Me and my ex broke up 3 weeks ago. We were together for 1 year and 2 months. The reason she broke up with me is that I didn't gave her enough attention. She always doubted my feelings for her. And I hurt her by acting this way. Don't get me wrong, I showed her that I loved her (poetry, surprises, candlelight dinner,...)but not enough according to her.

Now, looking back,she is right at some points, sometimes, i acted a little bit cold towards her. I think the reason was that I was afraid to get hurt, I spent a lot of time with my friends...etc. Now I feel that did not do enough effort for her. (she is right)
She is a very good girl, and I hate it that I hurt her. If she told me she was hurting at that time, I would change my ways without a doubt.I would give her more attention in a heartbeat.Anything to make her happy.The last thing I wanted to do is hurt her. BUt she never told me a thing, all she said was, you make me happy, you give me butterflies...so I thought I was doing great. Sometimes she gave me signals, but you know, I didnt understand them at the time. Now I do...And I'm feeling bad about that.

After she broke up with me, I told her that i was sorry that i made her hurt, that she is my world, i wont let her leave,i said eventhough i acted liltle cold sometimes, what trully matters is whats within my heart.....but she doubted that our relationship wil work.She had too many doubts. She admitted that she was wrong too, that she didnt spoke to me about her problems. BUt its too late. I bought her something she always wanted. But none of that worked. I did not think it would work but at least I showed her that I care a LOT.

After we broke up we spoke 3 times. Everytime I spoke about "us" she started crying. I decided to never speak about us again, i dont want to hurt her more. Its all in the past
She told me she is happy now, that she likes her freedom. She is going out a lot BUT she is neglecting school. She tells me that she loves me and that she's missing me when she's alone.

Yesterday I saw her at a party (I did not see her for a week) we talked for a few minutes, we laughed, we danced for a sec.She told me that I looked Hot.It was difficult for me to see her again, but i did not showed that. I acted happy.

I really miss her a lot!!! Its been true all along, you dont know what you got till its gone!
I want her back, what should I do? I only text or call her if she does it first. I am doing fine, im trying to move on, working out, meeting new girls (just for my self esteem), but still I want her back....
Need some good advice! I want her back!

paulnichols

You indicated she said you did not give her enough attention. Exactly how much attention would be "enough" for her. She may have been trying to get something from you that she can only get from herself, "self esteem." It's possible that no amount of attention could have satisfied her need. Maybe she needs to gain her own self esteem before she is ready for a relationship.

Sentra

It appears that she could not love herself enough to accept how much love and care you showed to her, this is no NO fault of yours, trust me. You seemed to be a good man to her, if she wanted more than that, she's looking for the 9th wonder of the world.

valinors_sorrow

Some relationships could easily be defined as "dress rehearsal" for the real thing. I know it sounds kinda contradictory since there really is no dress rehearsal to life. But the lessons learned from the failure of our first attempts are what is exactly needed in order for us to eventually have the relationship that counts, that works for both people and endures over time. And no offense but this relationship you describe here Tonyyy sounds like one of those.

Sometimes we learn to be more self sufficient, sometimes we learn to pick people who are more self sufficient. Sometimes we learn to be more attentive, sometimes we learn to pick people who are more attentive. It is a long list of possible lessons to be learned. My point is there is always some sort of lesson in it for everyone. Learning the lesson almost always demands that we move on. Very very rarely do we get to go back and apply it where it was learned. There is no greater teacher than life. My condolences to you for your loss, and my hope is that you will find the one meant for you -- lesson and girl both.

bluerose

It sound like what you need is closure. Sounds to me like you were doing okay, but it also sound like you were trying to give her what you thought she wanted instead of asking her what she wanted and listening to what she had to say. Why not invite her for coffee and a chat - no hassle, no pressure.

Simply let her know what a fool you have been (even if you haven't). Tell her how you feel but that you will accept her decision, whatever that might be. If it is to end, be kind. Leave you both with nice memories and nice feelings. That way there won't be any awkwardness if you should ever bump into each other.

People change and people move on, sometimes they move on together but most of the time they do not. Don't punish her for not feeling the same way you do. Take care of yourself. Think positively about the future and know that you did the right thing.

talaniman

I feel your pain, but don't make the mistake of beating yourself on the head for being yourself. Love is fine but not the kind that makes you change who you are for someone else's self-esteem. A good relationship depends on both partners excepting each other for who they are. She wanted more than you had to give and could not open up to tell you how she really feels. Love is hard under those circumstances. We have all gone thru those types of relationship where no matter what we did we just can't get on the same page and make that love grow. So move on and be glad to learn the lesson of better communication and make the next time better and with a more understanding partner who appreciates you for who you are. Time will heal the wounds, as long as you accept this relationship didn't work for whatever reason. Work on yourself and be a better partner to the next one. This one has to grow some it seems. Not your fault or hers, really. Move on.