hi everyone, iv enever really posted on websites before but ive been doing a lot of thinking and i have way too much time on my hands at work so here goes....

me and my girlfriend have been dating for just under 2 years and it has been the most fullfilling and loving relationship i have ever had, i can probably count on my fingers all the nights we have slept in separate beds. we fight and bicker, yea so does everyone else but never have either of us uttered the words "break" or "break-up" ever because we both never wanted it. i dont want to toot my own horn but i strive myself on being a really great guy and i really think i am, im sure i have my faults but who doesnt. i have listened to too many girls complain about guys so i try my hardest to not make the mistakes i hear other guys make. so thats just a little back story b4 i get to the problem. i have been reading a lot of posts and i feel like my situation is similar but i finally figured id ask myself. like i said it was great for almost two years and in my mind there was absolutly nothing wrong, i got no signals no hints that i had anything to worry about and then all of the sudden out of the blue when she calls me while shes at work to ask about something else she all the sudden asks if there is something wrong with us. i am like WOAH! did not see that coming and she starts to get upset and says she didnt want to have the conversation then but she started it and as im asking why do u feel that way all i get is i dont know i dont know. and dont think im some psyco who started screaming at her and saying u must be cheating, no i am a very rational person and try to talk about it calmy but she starts crying saying shes confused and asking why im not sounding upset and its because i was still in such shock that this was even happening and i told her all of this. so she has to go back to work and im going crazy at this point because shes saying we need a break cause we are drifting. now to me that kind of seems like a step backwards dont you think? if we say too much of each other that means break but if your drifting apart u need to sit down and talk about but she wanted to skip all that and just go on a break. see now i strongly beleive that all problems big and small need to be addressed and talked over because just burying or ignoring things only makes them worse when they happen again. well anyways i saw ok lets try that if its what u really want i tell her whatever she needs just let me know and keep me informed if she needs too. so we go on our break and me wanting to kinda have her lean in the right direction i raced out and grabbed some flowers and a vase and took it to her house and cut them and put them in her room with a not that say no matter what u know i love u and tha will never change no matter what, ill see you around. and i left it at that i didnt want to smother her or cloud her thinking but i wanted to show her i wasnt mad at her and i still loved her, good right? well a lot of horrible sh** happened later that night which is a completely diff. story, lets just say in was in the wrong place at the wrong time and it was the first time ive ever had a gun in my face, and been in handcuffs. so that whole ordeal ends around 1 am and im outta my mind and just couldnt help seeing her so i called and if she didnt pick up on one try i wasnt gonna bother but she actually did and i asked if it was ok to come over and she said yes so i went over a told her all about it and she said aside from us are u ok so i was happy she still could put that aside and care for me but when we got back to us, all i got was i dunno i dunno still which is much worse because i would rather know whats going on and deal with the worst if that is what the case may be rather than be in the dark and deal with the pain. so after getting nowhere i said i was sorry for bothering her and i was gonna sleep at my house and she pulled the iddint tell u to do that so i replied u didnt tell me not to tryin to be tuff but not an a-hole.so she goes out and does her thing the next day and i do mine and of course my like i end up seeing here and my friend at a gas station and i had to pull in to make sure he was ok after what happened the night b4 i had no intentions of approaching her. so when i talk to him he tells me shes been talking all about me and how she is so stupid and made a mistake and wants to make it better but i was not told this i had to hear it from my boy but it did make me feel better. so she finally says i wanna see u later ill come over in an hour so i say ok. so after awkwardness all night and her little feeble attempts to be nice and make up for it late late that night she says shes sorry and stupid and wants us to forget about it. how can i forget about it when i didnt even know why in the first place u know? so i ask why the mind change she can tell me the truth blah blah and she says we been together so long and she just started thinking about it, so im thinking if u just started thinking about it and went straight to a break after never even thinking about a break b4, there must be something else shes not telling me but i let it go because im just happy that things are better and i figure well talk about it later. well later never came 2 days later she blew me off for 10 hrs, thats 10 hrs ppl she has never done anything like that to me b4 and neither have i ever, so im thinkin there must be something seriously messed up here but i have to keep my cool because the last thing i want to do is become some psyco boyfriend. finally after 10 hrs of phone tag and shallow promises of only 45 min and ill be over she calls me and says hey come to a party. so i get there and shes gettin into a bathing suit and hops into a jacuzzi and has already thrown a few back. and i walk in thinkin after all i was put through today ur just gonna party and not at least talk to me. so i brush it off and just play it cool all night and she keeps getting the audacity to say "hey whats wrong?" and obviously she knows but does nothing to fix it so long story short (no pun intended for those of u who actually got this far, bless your heart) i say whatever and leave and go to bed. the next day i say she needs to come talk to me because she decided to spend the night at this hotel with all my friends and a few ppl i dont know, im obviously not happy about that, and yet she refuses to talk to me so i say alright ive had enough of being in the dark if u dont wanna talk u dont want this relationship so she finally comes to talk and we go on and onand she finally decides she wants to be back with me full time no hard feelings and i agree because i love her more than anything. so there is the whole back story and now its like every other day she is a total b**** to me and on the others she is absolutly in love with me so im going crazy cuz its like she only loves me when she wants to. bottom line im goin crazy with stress cuz of my whole personal life and she sees it but does nothing about it and thats what makes it worse. so ive gotten to the point where i think she still has mixed feelings but doesnt want to talk.

first of all u are the greatest listener ever if u actually read that novel but if anyone has any input let me know but just writing the whole thing down made me feel much much better than just saying it so even if noone actually makes it through my babbling just venting on here was an amzing help. well maybe ill hear from somebody.

bye

Ladyviper

This is what I think, and this is just my opinion. I am not going to say she is cheating on you, but I wouldn't rule it out completely. I am commitment phobic and I can tell you after a couple years of contentment I go crazy. I will go out and party, totally disregard the other person's feelings, and just do my own thing. I will stop answering for the things I have done, and avoid confrontation. I will get crabby, and I will avoid spending my time with you. I will also find a new goup of people to hang with, that will allow me to keep it loose. They sound like classic signs of commitment phobia or contentment resentment, which I am guilty of both. I hope this helps!

MissingHim2Much

Sorry about this and i'm not trying to horn in on this post, But what is contentment resentment? Sorry if thats a stupid question but I've never heard of it. Please explain.

enigmagnetic

Sounds like a Led Zeppelin song.

Ladyviper

It is a term I coined to describe the feelings I get when I am content in a relationship. I am not striving to be content with my life, I am striving to be happy. Once I am content for too long, I start to resent the fact that I am not as happy as I want to be. Think of it as being stuck in a rut and you start to resent what are otherwise relationship normalcies.

MissingHim2Much

Gotcha...thanks ladyviper.