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My boyfriend and I broke up on Friday. He said that I was to 'possessive'.
Here is what happened:
We had gone down to the mall with his grandparents, and his aunt calls and asks if he wants to come up to her house for this weekend (which he is still at as I type...). Anyways, I had gone up and spent the night with him at her house before and I asked him to ask her if I could go. We already had our whole weekend planned out and everything before she called, so instead of breaking our plans, I thought that I could just go with him. He said that he would ask her when he got to his house. She said no. I started to cry and he said that I was being to controlling and that we needed to brake up. We had been dating for 10 and a half months. I lost my virginity to him, and I loved him. We were only one year apart, and we were going to get an apartment together when he graduated so we could get married. (I am 16 and he is 17).
*Should I try and get him back, or leave him alone?
* You need to leave him alone. If he thinks that you are too possessive and controlling then trying to get him back will only make him think that more than he already does. Have you read any of the other break-up threads? No Contact is the rule here. Have no contact with him whatsoever, no phone calls, no texts, no e-mails. Zip, nada, nothing.
* You can't tell him how much you miss him if you have no contact with him
* At school you just keep to your friends and let him keep to his.
* Time will make you happy again. It all takes time. Time is the healer of all wounds, physical, mental and emotional.
You are very young. Learn from this relationship, take with it the good things and learn from the mistakes.
I can appreciate how sad you are over the loss of your boyfriend. I seriously doubt however that he concluded you were possesive on one set of circumstances. And if he did, it wasn't much of a relationship, frankly. It would be more like two kids playing at having a relationship and I don't mean that to sound mean-- its just that you really are still kids. That you expect us to conclude whether you are or aren't possessive on one set of circumstances really illustrates how young, inexperienced and not ready you are too -- just like the previous posts suggest.
Time to grow up a little and concentrate on being someone (other than the girlfiend/wife of someone else) and doing something (other than move into an apartment and get married). Focus on finding your passion (that will lead to work) and finishing the necessary education for it. There will be time enough for love later, and it will work differently too then, better. I promise.
We were only one year apart, and we were going to get an apartment together when he graduated so we could get married. (I am 16 and he is 17).
The fantasy is over, so now deal with reality. Leave him alone and as Val has so eloquently said, pay attention to your own happiness. Playing house is not a plan to make you happy.
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