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I need to help my boyfriend but I don't know how... he had two friends commit suicide one week from each other about 9 months ago, well, lately he's been going to the grave, drinking, and crying. These were like brothers to him. He talks to me and I do my best, but yesterday I had to call the cops and get him to a hospital because he put a gun to his head (locked&loaded) before he left he looked at me like I was the worst person in the world..he even took my key and I was stuck outside from 3am-11am (had manager open door) but I don't know why he's mad, I just wanted to help. Did I do a bad thing by calling the cops?? I'm not sure, I love him and we plan to get married one day but I don't know if I can handle this. He's still at the hospital but I know him, he's just telling them what they want to hear..What should I do?? If it matters or helps, they were 20-21yrs old, he's 21
I think he needs to go to a center were they can help him kind of like rehab. You need to get him help. Have you talk to his parents? Or anyone in his family about this? You shouldn't have to deal with this problem alone. How did his friends die?
You did the absolute right thing, and may have saved his life. He is ill, and needs help, but not from you. You've done the good deed, the rest is up to him, and you need to steer clear, for the sake of you both.
Suicide is like paranoia-they are both contagious if not kept in check. Your boyfriend probably should have sought counseling immediately after the death of his friends, and like most people, probably didn't want to talk about it with anyone. The biggest thing with preventing suicide is that people don't feel like they are all alone. Often suicidal people will lash out at loved ones because they want to run everyone off-just so they can die alone. Don't let him be alone. Make him realize that suicide is just quitting because life got hard to understand. He needs to get help, and you need help helping him. Get proffesionals involved as quickly as possible. Also, as many friends and family as you can.
well he talked to some doctors, but he told them lies just so he could get out of there faster, he lied about drinking, drug use (past) and blamed me for him being there, said I get a little crazy when i drink, he also told them he never took out the gun, he only said he would, but i was there, he had it to his head, i knocked it out of his hand..he thinks he is fine, now he's home and drinking again, he said he wants to act like it never happened??? What am i suppose to do if he doesn't want help?
Leave him alone, and stay away from him. Its not your job to babysit him, and traumatise yourself, while he engages in negative behavior. Where is his family?
his family is here in town, i tried to talk to him last night, but he said he cant talk to me cuz i didn't know his friends that passed, and then said he couldnt talk to the ones that did cuz there his "boys"
Tell him to cut the childish BS and grow up. If he wont talk to you or his family you need to talk to his family. If you love him try to help.........if you truely dont.........get away. At 21 he is still a kid.......You stepping in to knock a gun from his hands will get you killed....be strong and dont baby him. In 1987 I had 7, yes I said seven, classmates commit suicide. 2 guys by guns, 1 buy hanging and four girls left a car run in a garage a died together. It hurt and I felt so bad, however I never put a gun to my head. You need to protect yourself first.
Mike
i do love him and want to help, he is now in a mood, he said he doesnt feel the same, because i sent him to the mental ward and now he thinks there might be something wrong, he said its my fault i didnt have to send him there, was it a bad choice to call the cops? he said he would never do that to me. He said he's never had a girl do that to him and because of me he will have this memory, it made me feel so bad i cried, and now i can' sleep because all i can think about is i messed us up cuz im the one who sent him away, he said it should have been me there not him. I really dont know what to do, he has drank him self drunk every night..it's been 5 days in a row now, and he cries in my arm thinking of his friends and why good people get hurt....i'm no psychologist i'm his girlfriend and im trying to be a friend.
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