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    ahming1216's Avatar
    ahming1216 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 19, 2009, 12:26 PM
    Am I over my ex yet? Dream interpretation
    So I had a really bad breakup around 7 months ago, long story short, my girlfriend had cheated on me and left me for her previous ex. Anyway, that was 7 months ago, I went through a lot and thought I had gotten over her, and I have even started dating another girl since a month ago.

    Things are all right with the new girlfriend, but I don't know what's wrong with me. This girl is amazing and I really thought I liked her a lot, but still after a month of dating, I don't feel the same "im in love" feeling that I had for my ex. I don't know if its because I am not over my ex yet, or if I just have issues trusting people again and can't open myself up to her.

    All my friends tell me that I am not over my ex yet because a week ago I had bumped into her and saw her boyfriend for the first time since we broke up and I got really pissed and was about to punch the guy's face in, but I decided against it cause my girlfriend was on campus too and I didn't want to start sh!t, so I just backed off and walked away, but my heart was pounding with fury.

    Anyway last night, I had a dream about my ex and it went like this. I dreamt that I had been told from a mutual friend of my ex and I that my ex's boyfriend is a pot addict, so to get back at him, I decided to sneak into his house and burn his stash of marijuana. Anyway, obviously the guy got really pissed and knew it was me who did it, so he yelled at my ex and blamed it on her, and decided to break up with her. My ex then calls me on the phone and is crying in tears telling me that her boyfriend dumped her cause of what I did, but just then I walk outside my house door and my neighbour tells me that my ex's boyfriend is waiting outside for me. So I said to my ex "fk this, you're annoying" and I pass the phone to my neighbour standing beside me, and go outside and I charge at the and punch him.

    And then I wake up. I woke up immediately after my dream cause it was still in the middle of the night, and I sat there thinking about my dream a lot. Because of all my friend's opinions, I've really been having doubts about myself and whether Im really over my ex yet or not, and I've been feeling guilty and upset whenever I'm with my girlfriend, and I sort of feel like Im emotionally cheating on her. But after my dream, I thought to myself that if I really weren't over her, I wouldn't have just been like, "you're annoying leave me alone" and just toss the phone away. Besides, she really rarely comes across my mind anymore, I don't always think about her, or ponder what could or couldn't have been if things happened differently.

    In my defense, my reaction for getting really pissed off when I saw her boyfriend is just because like, come on guys, this is THE guy who stole your ex-girlfriend away from you and made your life miserable. Whether I have feelings for my ex isn't a concern for my urge to break the guy's nose. Come on, where's the pride? That's what I've told my friends, but they still seem to be convinced that I acted that way because I still like my ex.
    UnluckyDucky's Avatar
    UnluckyDucky Posts: 210, Reputation: 110
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    #2

    Feb 19, 2009, 01:44 PM
    I'm not one to go into dream interpretations because oftentimes they really don't make sense, but based on what you've stated its my opinion that you're not over her yet. When you are truly over your ex you should be able to see her with another guy or hear about her life and have close to zero reaction to it. Sure, maybe a twinge of missing the good times you've shared together but nothing close to level of anger you're describing.

    You have to realize that unless she was coerced (through threats or other forms of manipulation) to go out with him, he really didn't steal her away from you. She simply lost attraction for you and decided instead of working on the relationship with you, she wanted to end it and start one again with him. It seems to me that you have not come to terms with this yet and unless you do, you will not be able to fully let go.

    One thing you didn't mention is how long your relationship actually lasted. Without knowing for sure, I can only take a guess whether you were a rebound for her since she ended up back with her ex.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #3

    Feb 19, 2009, 06:19 PM

    Dreams are just dreams. I had dreams to where I was married to Will Smith, was a millionare then woke up pissed.

    Love takes time and I don't know why your bethinking that after one month of being with your girlfriend you should be in love with her. It's just one month.

    However, if you aren't over your ex than you shouldn't be dating let alone in a relationship with someone else because it isn't fair to that person your involved with. Then you won't be able to completely give yourself to that person like you should. I think , if anything, you should be honest with that person about your feelings and have some time to yourself and not involved with someone until your over your past but sometimes when you see a ex it stirred up back those old feelings but seeing her with her new boyfriend shouldn't get you mad.

    You know yourself best and you stated that you aren't over your ex and you might have jumped into a relationship too quick. So what do you think you should do from here?
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #4

    Feb 19, 2009, 09:46 PM

    I think having bad feelings towards your Ex's new BF isn't abnormal , but I commend you for holding back your feelings when you saw him and wanted to harm him. You just saved yourself some dignity there.

    As far as the feelings for the new girl well you've only been seeing her for a month. Take your time and enjoy the dating process , getting to know each other and seeing if you are meant to be together for the long run , Love takes time.

    Good Luck!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Feb 19, 2009, 10:11 PM

    Pretty obvious your angry at this guy, and that anger is misplaced since your ex is with him of her free will, but it makes you feel better blaming him, rather than her.

    Its also obvious your not completely healed, and your carrying that old unresolved baggage with you into this rebound, feel good relationship, not very fair to her, nor is it healthy, or honest.

    Get real and be honest with yourself!!
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #6

    Feb 20, 2009, 06:49 AM

    You have to heal yourself before you have a healthy relationship again.

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