I have been with the same guy for 4 1/2 years. We have been enaged for over 3 yrs. Just a short background. I am educated with a good career and come from a family of hardworkers. He is from a good family but education is not important and he is "self-employed" Well I moved 24 hrs away from my family and friends to be with him and got a great job. Well he has now decided that he doesn't want any bills and sold our property and moved 2 hours away to a friends house where he can live for "free." I couldn't find a place to live for myself and animals so I had to send my dogs with him. Now he wants me to quit my job and live for "free" with him. He doesn't get why I am upset and why we aren't married yet. I feel like if I have to everything by myself and what is the point in being with someone if you have no support. There is so much more but am I wrong for feeling this way and wrong for not marrying him yet like he claims?? Should I just tell him to get lost?

The fact that you are questioning whether you should be in this relationship already speaks volumes in itself.

Did he even discuss the decision to sell the property with you? He appears to be making decisions that affect the both of your lives without fully taking your situation into consideration or even your input. If you stay with this guy, I foresee more of the same kind of behavior from him.

You're not wrong for feeling this way and you're definitely not wrong for not marrying him yet. I'm not going to tell you to dump this guy - that's ultimately your choice. I do want to reiterate that if you decide to stay in this situation, be prepared for the possibility that this kind of stuff will continue to happen throughout your entire relationship.

You have to decide if his actions are for your best benefit or not, then make a decision that's best for you.

Dear Ambojoy,
I agree with Ducky, you have to see what's good for you rather than let him choose anything regardless of how you feel.

You need to make a life for yourself, and if he is holding you back, then you should move on

I Think you see for yourself that you will never be happy with the way he does things so what the point of beating a dead horse?

Do your thing your way, and then you will at least be happy.

You and him value different things and marriage at this point should be the furthest thing from your mind and is the least ofr your problems. He whether live at a friend house for free than have his own>>this speaks volumes about his character. Your so better off with him, believe me.

Time to breakup-you two aren't on the same page-as I think you realise as you are here asking for advice.

You two are so far off the page of what the other wants I don't see it ever getting back on. There has to be more, for someone to just up and quit like that and life "free"

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Originally Posted by ambojoy

I have been with the same guy for 4 1/2 years. We have been enaged for over 3 yrs. Just a short background. I am educated with a good career and come from a family of hardworkers. He is from a good family but education is not important and he is "self-employed" Well I moved 24 hrs away from my family and friends to be with him and got a great job. Well he has now decided that he doesn't want any bills and sold our property and moved 2 hours away to a friends house where he can live for "free." I couldn't find a place to live for myself and animals so I had to send my dogs with him. Now he wants me to quit my job and live for "free" with him. He doesn't get why I am upset and why we aren't married yet. I feel like if I have to everything by myself and what is the point in being with someone if you have no support. There is so much more but am I wrong for feeling this way and wrong for not marrying him yet like he claims??? Should I just tell him to get lost?

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"Engaged for 3 years"... red flag. "Live for free"... no such thing. Someone is footing your bill. "Want's you to quit your job"... that's just CRAZY! He is NOT a support, he is a drain on you. If you did not feel like this was all wrong, I would be worried about you. Yes, tell him to GET LOST!

He sounds like he's not very motivated to do anything and doesn't feel bad taking free handouts. And he's trying to drag you down with him.

Is that the type of husband you want?