My ex always says she loves me and cares about me. We have been together for about 10months, but we were friends for about a year before we started actually going out. Our relationship was great. She always expressed she is the happiest she has even been with me, i was the best boyfriend she ever had. None of her last boyfriend has ever been as sweet or as nice to her. I gave her the best sex she has ever had, she said actually felt more like making love. I was basically her first for everything but sex. I was first to buy her flowers, take her out to fancy restaurant, first for her mom and friends to like, actually care for her and the list goes on. All of her past boyfriend were just not good to her at all, i was the only good guy. Just all around best boyfriend.

I mean just like everyother couple had our arguements. But it was a saturday night she gave me that line "go out with your friends i dont care, have fun!" she could not come out with us because she was unable to. Guess she really wanted me to stay? However she suggested she wants to go on a break the next day. She said she needs space and time to think and to basically have some time to herself for a little. She hasn't really ever been single before that also was factor. Like she said she justs want a little time to herself. She said repeatedly because i asked so much. She is not breaking for another guy or because she wants to have sex with someone else, its for something so much more. Just wants time for herself and just wants to live the single life for a little (like to go out to a club a few times and be able to flirt without hurting my feelings). Which i was mad about but could understand because she has never really been able to flirt in life, because she has always been in relationships. But she said to me your not just some other guy i love you so much and i could see myself really being with you for a very long time etc. Before we got together when were friends i used to go out alot to clubs and flirt with girls all the time and she said you got to live that life why cant i? which is understandable. Just hopes she realized like i did that, that life gets old and meaningless.

We have argued alot after the break of course i beg and tried to get her back(the usual thing). but now its been about two weeks i have given her her space. have not called, text, etc. She usually ends up texting me everyday to see how im doing what i been up to etc. and also says thanks i appreciate for listening to her and giving her space and even asked to meet up with me a few times because she says she misses me. We met up last night (wednesday night) it was just like normal we were happy and enjoying each other's company. When were leaving I went to give her a kiss (she thought of the lips), she said wait we still not together. So i gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. then she came to me gave me a kiss on both cheeks and on the forehead. Then she was wondering if i wanted to chill again friday. I said yes. I dont want to get my hopes up, but maybe not talking to her and giving her space helped.

I still love her and care for her alot. Hope following these guidelines will help because i want to get back together one day soon.

Also she wants to chill tomorrow. Is that fine to chill with her? how long? how should i act? Also should I bring up about has she been thinking about us being back together? etc

nickshehe

Good philosophy there..Don't wait..and if you can't stand being her friend - you don't have to be. She was selfish in looking at her own interests when she left you and then wanting to keep you as her friend. You don't have to suffer to be the nice guy - she's the one that removed you from her life at the end of the day, so you don't owe her anything..That doesn't mean you should be angry or mean too her..But if you can't be her friend then don't be.
Hang in there.

Mixwell

We talked more and told me that day we met up just felt like we were more friends and that love was not there. I honestly was acting different towards her that night, but she offfered to chil with me tonight. so for once im going to act like me, not what my friends have told me to do. Hopefully this works i'm going to take her to this special restaurant we once been too, where we had a perfect and loving night together. Everyone wish me luck. No matter what happpens tonight im going to give her space and no contact. To leave her with one great experience to think about.

any advice for tonight?

plonak

Be yourself, and yes after tonight.. don't meet with her again.. i did the whole "i need a break" thing with my boyfriend, and those sporatic meetings were to help me not feel so bad and not missing him, i say if she wants the break give it to her and make it hurt. tell her that she can't just say she wants a break and then choose whenever she wants to see you,.. she needs to feel the lonelyness..

and about tonight, don't set your hopes too high, because you never know how it's gonna go.. it will probably go to NC after tonight and be ok with it.. i know its hard. good luck

Mixwell

we had to reschedule the night. I think it will be better to have it at a later date, our relationship is way too stressed right now, think it will be more effective at a later date. so now im gonna give it time no contact unless she talks to me. She has been asking to see me already i denied the first one. see how everything goes. hope it works out

talaniman

she has realized she can put you in the friend zone and still do whatever she pleases, and still be open for something interesting to com along. She has you and doesn't have to get over you. Great situation for her but not so great for you. Thats YOUR own fault. Lady wants a break give it to her and disappear from her life and build one that you enjoy without her.
Your relationship is a friendship that she controls. You have allowed her to call the shots and set the pace. UGH! Not attractive, that's what puppy dogs do. As they are told.
Double Ugh!!!! And what does that say for your dignity and self respect??? No wonder she dumped you.
Make it work by leaving her alone and giving her what she asked for.........a break!

Mixwell

yeah your right. wish i would have knew all of this beforehand. i guess its too late

talaniman

Nope, never to late. Just start now.

Mixwell

I will but first needs time of course. Next time I really gotta get ahold of this relationship like i was before. I guess I became to nice to her and always being nice isnt the way you should be with girls. They will get used to it take advangtage and overall you will get boring to them; sometimes its good to be just to keep them in check that your running the show and your driving the car. I learned this now but hopefully want to use this knowledge i do know now with her oneday. I just know next time i will be different with all i have learned. Now its time for healing and to learn to live life without her. Whatever the future holds im not waiting on it whatever happens happens. Just hope for the best.