that he loves me too. He wants to marry me but I am not ready. I feel like it would be extremely difficult to be with a person who has a child with another woman. Should I let him go? Or should I hang in there with him during this time?

saraispiel19

i sαy you should let him go.. but it αlso depends on how you found out αbout this kid?--did he tell you (when you found out or he confronted you?) chαnces αre if you found out on your own or if he told you when you did he'll lie to you αbout αnything... just remember if you stαy with him you still hαve to deαl with his bαbymommα αnd the kid..

Nosnosna

First of all, it's up to you whether you can deal with that part of his life. It's possible that the only effect this will have on him is child support payments... it's also possible that he'll take full advantage of his visitation and be a major part of the child's life. But that's up to him, not you. And that will be up to him for the next 18 years... don't waste both of your time if you're not ready to handle that possibility.

Second, it doesn't sound like this guy is marriage material anyway... it's never a good sign for a guy to be in a situation where he may or may not be the father of a child. Maybe he didn't know the girl had a boyfriend, though... we don't know anything about that part of the story.

Third, making a decision based on a maybe is somewhat premature... if you really do love this person, don't decide to drop him over the kid issue until you know it's his. You may end up without anything to worry about.

Finally, you have to be completely 100% honest with yourself: are you concerned because he may have a child, or is it because he may have gotten the girl pregnant while you were broken up? If it's the former, I'd say you've pretty much answered your own question. If it's the latter... well, that's nothing short of being a jerk.

Talk with him, and figure things out for the two of you. Even if all you figure out is that you need to wait until you know for sure that it's his kid before figuring things out, you need to do that. And he needs to know the reasons... if you care about him, he deserves that kind of honesty from you.

Wildcat21

Let him go. Rememeber why it was broken before.

talaniman

If there is no communication there is no relationship. You had both better stay apart and have an honest discussion on where you both are headed and should probably hold off until your sure whose baby this is. No hurry, just wait as children are a life altering event and the last thing you need is be someone elses baby sitter. Before you ask, yes men with kids do get a woman who is willing to babysit. Food fot thought.