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Hi all. I know that most of us here are going through breakups and I wonder if anyone else has been going through periods of feeling like you are over it one week, then tempted to contact your ex the next week? I am just going through a cycle lately where one minute I will feel that I am over him and that I am moving on, and then a few days later I am tempted to contact him and try to be "friends" (something that I am against when one person still has feelings for an ex). I find myself wanting to discuss things with him like we used to and it's just really hard. I miss him, though I don't want to.
I have been trying to do the right things...exercising, reading, trying to stay busy, working a lot, talking to friends and family, posting here...but I find myself dreaming about my ex a lot. In fact, I have dreamt of him a couple of times this week. I still find myself checking my messages with small glimmers of hope that he will contact me. I imagine how conversations would go if we were to talk again. I still think of him every day. I have had no contact with him for nearly two months and thought I was almost over him. This morning I had feelings of trying to win him back! Geez! What is wrong with me? I don't understand how the relationship could mean so much to me and apparently so little to him. It's strange how we can look at other people's situations objectively and see the right thing to do, but when it comes to our own, we become clouded and confused. I am so annoyed with myself for even thinking of my ex still at this point.
Why can't I just get past this and move on? I have never struggled so much with a breakup before. I think that it's because this one was truly a shock out of nowhere and there had been no fights or problems discussed before he just ended it with me for another girl. It still hurts and I want to just hate him and label him as a jerk (like I can with my other exes), but I am having a hard time with it still. It sucks. Blecchh!
Is anyone else struggling with this type of thing?
<<The feelings you're experiencing are normal. Keep on doing the things you've been doing. Resist any urges to contact him and don't do it. You might try making a list of all of your ex's negative traits. Looking at all of the negatives may cast things in a more realistic light and help you get over him once and for all.>>
I dont find anything!!!!!!!!;-)
before this i had never any problem getting over an ex as there was always some annoying point , but with this one....nothing!!!!!
Location: United Kingdom - usually cold and wet here!
Posts: 1,276
Quote:
Originally Posted by rol
<<The feelings you're experiencing are normal. Keep on doing the things you've been doing. Resist any urges to contact him and don't do it. You might try making a list of all of your ex's negative traits. Looking at all of the negatives may cast things in a more realistic light and help you get over him once and for all.>>
I dont find anything!!!!!!!!;-)
before this i had never any problem getting over an ex as there was always some annoying point , but with this one....nothing!!!!!
That must be hard for you rol, it makes it more difficult to justify the breakup (so to speak).
So, you must have felt that this was the perfect man for you then.
I found that beyond the darkness and gloom of my breakup and through the passing of time, I have found many bad points about my ex and the relationship. That is not to say that I am all perfect because truthfully I am not and don't believe anyone is. I suppose it is a case of, are you perfect for each other. I still have feelings for her and perhaps always will hold something inside but I am not sure that she was right for me, certainly not in terms of age.
Location: United Kingdom - usually cold and wet here!
Posts: 1,276
Yes..That is all you can do, get on with your life. I think you are going about things the right way and remaining positive. That psychic did not help though.. I've always wanted to visit one of those, I am not sure if I believe it though but I am open minded. I might be scared by what he or she would say about my future...LOL
HA HA yes that was my first time and probably last time to ever visit one ;-) just before we met.
she told me many true things that happened and told me that soon i would soon meet the man from heaven for me and decribed him perfectly. personality, looks, everything.Then the strange thing i remember was that she hesitated and then she said all will be ok.
she told me she saw us gettting married and having a baby so obviously she must have got some card wrong ha ha
Location: United Kingdom - usually cold and wet here!
Posts: 1,276
I hear spiritualists are good to visit too. To be honest, I am open minded so I would visit one. I would not let anything that is said influence my choices but if what they say (psychics) is true, then they could not influence the choices you make since fate would take care of that.
Thanks everyone for your advice. Thanks to you Geoff for your in depth reply. To answer your question about the messages I have been checking...both email and phone...lol. I don't know why. I know he won't contact me. I am not planning on contacting him either. I know it would be too painful for me to try to be just friends with him. I looked at him as much more than just friends. He knew that. Someone posted that even if he and I did talk again, the breakup would overshadow everything, and that's true. That's what made me have to cut off contact with him. I couldn't look past how much he hurt me by what he did.
Anyway, I am feeling a bit better today. I was just having a bad day yesterday and for some reason my ex was really on my mind. I think it all came about because there is a story in the news that he and I normally would be discussing quite a bit and a movie I saw that he and I normally would have talked a lot about together. Just little things like that make me miss him. I just miss talking to him... Silly I suppose. I loved hearing his opinions on things.
It made me sad to think that Christmas of 2005, he and I were exchanging gifts, planning a vacation together, discussing jobs for me to move to his city, and then fast forward to Christmas of 2006, he and I didn't so much as even say "Merry Christmas" to one another. So strange. I just don't know how it came to this when I cared for him so much and we seemed to get along so well. Oh well. Such is life I suppose. Does anyone else ever have thoughts like this? Like...what the hell happened here?
Anyway, after I posted here, I took a nap, worked out, took a long bath, called my best friend and we went out to a good Italian restaurant. I felt better afterwards. I am off to work today. I am a nurse and work 3 twelve hour shifts per week. That keeps my mind occupied, believe me! I am usually too busy and tired to think of anything after a day on the job. This is a good thing when you are going through a breakup.
Anyway, thanks again for your replies. Glad I have helped you Geoff. I wish I could take my own advice a bit better. I'm working on it.
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