Homegirl 50

I think it is a bit disrespectful of him to not pay attention to the time and call you so late at night, and I also don't understand why he gets upset if you call him maybe one time during the day.
It's a give and take thing. If he knows how you are, he should accept a phone call or text from you. Ignoring it says you're not important. Maybe this is why you are obsessed.

Laydee Artois

I have never been obsessive with any of my ex's. but then again, ive never loved anyone as much as i love my fiance.
The whole 2 year i have been with him, our relationship has been like this, normally i go up scotland then he comes to mine. I see him everyweek.
The thing is, i met him on the internet years ago;; this is how i first ever met him, then obviously we met up etc. But.. i didnt see him for a whole year before i met him, so i couldnt miss him because i'd never been with him to miss him, but ever since we met in life.. i constantly want to be with him. We are actually waiting for our house to get done in scotland as we're both going to live there. but that wont be for a few months yet.
Its like tonight... he text me at around 5pmish saying he was at his mums (his mum and dad dont live together)... and ive tryed ringing him twice but each time hes diverted my calls.. which you have to at least understand why that is making me pissed off? lol.

I dont know. i love him more than anything. i just miss him and want to be with him.
x

Homegirl 50

Age has a lot to do with it because now that I know how old you are, that explains it. You guys are young.
I'm looking at it from a mature adult perspective, late 20's to 30 something.

Laydee Artois

He is mature xd. i am.. kind of. wen it comes to us i am mature.
thats got nothing to do with this; im not obsessive because im only seventeen! im obsessive because.. i dont know why.

thats why i need help! lol.

Homegirl 50

Well for one thing you are very young and so is he, and while you have known each other 2 years, you really have not spent a whole lot of time with each other. Do you go to school and do you plan to go to college? I think you need to concentrate on getting a life, do you have hobbies, friends?
The fact that he ignores your calls does not help matters. Are you sure you want to move away from home and be with someone who treats you this way?

Laydee Artois

yes because i love him.
i work as a care assistant.
i have a life, friends and hobbies. these dont stop me obsessing.
all i want is to be with him, to have him hold me whenever i want instead of having to wait until the next time i see him.
it gets to around midnight and i think.. oh well hes not gna ring me 2night.. and i try and go 2 sleep... but i cant sleep unless i talk to him.
sad? or maybe its just love.
i dont know.
all i know is that i need to change. he told me i dont need to change,that hes just not used to the attention, that he loves me and that i shud stay the way i am because he loves me uncondionally.
but i need to change.i know i do. i just cant.

Homegirl 50

You are not obsessive. You are a 17 year old who is having a long distant relationship with a 20 year old (in my country,that would border on illegal especially since it's been going on since you were what 15?) who is calling you obssesive because he only wants to talk to you when he wants to.
It is perfectly normal for young couples to be talking to each other more often that once a day.

Homegirl 50

Stop being available for his once a day calls and see what his reaction is. In the meantime, get a social life. That will take your mind off of him. You may even meet someone close to home who has no problem talking to you more than once a day.

Laydee Artois

Your obviously not understanding what im saying.
i DONT want to meet anyone else. i love him. i want to be with him for the rest of my life.
Apart from the phone thing we are absolutely fine.
I know its annoying him, you dont know what im like so your bound to say that lol. Im honestly very obsessive when it comes to ringing him. and i understand why he gets fed up because if he was doing it to me i would have told him where to go a long time ago.
I just need a way to stop being obsessive all the time. He said he doesnt mind me ringing and texting him... but not at indecent hours and while hes at work. which you must see is understandable.
Im not blaming myself and im not stickng up for him.
But im the one that needs to stop being obsessive and change. not him.

Homegirl 50

Then he needs to love you enough to stop ignoring your calls and respect your need to talk to him more than once a day.
This one reason long distant relationships don't work. They hardly work for adults, I can certainly see the feelings of desparation in a teenager.