I guess the only way to get the best feedback is to be completely honest. I met Stephanie 3.5 years ago and we bonded over significant break ups at the same time. I broke up with my first love and the girl I thought I would marry and she broke up with the man she thought she would marry. I guess we were able to comfort each other and we became fast friends, great friends.

Within a month or two, she was in another relationship and a year later she was engaged. She definitely didn't love the guy and I don't know why she said yes. I was there when he proposed and she freaked out, turned white, said yes, and turned and ran. It was pretty bad. She had always confided in me and she told me earlier that day that she didn't want to marry him. Since then, they have broke up and gotten back together several times, they always fight, they both have said they don't want to get married, and they have canceled about 3 wedding dates and currently have none. They've been living together over two years now though and have many mutual financial obligations.

Getting close to a year ago now, her and I were hanging out and she kissed me. She told me that she didn't know what she wanted or expected, but that she had feelings for me. I told her that I had feelings for her, but she had to choose between us. She said she understood that. The slope was slippery and it got the best of us and for two months or so, we were romantically involved. I tried to cut it off first, but couldn't. So she did. We still talked a lot, but we stopped being physical. We both knew it was wrong since she was still engaged.

Now, we still aren't being physical, but we see each other everyday. She says that she loves me the best she knows how, but she fears letting anyone too close. She thinks she'll get hurt and she doesn't need anyone but herself. She won't leave her fiance because it's convenient with the bills and she doesn't have to worry about things getting too close (they are very unaffectionate). It's been like this for awhile, but now it's getting worse.

She's pushing me away harder and harder, yet telling me that I'm her best friend and that she has strong feelings for me. But it's not just me, she's pushing away her family, her girlfriends, and she's even pushing her fiance away harder now. She doesn't seem to care about anyone or anything anymore. I would say she's in the middle of depression, but I'm no expert. She used to be warm and fairly emotional and she's becoming colder and more apathetic. She recently told me that she doesn't have any hope in the future or anyone around her. She's given up on everyone. I asked her what I did to deserve this, and she said nothing, just that she has some real issues with attachment.

She also sleeps more, doesn't enjoy her old hobbies, and is always tired. All she talks about is how busy and stressful her life is and how she never has time to do anything. But when I see her have time, she won't do anything because it's too much effort.

So, I guess my question is this... I love her very much and don't expect to be with her anytime soon and realize maybe never. But I am her best friend and want to help her. It seems the more I encourage her and try to support her, the less she responds. But this is true of other people in her life that don't try to encourage or support her. How do I help her? How do I get through to her?