Best friend tells me this?

LOL, he seems quite confident in his pursuit of you but if you are not interested then tell your best friend to forget dating, and romance, or leave you alone. Same friend you posted about before right?

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...le-613065.html

yes yes lol heres a more detailed description of it...sorry for posting so much lol

i do not find him attractive. i do not see him as boyfriend material and i only see him as a friend nothing more.

we were discussing this yesturday . i told him all of this and that whenever we hung out that he became painfully akward to the point that it got me akward and he lacked confidence. he said that part of it was my fault for being so unresponsive with him. and that it got to him for awhile. that i played a part in his lack of confidence after a long time of me being unresponsive toward him. he also said as for akwardness it stems from his past relationships with girls hes liked and their not pretty.

so he tenses up when he worries if hes doing something wrong with a girl.he says that he plans to get over that being more open with me. he says when hes around our group of friends hes akward and shy,but if we were at "appropriate setting" then he will be able to be his full self. i told him that i have been honest with him and the reason i havent responded at all is because im not interested. he says that it might change if hes able to be his full self with me. that if he shows this "romantic" side ill think hes bf material or that ill be interested. at that point i agreed because i didnt know what to say or do. hes says that he has a feeling that we'd be fine for each other if he can overcome his insecurities and that only time can tell.

*sigh* it seems that me telling him that im not interested is not getting in his head. im confused because its sweet but at the same time i can not be in that one on one setting so he can be "open" because my feelings arent mutual with his. i would feel weird. what hes trying to do is nice and all but i just do not know what to do. hes 21 and im 20. any advice on what i can say or do? i told another friend a mine this situation and he says that im gonna loose as a friend if i do not give him a chance and that hes the perfect guy for me because he knows me very well. still, i dont see him that way.

Then you tell him he can no longer be your friend because he is a single minded disrespectful idiot.

Thats exactly what he is you know!

single minded? lol well we have know each other for five years. hes a good friend its just that he thinks that by showing this side of his that iam going to be interested but.. hes just in denial right? i told him that he should date other girls but he says he has feelings for me and only for me. this is such a mess. lol

Absolutely! He needs to gain self-confidence from himself, not you. Stay away from emotional vampires. They drain your energy from you. YOu get tired and then you loose yourself in them to fulfill their emotional needs that you forget who you are in the world!

He sounds a bit immature.
Tell him if he wants to continue being friends with you, he needs to accept that is all there is and cut out that kind of talk.

yea! guys thats what i think. he needs to gain self confidence but he does not really understand because hes so songle minded that anything that i say is just worthless lol im tired of guys and their insecurities and its wierd because those are the only guys that i feel are after me. he thinks he can get over his insecurities starting a relationship with me thats just wrong lol

This is going to be a long post and sorry for grammar errors.. LOL

*sigh* ok to recap I have a best friend I've known for 5 years that likes me. He has developed feelings for me these past 2 to 3 years and he's 21 and I'm 20. Every time we hang out we enjoy each others company. We make each other laugh and we are comfortable with each other when we talk about personal issues especially this issue I'm going to talk about now.

Yesterday I invited him over to fix my computer since he offered and I know he's good with computers. We hung out and played video games. I noticed that wherever I would sit he would sit and when he wants to get even closer he puts his head on my shoulder making me feel awkward. That's not to say it feels nice but still awkward. I say awkward because I do not like him. I have no interest in him so that's why when he does those little things it can feel awkward. When I told him that I was feeling awkward he asked me why and I told him for us to go on a walk so I can explain why and we did.

I told him the reason (dont like him, not interested) and he started to understand why I felt that way. He then told me if I had anything else to say and I told him about what he said to me before about his insecurities and his lack of confidence which I talked about in my last post. I told him what he said to me about me being partly to blame because I was being unresponsive toward his "flirty acts" and I told him that was kind of a cop-out. He says no because he is trying to take responsibility toward his confidence but that when it comes to me he does not want to do anything wrong toward me. Like say something wrong or do something wrong unless I gave him the opportunity to do any of those things. And if I did he would hold his head up high knowing that he is doing the right thing. I told him that was fine but I have not given him the opportunity because I do not like him.

I told him that recently I got out of a relationship and I wanted to take some time for myself and figure out what I want in a guy and to figure out who I am in life and mature a bit more. He said it was fine and that I told him this before but he asked me if I really did have at least a slight interest in him. I told him no and he explained to me why that may not be the answer. He started to tell me that he's noticed me flirting with him genuinely. He says its on and off but that when we have our moments we both start flirting with each other and that its not just honest flirting but genuine. He also tells me that this has happened before but that at the same time I'm telling him that I'm not interested in him.

I have never heard him tell me this before when we would hang out ever. Now he is telling me that I tend to flirt with him on and off. I told him that perhaps it just happens and I'm not aware of it. He says its still genuine and I may have a slight interest in him after all to put it shortly. He asked me if I did have a slight interest because of what he just said and I told him that I still need time to figure out somethings in my life and that I am not sure if there is ever going to be and "us".

Again I told him that I want to focus more on myself and that I could not really answer that question right now. He still asks for an answer and I eventually said I may have a slight interest. I still told him though that I was not sure about that because I am not interested in him entirely and that we both have conflicts with ourselves. (him and his confidence and me with what I want in a guy) and we eventually ended the conversation there.

There was more to the conversation but it was really late I do not remember all of it but I said the important stuff. He wanted to ask for a kiss and I said no and he understood. We hugged and he left home. There are still somethings I don't understand..

1.can someone be in a relationship with slight interest?
2.is "genuine" flirting mean that I like him even though I say I don't?

I'm kind of confused. What he just said put me in a confused position. Its the first time he has ever told me and explained this to me. I mean maybe I supposedly flirt because I feel alone since I broke up with someone and I am replacing the feeling of having a guy with my best friend. Its weird but I guess that could be it. And I know its stupid and wrong because in a way I'm taking advantage of the fact that he likes me so I flirt back but before me and my best friend had this conversation I kept telling myself I was not going to flirt with anyone if I am not interested in anyone. Then I make the mistake and do but since he tells me its happened before I really do not know what to think.

What do you guys think of this? Can anything be done or said to him? Thanks guys....

Its a simple fix, say no way, mean it, and stick to it. The whole problem is he isn't taking no for an answer, and you are easily confused by his passive aggressive behavior.

He knows what he is doing, wearing you down, and confusing you, yet you for some strange reason cannot just stick to your guns. You talk to much, just say NO!!

But I think you must have a lousy life and need the attention from him, awkward or not, because most females that get unwanted attention from male friends, exile them from their lives until they get that they are crossing a line. Not you, you just keep explaining, and he keeps a coming.

Say NO!! Mean it, And don't be bullied. Boy do you need more friends!!!