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Maybe im just in a bad mood tonight..but, it seems like being nice is the wrong thing to do in almost ever situation.
I would describve myself as a nice guy, have been for as long as I can remember. I do not enjoy confrontation, though I will engage if I must. I like to debate, though I hate arguments and fighting...senseless if you ask me. I would also not do anything to intentionally cause harm to anyone, and carry very few grudges/enemies.
I am annoyed tonight beucase it seems that all this niceness gets me nowhere. I figured that its what most people, and women, would want. Why wouldn't they want someone who will be nice to them, and to care for them???
I find myself in question, thinking that the reason I am no longer with my ex girlfriend is because I was too nice, and she had lost interest in me. I also seem to find it strange that the friends of mine which are seen as attractive to most women, are the a**holes.
Could it just be my age (20), and when I get older the women will be more mature? I hate to think that I have to be an jerk to people in order to get anywhere in life. I understand that there is a difference between being nice and being a push over, and I would not consider myself one who is easily pushed over. When I want something, i will do whatever i have to do to get it, I dont allow myself to be pushed aside easily...
Maybe im just upset tonight, and I need someone to hear me yell...I dont know..
I was too nice, too there for her, look where it got me! I have learnt a valuable lesson. The summary of my findings: You have a life, she is only part of it.
Well my fiance is a VERY nice, caring and good guy. He isn't a whimp. If he needed to defend me he certainly would. I don't want to be with a guy for his looks or body. I want his mind, and heart. That's the true sexiness. I think Syper needs to keep looking for a sweet girl to show him what love and true love is like. Not all women-none of the girls i kno want a rude and mean bf. They want someone who is independant, strong but yet can show his emotions. If you think all women want an arss grow up a bit. And if you think looks are everything its really time to grow up. Looks aren't the most important. Mind and heart are, and that's a fact. Maybe syper just needs to be single for awhile and realize what a real relationship is supossed to be. Stay who you are, plenty of REAL women wnat a man like you.
First off - I take offense to the fact that you tell me I need to grow up and realize what a relationship is. I believe I have a very good understanding of what a relationship is, I just dont undrerstand some of the obvious patterns i see in everyday life.
Secondly - I never once said that I think all women want an as*hole. If you reread my post, it was about me not understand why many women feel that way. It seems to me that a lot of the women i see in soceity are attracted to the "tough guy" attitude. Trust me, im not ignorant enough to catagorize 'All Women'.
Make no mistake, I have no intention of getting into another relationship now. There is no reason for me to rush into something now, I have plenty of time to worry aobut that later. I was simply looking for advice, and maybe someone else's viewpoint, as mine was not getting me anywhere...
I know what your saying and im sorry that you took what i siad the way you did. I ment no offense. I was replying to what Wildcat said. I never told YOU to grow up. I said if that's what you all think then grow up a bit. In truth, make's sense. If anyone thinks those things they do need to grow up. I know you never said that you thought all girl's want an arss. I never said that. I'm saying that just b/c one chick doesn't make a good match with you and you may have had bad relations, fact is there is hope and i think if you look at it differently you'll see that. All i'm hearing is that all girl's like bad-arsses, or that we all want a hottie. Sry, but that offens me Wildcat. Anyway, like i said you heard me wrong read it slowly so to understand it more clearly. U'm only trying to help. I feel like your too worried about being Mr. Right in a chick's eyes then being true to yourself. I'm feeling like your not sure you like being nice b/c it's not getting you anywhere and i think that's a bad thing to think. You may be alone if that's truely how it is. A real women meaning a good chick who has morels and smarts and all round good package, wants a nice guy who treats her w/ respect. It's good to be single for awhile, get a better look at yourself. But be who you are, don't turn into a jerk per say. You seem nice, stay that way.
Hi sypher373
Not good hey.. having a miserable moment is just as normal as an angry moment..
But its noble of you to come back and share..
Do you remember in school the old saying of "it's always a handful of rotten ones that spoil it for the good ones" ?
Well in life it seems more like, "it's always a handful of good ones that spoils it for the rotten ones.."
Everything will always get better because theres good people out there still!
You do reap what you sow and those woman you have dated that have lost interest are just that, simply not interested in a good guy..
Please dont dwell on what you dont have but instead consentrate on the better future that lies ahead due largely to the fact you recognised you deserve better..
I would suggest that Miss Right just hasnt appeared yet, so you must prepare your head and your heart to be ready for her love when she does come on scene.. We would hate to see you miss a wonderful oppertunity like that!
Maybe im just in a bad mood tonight..but, it seems like being nice is the wrong thing to do in almost ever situation.
I would describve myself as a nice guy, have been for as long as I can remember. I do not enjoy confrontation, though I will engage if I must. I like to debate, though I hate arguments and fighting...senseless if you ask me. I would also not do anything to intentionally cause harm to anyone, and carry very few grudges/enemies.
I am annoyed tonight beucase it seems that all this niceness gets me nowhere. I figured that its what most people, and women, would want. Why wouldn't they want someone who will be nice to them, and to care for them???
I find myself in question, thinking that the reason I am no longer with my ex girlfriend is because I was too nice, and she had lost interest in me. I also seem to find it strange that the friends of mine which are seen as attractive to most women, are the a**holes.
Could it just be my age (20), and when I get older the women will be more mature? I hate to think that I have to be an jerk to people in order to get anywhere in life. I understand that there is a difference between being nice and being a push over, and I would not consider myself one who is easily pushed over. When I want something, i will do whatever i have to do to get it, I dont allow myself to be pushed aside easily...
Maybe im just upset tonight, and I need someone to hear me yell...I dont know..
I give up
In the experiences that I have had I see what you're saying. I'm not always like this and Im not trying to put anything in your head like changing yourself but in some cases women like security. Sort of like a thug and not even that deep just a "take no " type of person. It is very immature but its just a front. You should try to hang around different type of people or hang out in places you usually dont. Im not trying to disrespect our friends but that could be it. If you're making yourself out to be who you say you are then it wont be long and you should look for a more mature crowd. Other than that, you're mad young. Dont look for a wife just yet..lol. You'll be good.
Your saying nice don't get you anywhere?..your wrong, what if your were one of those people that go around just snapping at others? you would not have the friends you do.
As far as being a bad guy with women forget it because most women that are mature don't go for the tough guy that treat women wrong.
So you got an ex-girlfriend that done you wrong..maybe if you looked at it this way you would feel different..perhaps later if the two of you got married whats to say she would be a wife who did nothing but lay around eating bon bons and there you were busting your behind while all she did was complain...then there is the girl of your dreams the one that was meant for you and here you were tied to the one you resented.
Syper - you have a lot to learn. And yes a lot of growing up to do.
Wildcat,
I understand I have a lot to learn. I have only had one serious relationship which I am in the process of getting out of, though I would like to ask why exactly you think I have a lot of growing up to do.
I can't help but feel that your personally attacking me, though im sure what you say is for the best. Based on the nature of most of your responses i know i shouldn't take offense to this, I would just like to know what it is that leads you to think that I am immature and need to grow up?
you will find a woman one day who wants a nice guy, have you tried just being friends with girls, making them laugh? I have met a lot of a holes in my time and it is only now in my current relationship that i found a 'nice' guy and i thank my lucky stars for him. i think it is attractive to be independant but courteous, be sure of yourself but willing to listen. Maybe you have just been unlucky with the women you have met, also if they are your age then they are probably looking for excitement and not settling down
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