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Originally Posted by WayBackHome  Hmm...so it really boils down to "you can't be friends with everyone". I know that this applies after you've attempted to be friends. There's no attempt here. |
Hi Wayback,
Yes. You can't be friends with anyone you select out of crowd. Friendship is definitely a two-way street. Not everyone wants to attempt to be friendly with anyone who approaches them. There's a lot you can tell about someone in just a few seconds and some people make snap decisions. This isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Another reason someone (male or female) might reject a friendly overture is that they just have too much going in their life at that moment and are not currently open to new friendships. This can happen if they are feeling stressed (work, a death in the family, etc). Or maybe they are about the move. Or they are depressed. Or maybe they just have too many friends!
There are SO Many reasons. So there's no need to take it personally. (Of course, they might also have pegged you for the "wrong" type, whether correctly or incorrectly.) Either way, you can't really do anything about it. I mean you could keep trying and they might change their mind, but why would you push yourself on someone when there are 6.5 billion people in the world?
I get the feeling that's the question you are asking yourself...
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Originally Posted by WayBackHome Why do I expect her to want to be friends though? Is that just my ego/confident self? (despite what the threads might indicate, I'm a pretty confident person now). |
No. It's not ego or confidence. It's entitlement. Somewhere you learned, probably at home, that people are supposed to give you what you want. A little entitlement is a good thing. You need it to succeed in the work place. It's what lets you ask for a raise or negotiate higher pay for your first job. In general, men feel more entitlement than women, and they are much better at getting raises and other good things--on average. (Obviously, there are exceptions.)
Also, some men--and you may or may not be one of them-- feel more entitlement when it comes to women. They feel that women are supposed to fill their needs. I don't know you, but it's possible that you feel somehow that this person is supposed to do that and has let you down--even though she doesn't know you. To be clear, I don't know that. I'm just exploring one reason why you might feel as if she is not doing her part. If you feel excessively entitled when it comes to women--i.e., that they are there to fulfill your needs and wants--then that's something you should work on, because it leads to very destructive relationships.
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