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Hi all,
let me start by introducing myself. I am 26 years old guy. I am gay and never been with a guy. I didn't like anyone that much to be with.
but for the past 4 years i am in love with my friend. he is the straightest guy i have seen - he is handsome, masculine and sexy.
It is not about the thrill of having a straight man; i have had none ( straight or gay guys ) so i don't know which one is more thrilling. Its just that i am madly in love with him - i have constant goose-bumps when i am with him.
this is not a crush and i know that i will not "get over him". What do i do??
is there any way that i can get him??
please help - i feel like dying without him.
Thanx in advance.
What kind of relationship do you two have?
Casual friends, acquaintances? best friends? what?
When do you see him, hang out, etc...
Need more info...
I'll go ahead and state that I wont help you seduce him...
But I might be able to help you sort through some of your feelings.
It may do you some good to talk about it.
i am casual friends with him. he has got a couple of best friends that he hangs out with all the time. but we meet atleast once a day for some time - it is for professional purpose only. he doesn't drink or smoke. he is 3 years younger to me. sometimes i go to sleep over at his place. but i usually resist doing that coz i can't sleep through the night. he has mostly that casual friend mixed with business attitude towards me - it kills me ( here i am loving him more than my life willing to do anything and he feels like i am only a business college with some amounts of friendship ). he talks only business with me most of the time - some personal stuff here and there but thats it. how do i get him??? i know that u won't help me get him ( though luck for me) but whatever help you give is more than welcome. thank you for taking the time and being so nice to me.......
If you've been keeping all these feelings to yourself, then theres no wonder your feeling quite overwhelmed right now.
Chances are that this guy does not realize your gay (since you've never told him)...
If you know that he's not gay, then you should get into the habit of redirecting your thoughts.
This situation happened to a friend I had in high school.
He was gay and really liked a straight guy.
When the straight guy found out, he cut all contact with the other guy (who was my friend)... This rejection had a major impact on his wellbeing.
You can not make a straight man gay...
Saying you will share him...with his wife...come on now??? Lets get realistic...You don't want to be miserable.
In order to find a gay relationship, you need to find a gay man.
And only then will you be happy.
You've been feeding the thought of having a chance with this straight guy which is never going to happen. Thats why you feel the way you do now.
You need to stop that...
I've had my heart broken before, it hurt too, but had I dwelt on it and not moved on, I would not have met my husband nor would I have my two wonderful children...
You must move on from this. Even though it doesn't seem like it right now, you will get over him. But it will only get worse for you if you keep obsessing over something that will never be.
If you were real you would have told him honestly how you feel a long time ago, and risked his friendship as we all do. Stop obsessing and get over it, if your not going to be honest about yourself to him. Or show respect for the friendship and accept he will never be anything but casual friends.
Kae is absolutely right. This is an obsession that has nothing whatever to do with this guy, it's yours and yours alone to deal with. Stop feeding it. If you don't know how to redirect your thoughts and feelings, it's time to learn this essential life skill.
People can't help being attracted to whatever gender they're attracted to so i guess what I'm saying is it's highly unlikely he's going to want to be more than friends with you after 23years of being straight. a start would be to tell him that you're gay and see how he reacts to it. i reckon once you tell him that, he'll wonder whether you fancy him or not(i don't consider this vain- it's probably natural to wonder) and contemplate his reactions in his own mind. you may not find out what he really thinks but atleast there's a chance he'd be more prepared for this scenario if you do decide to tell him your feelings. another course of action is to go out and try and have some fun. do you have gay m8s? go clubbing! I highly doubt you'd get through an entire night out without spotting someone you're attracted to. give it a chance. you sound like such a sweet guy, give someone who actually wants you a chance instead of being hung up on a guy who doesn't even have the same sexual preferences. you wont know whats out there till you give it a go! this is the first piece of advice iv given on this site so i really hope it helps! xx
I'd would pretty much just say that you should talk to him, but don't freak out or anything on him or say anything that would affect your friendship. I have a lesbian friend who once told me she was attracted to me but I am straight and I told her how I felt about it and we are still friends. The chances of you 2 ending up together are slim because he is straight but let him know how you feel. Thats the best thing you can do. I wish the best for you.
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