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Basic background is that my girlfriend of almost 3 years suddenly came to the conclusion that she was unhappy and needed "to take time apart" and re-evaluate our relationship.....which sounded a lot like a breakup to me. It was so hard at first but I decided going NC was best for me to figure myself out in the mean time and I really have become so much stronger.
At this point, I feel she's probably nervous to talk to me b/c I basically fell off the face of the earth (no AIM, myspace, etc.). Either way, it's been a month and I want to meet with her so badly and talk. I feel the cause of this was I was needy for a while and I sort of made her my world as opposed to being a big PART of my life. Of course I accentuated this feeling at the time of our break b/c I was overcome with emotion. Also our relationship got too comfortable and we lost that excitement. But in the mean time I have stayed very aloof and independent, so I don't think she has any idea what's going on with me....which is good b/c I discovered that time to myself was actually a great thing for a while.
I love this girl so much and I want her to know how much I love her. I feel like I want to send her flowers before we do meet up. Is this a needy thing to do or does it show love? All I want is for her to see me for what I am now and how much I have learned (by showing her of course). I fear all she knows is what used to be....but I genuinely feel like such a better person that it's obviously benefiting me, and I know it could springboard our relationship to something more special than it's ever been. I see this separation as a blessing in disguise....but being in NC for a month now, I feel things are probably awkward (at least for her) in even talking again at this point. What should I do????
First congrats on beginning the "bettering yourself" process, however such a small amount of time has passed for any real changes. When I read you message, it seems that this distant thing really wasn't your idea? Could be wrong and doesn't really matter. But it appears the reason you are trying to "better yourself" is only for this specific girl; however, the only way you will really better yourself is when you realize that you need to do this for you. Rushing back into something that isn't working gets you nothings, but taking the time to realize you weakness and improve yourself will last you a lifetime!!!
Location: United Kingdom - usually cold and wet here!
Posts: 1,276
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrussole
From my perspective, he is playing games. If he doesn't show affection, he probably isn't going to get any in return in the long run. He is probably in his 20's. And girls his age usually move on if they don't receive what they want in a relationship. Show her that you care, don't play games. Because if she has half a brain she'll move on to someone else who can give her what she needs. I can't tell you have many toads I had to go thru in order to find my prince. But he was well worth the wait.
Location: United Kingdom - usually cold and wet here!
Posts: 1,276
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrussole
From my perspective, he is playing games. If he doesn't show affection, he probably isn't going to get any in return in the long run. He is probably in his 20's. And girls his age usually move on if they don't receive what they want in a relationship. Show her that you care, don't play games. Because if she has half a brain she'll move on to someone else who can give her what she needs. I can't tell you have many toads I had to go thru in order to find my prince. But he was well worth the wait.
I have a question though, what if the woman gives up a prince because she prefers a toad because she never experienced one?
It was a popular myth in the old days that you can get warts from toads. Its not true, we know that’s bogus- nowadays. Warts are actually benign tumors of the epidermis caused by a virus. The virus responsible is the human papillomavirus, a double-stranded DNA-virus. Which isn't very good at all in my opinion. I don't like warts! There ugly.
But why give up a prince when they are hard to find? While toads are everywhere! Look in any muddy smelly lake. They're there. Whereby a prince, they may be hard to find, but priceless and precious to find. Sort of like fishing in the ocean. You want a great catch, so you have to throw the littles ones back in, until you get lucky enough and catch the big and best one. LOL.
I'd wait for her to contact you. If she decides that she misses you she will. Then you can show her how you've changed and not be so needy and clingy the next time around. Yes, she is only a part of your life, not your whole life.
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