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Right, ths is kinda hard to explain so ill cut it down a bit lol...
My fiances parents live in scotland, im in england, and he has a job in scotland so he's up there most of the time. When we're together in life, he is the most adorable person you could ever meet, but while hes up there he rings me on a night to say goodnight and see how my days been etc.
But on the phone he seems like he doesnt want to talk to me. I ring him constantly.. if he doesnt answer my texts or dverts my calls.. it makes me ring and text him more. Hes told me it annoys him.. and i know im going to lose him if i carry on. But i miss him so much and when im not with him just feel like i constantly need to talk to him.
How can i stop this? I love him with all my heart, we've been together 2 year and i really dont want to lose him!
But then again... when im at work.. i come home from work and just want to chill out, watch tv etc. and thats when i dont mind when he rings me.
Which is the same for him... when he comes home from work he wants to have dinner then sit and chill. Normally he doesnt finish work until 10pm...which is why he rings me so late. It doesnt bother me that he rings me late because im always awake anyway. (i find it hard to sleep at night; have done since i was very young).
I have just spent the whole week with him.. but he had to go back up to go to work today. I hated saying goodbye.. he went bk to scotland on tuesday.. and all ive done since he went home is cry. Going to bed without him being in it and holding me is the worst thing in the world to me. Which is why i... crave? him ringing me.
I dont know.
I dont know why i posted this in the first place.. im just making myself get in a worse state lol.
You are not obsessive. You are a 17 year old who is having a long distant relationship with a 20 year old (in my country,that would border on illegal especially since it's been going on since you were what 15?) who is calling you obssesive because he only wants to talk to you when he wants to.
It is perfectly normal for young couples to be talking to each other more often that once a day.
I agree with you 100%, homegirl. It does seem kind of odd that he only calls you once a day, I mean at least he's calling you, but diverting your calls to his voicemail and <b>only speaking to you when he <i>wants</i> to</b>, thats not right. He can't be that busy. I'd be kind of skeptical of this, I really would. Homegirl has a huge point, you are only 17, he is 20 and you are miles apart. I know its not something that you want to hear, but there has got to be an underlying issue here. It almost sounds like he's having his cake and eating it too.
I'm curious, has he given you a ring, have you met each other's parents yet?
Your obviously not understanding what im saying.
i DONT want to meet anyone else. i love him. i want to be with him for the rest of my life.
Apart from the phone thing we are absolutely fine.
I know its annoying him, you dont know what im like so your bound to say that lol. Im honestly very obsessive when it comes to ringing him. and i understand why he gets fed up because if he was doing it to me i would have told him where to go a long time ago.
I just need a way to stop being obsessive all the time. He said he doesnt mind me ringing and texting him... but not at indecent hours and while hes at work. which you must see is understandable.
Im not blaming myself and im not stickng up for him.
But im the one that needs to stop being obsessive and change. not him.
You are obsessing because you are young and your boyfriend is in another country. You are feeling very insecure. Maybe a bit of counseling will help.
You have this romantic picture in your mind of life with him and you don't even want to entertain the thought that it may not work, which is where a lot of your obsession is coming from.
I can't tell you how to not be desparate. I can only tell you what I think and you are not wanting to hear that.
Yes i have an engagement ring.
Yes we've met each others parents.
He stays with me and my parents one week, and i stay with him and his the week after, and etc.
He doesnt only ring me once a day. He rings me on a morning when he gets up for work at 7am.. when i get up to go to work too.. then he rings me on a night after work... and texts me during the day when hes on a break. but apart from that then yea.
But then again... when im at work.. i come home from work and just want to chill out, watch tv etc. and thats when i dont mind when he rings me.
Which is the same for him... when he comes home from work he wants to have dinner then sit and chill. Normally he doesnt finish work until 10pm...which is why he rings me so late. It doesnt bother me that he rings me late because im always awake anyway. (i find it hard to sleep at night; have done since i was very young).
I have just spent the whole week with him.. but he had to go back up to go to work today. I hated saying goodbye.. he went bk to scotland on tuesday.. and all ive done since he went home is cry. Going to bed without him being in it and holding me is the worst thing in the world to me. Which is why i... crave? him ringing me.
I dont know.
I dont know why i posted this in the first place.. im just making myself get in a worse state lol.
I know i dont like what your sayin partly. but that doesnt mean i dont undersand or know were yor coming from.
Because believe me, i know exactly what you mean.
And yeah, maybe it wont work out...
But at the minute, like i said, we are great aprt from the phone thing.
Its like right now... he textme at 5pm, i havent heard from him since... he has to be up for work early tomorrow.. and now im starting to get irritable.. because now im thinking.. when/or is he gunna ring me? ... u get wot i mean?
It really just sounds like you need to focus your attention on a hobby or a class or something, then. Thats really the only way to not be obsessed is to FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION SOMEPLACE ELSE. When you're obsessed with something all your attention is on that one thing, so pick up an afterschool activity, an gym membership, a book, knitting, scrapbooking, something to divert your attention
Yes i have an engagement ring.
Yes we've met each others parents.
He stays with me and my parents one week, and i stay with him and his the week after, and etc.
He doesnt only ring me once a day. He rings me on a morning when he gets up for work at 7am.. when i get up to go to work too.. then he rings me on a night after work... and texts me during the day when hes on a break. but apart from that then yea.
Now first you said you only talk to him and night and he doesn't text, now you say you're communicating with him several times during the day. Which is it?
I'm not understanding this whole relationship. You're sleeping together at each other's parents house...You are a 17 year old playing adult games and you are confused and desperate.
I have no clue what to tell you that won't make you mad. So I'm going to just stay out of this. If you were my 17 year old daughter, some 20 year old guy would not be sleeping with you in my house.
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