Am I doing the right thing?

lcutiepie · #1 Jan 6, 2003, 10:14 PM

??? I met this 23 year old guy this past May. We started dating and everything was fine. After a whole and huge mess we broke up this past September. I didn't see him for 3 months. Then we saw each other again a week before Christmas and we got back together. Eveything has been really good. A couple of days ago, he told me that his been seeying this married woman and they been dating. When I found out about it I told him...I should back up. I love this man like no other and I want his happiness and if she is the woman that makes him happy, then I will get away. But he doesn't want me too. He says he knows if he lets me go, he'll be looking for me in a few days, because he needs me and the reason why he didn't look for me before its because he knew I was dating other people.
I really don't want to leave him and I know he loves that woman but he also says he misses me when Im not there and he hae feelings for me....And that he doesn't know what I have that he can't let me go. He also mentioned that he doesn't want to leave the other woman because he doesn't want to hurt her, because she's been through a lot in the past couple of years with her marriage.
I am very confused and scare that he will choose her at the end. But my closest friend thinks that he does loves me and he just feels pitty for the other woman and he doesn't want to break up with her because he doesn't wnat to hurt her. My friend said to give him time to realize that I am so much yonger, prettier, smarter, single and with no kids, but I really don't know what to do.
Could someone tell me how does this sounds from the outside, and give a very smart and better advice?

jenlar134 · Jan 12, 2003, 09:03 PM

well all I can say is if you love him try to stick by him, but don't let him take advantage of you. Talk to him let him know how you feel about the situation. tell him that nomatter when he tells the other women she is still going to be hurt, he should do it soner then latter because in the long run it will be worse.

Good luck

whyme · Jan 16, 2003, 08:14 PM

IF THIS GUY IS SEEING A MARRIED WOMAN HE DOESNT HAVE VERY MUCH REPECT FOR YOU OR THE HUSBAND OF THIS LADY.HIM DATING THE BOLTH OF YOU ONLY SHOWS HE CANT SETTLE DOWN TO ONE GIRL.IF HE LOVED YOU HE WOULD RISK HURTING THIS WOMAN AND END THERE AFFAIR.IT IS NEVER RIGHT TO TRY BEING WITH SOMEONE THAT IS INVLOVED WITH SOMEONE ALREADY.I HOPE THINGS WORK OUT FOR THE BEST FOR YOU.

Dominique · Jan 19, 2003, 04:45 PM

Don't let him use you like that!

Are you happy every day knowing he is fooling around with the other woman?

I should think not.

Dump him , you deserve better than that.

I hear of women being strung along all their lives. You just feed his ego, that's all.

dwalex · Jan 23, 2003, 02:57 PM

He is using both of you and he has no respect for relationships or he would not be in an adulterous one right now, besides what he is aking of you. Reminds me of the Elvis song "HE AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG!!!!" If he will cheat on this lady with you who is cheating on her husband with him, he will cheat on you later as well. He wants his cake and to eat it too, take your delicious fresh cupcakes and offer them to someone who will be true to you.

best wishes,
dwalex

chaz1797 · May 15, 2003, 12:00 AM

You know you might love him and know the meaning of love but does this guy really know the meaning of love.......If he loved you he should be thinking about how you feel and not about how this woman feels and becuase she's been hurt he doesn't want to hurt her.I say don't let him use you, he wants the cake and the frosting and screw others feelings............your young, beautiful and deserve better...............good luck and God bless

Chaz

schuylervj · Sep 3, 2003, 03:16 PM

I'm sorry, but he is handing you a load of codswallop. He is doing exactly what he wants to do and he wants to keep you on an emotional string to "be there" for him...! I don't think so! He "has to be there for her" "she "has been through a lot"; I mean, come on! Doesn't bode well for you, this guy is a scam artist and a loser, trying to have his cake and eat it too...if you want to be unhappy and continue to see him, then you have to accept his philandering, he is not sleeping with the married woman to comfort her...he is doing it out of pure, selfish physical need/desire. He wants to keep you as backup, in case things don't work out. So, the question is, are you prepared to play second fiddle?

1finediva · Sep 25, 2003, 02:59 PM

i think that you should be very careful and stick by him while he's deciding BUT DONT...DONT sleep with him while he's deciding cause if you're good enough o sleep with then you should be ALL that he needs! i mean i hear where he's coming from not wanting to hurt the other lady but what about you? he's gonna hurt someone why not her and not you? right? :-/ think about it

olka · Oct 29, 2003, 04:17 PM

He has no right to date a married woman in the first place! He must choose between you & her, & she must choose between him & her husband. They can't have both!
Tell him that you can't have a relationship with him while he still dates the other woman, & that he has to make a decision now.
If he can't decide it, then he is either wishy-washy or he wants to use you. Either way, he wouldn't be the right guy for you. 8)

sweety · Jun 4, 2004, 07:08 PM

this man seems to have no respect for you, if he really loved you he wouldve dumped the other woman by now. It seems hes jus afta a lil fling thing with u but if he really loved u and missed u he wouldve tried to forget the other woman.
Seems like he's all talk and useless.



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