My boyfriend and I got into an argument. I got mad at him and he said he cant deal with it and that Im crazy. I was seriously upset about something I heard. he was like this isnt making him happy. He told me he can't be int he middle of this and hung up on me. He was obviously mad. I called back and left a message telling him that I trust him and if he respected me he should call me back. he never did. next day I texted him regretting how I approached the whole issue and how I shouldnt have just attacked him like that. No reply. I haven't gotten any response for him. he shuts off when hes upset with me.

Hes going out of the country for few weeks, where we will be in no contact. I'm just confused because I feel he always turns the problem around on me and I feel guilty. He never apologizes because he feels its never his fault. Should I not contact him before he leaves? If he doesnt contact me before he leaves I will be upset. Im so confused and hurt. I just want to be happy. I cant let him go. It hurts. Should I call him before he leaves? I feel like he wont respond to my texts and calls if hes mad. We all have arguements but I dont know why he hasnt forgiven me and called. What should I do? Help.

skyprincess

Really quick what was the topic that was approached? Not knowing the topic I don't really know what to say; but, if he did nothing wrong and he had nothing to hide and was being completely honest about it then he wouldn't turn the tables and make you feel like you are the bad person.

It's kind of like, if a partner accuses the other partner of cheating - they are usually actually the cheater, type of thing, not always true, but alot of the time it is.

misse4eva

Men are always embarrassed to admit when their wrong and they like it when the women begs for their attention...It makes them feel like their in control. I have a boyfriend now and whenever we argue its always my fault...I learned that sometimes you have to let them come to you for once.....All you should do is try calling him one more time nd if he doesn't pick up leave him a voicemail telling him how u feel about him and how much u care nd love him then send him an text message saying that u lefted him a voicemail and that u hope u listen to it and tell him that he can take all the time he needs to think and you will always be there waiting

talaniman

If he is this guy,
http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search....archid=2269804
Then enough is enough, time to leave him alone, and deal with yourself.

HistorianChick

You already contacted him. You've left messages and texts telling him what you feel. Leave it. Take these next couple weeks when he's "out of the country" to really examine your relationship. Good luck!

ruby07

I have thought about letting him go very seriously, but its too hard for me to do it. My mind says to get rid of him, I can do better; but my heart is too fond of him. I dont know what it is that keeps me wanting him: comfort? attachment? I dont get any attention from him and I know im not his priority right now. Everything he does to me, I forgive him. I havent heard from him this whole week, despite saying I'm Sorry. I dont know what to do.

HistorianChick

Its Friday night. Get some of your girlfriends together and do something that will take your mind off him. Hit Blockbuster for some major chick flicks, go to a movie, hang out and make cookies (!), masque up your face and drink lots of cucumber water while painting your toes, whatever you decide to do - but make it a night all about you. You've done what you can (in the form of text, messages, voice mails, etc.) with your guy, now focus on YOU!!! Really, it will be worth it.

ruby07

My situation is similar to HurtingALot but I'm not as strong as her. I found out that he was "looking" for another girl through the grapevine. I called him and over-reacted maybe. I trust him though for some reason. And now I feel guilty that I approached it wrong. Maybe i should have been calmer. He had broken up with me before because we argued alot. I think this one scared him because he realized I didnt change. I feel I have the right to be angry, but he didnt understand. He just hung up on me and never contacted me. I dont think he wants me, but why keep me around? I was so close to breaking up with him, but I didnt have the heart to do it. I know I deserve better, why do I keep keeping him around? I've had to ask for his attention and I told him all I want is to feel a little important. I texted him today saying I'm sorry, but I havent gotten any response. I dont know waht to do.

N0help4u

I agree with Skyprincess and HistorianChick
Guys that turn the table are most often doing it to be defensive because they do have something to hide. They have so many tricks for turning the table to make you feel guilty so you back off.
Most likely you could have handled the situation different but it is done and all you can do is wait it out to see what direction it is going to go.
In the meantime do as HistorianChick said and go out with girl friends and have a good time. Do things to take your mind off of him. BUT don't bother with guys for awhile until you see where it is or isn't going with him and you get over him a bit.

When I have to bring something up to a guy that I know they will try and deny and turn the tables I catch them off guard with a comment in a joking way like "ahhhha so that your new gf" and catch their reaction rather than their words.

EIFS EXPERT

I think if you falsely accused him of something then you should give him all the time he needs. If afterwards there is still hurt feelings then move on. You can't go through life crying.