I need to get an opinion from some of you who have been there so here it goes. I have been with my husband for 10 years but married to him for 5. Before we got married, we did not always have the best relationship but were ok. I found out in 2003 I was pregnant and he was not thrilled. He told me that I trapped him in the relationship by getting pregnant. I was on the pill so I know that I did not trap him. He would always say hurtful things like that to me to make me feel like crap. When I had my daughter I had to tend to her at night when she cried. His excuse for not helping me was he had to work the next day. Its been that way since she was born. Anytime she was sick or had a tummy ache, I had to be the one to be up with her. I really think he has bi-polar disorder. One minute he's loving and the next he's like a woman on her period. y! He acuses me of every bad thing that happens and when he doesn't acuse me then I know he's thinking it. My question is is this verbal and emotional abuse? He has total control over me. He won't let me see my family in another state unless he can go with me. He has control over the money. Its so embaressing to ask for money when I go to the doctor. I can't do anything without him and I'm sick of it. I have no money to leave and no job because he wanted me to be home with my daughter. Now that she's about ready to start school, I want to get a job to start putting away money to leave him but he doesn't want me to. I need help to leave him and I don't know how to go about asking for help. I don't want to uproot my daughter who's in love with her father but I also want to be happy too. He's talked to other women online before and I use to be able to check his e-mail but he changed his passwords. I am just ready to get my life back and turn my life around for the better. Please anybody help me!!
yes, that is verbal and emotional abuse. you need to get out. talk to your family and see if you can stay with them for awhile. get a job during the day, regardless of what your husband says. do something, but you need to get out of there. there is a possibility that the verbal and emotional abuse may escalate into physical. even if it doesn't, it will eventually become directed at your daughter.
You are being subjected to a form of domestic violence. It is abuse. He has dis-empowered you to the point that you can't see how you will leave. But you can.
Contact your family and see if you can go to stay with them (perhaps they can come and pick you up), otherwise you can contact a women's shelter. They will assist you to leave and help you find housing and work.
I would not recommend staying with this man as he is trying to isolate you from all your support networks and challenging him on this could be dangerous. If you try and go to work while you're still with him, he may restrict your movements even further.
I agree with hheath541, you need to be thinking about your daughter and her well-being as well as your own.
This is an extremely abusive relationship. Normally we would recommend some professional help, such as marriage counselling, but it doesn't look like his going to be able to correct his behavior. He might be able to do it tempoarily, but it looks like he can easily go back to his old ways.
I strongly suggest that you consider leaving him. There's no reason for you to continue to suffer. You deserve better than this.
I feel sorry for you.
No matter what to do with your marriage, you better be financially capable to support you and your daughter. When you are completely dependable, you do not have any control for your life. What job skills do you have? Can you get any temp & part time job near your home to start to make own money even a little? You need some plan.
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