So I will try and give you a run over as quick as I can. I met this guy we clicked, went out on a few dates, talked on the phone every night for 5 hours having deep conversations, spent the night at each others house. We have a lot in common, including bad childhoods and past relationships. I started getting scared because I could feel myself falling for him. I talked with him about it and he said that he understands and to just relax. He said that he has no intentions of hurting me and that he likes me and loves being with me. He then started bringing up things that I would do when I would shut down (physically turn away from him but still conversating, start to give quick answers). Then I started to notice it myself and I was doing it when things would start to get emotionally close between us. Finally he said that he thought that we should just be friends. It hurt me, and I said that I didn't think that I could just be his friend. He said that he didn't think that he has the time or energy to put into a relationship and make me happy.

A friend of mine said that I have been through a lot and it has made me really strong, but that at times I have been too strong. She said that this is one of those times where I need to let go and start to let him inside of that wall that I built.

We started talking again after a few weeks. About a month later he came to my company holiday party with me. They rent each employee a room and he stayed there, we had sex. Things seemed to be going good again. He keeps telling me that he feels so good when we do things and he sees a smile on my face. He has said that he misses me when I leave and that he loves spending time with me. He has made plans for the summer with both of our kids when his daughter is with him. It sounds and feels great.

But then sometimes he will say things like I think that once I get everything straight with the Army in my new job that I will be ready for a relationship. Or he won't call for a few days all of the sudden. But sometimes he will say that when we don't talk he feels sad because he thinks all kinds of bad things. Or he has said a few times "if you were my girlfriend"..........

I don't understand him. I don't want to rush things but would like a better understanding of what he wants. We live an hour away so it's not always that easy to see each other. But when we do he is great with my daughter and we have a great time together. Please help me to understand where I stand. Maybe I'm just over reacting and should just relax as he said in the past.