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_boundl3ss · Jul 20, 2010, 11:51 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2yrs now. He has never done anything to lose my trust or make me insecure but I am. I don't like the idea of him having girl friends at all, I don't even like when he tells me about co-workers who are females. I feel like he shouldn't care about them. Like work its work, that's it. Personally I think I'm being too insecure and jealous but I have no idea how to let it go and I really am trying. I'm afraid that it is really beginning to affect my attitude toward him. I don't want to resent him or lose him because I love him with all my heart. He has been such a wonderful person to me. He's my best friend. Any tips or advice on how to stop being sooo"crazy" and insecure?

Kitkat22 · Jul 20, 2010, 11:58 AM

You are going to drive a wedge between the two of you if you don't stop this.

If he wanted someone else, I'm sure he would leave and be with her. He's with you!

Adapa · Jul 20, 2010, 11:59 AM

Originally Posted by _boundl3ss

My boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2yrs now. He has never done anything to lose my trust or make me insecure but i am. i dont like the idea of him having girl friends at all, i dont even like when he tells me about co-workers who are females. i feel like he shouldn't care about them. like work its work, thats it. personally i think im being too insecure and jelous but i have no idea how to let it go and i really am trying. im afraid that it is really beginning to affect my attitude towards him. i dont want to resent him or lose him because i love him with all my heart. he has been such a wonderful person to me. hes my best friend. any tips or advice on how to stop being soo"crazy" and insecure??

It really depends how he is talking about these females. If he is just being casual as is telling stories about what is happening at work and telling you about his day... then I don't really think there is such a big problem.

But, if he is talking about the same group of girls over and over and over again about stories and things happening and about how much fun he has with these other people at work... then he might be trying to get you jealous or something. I mean, if he's telling you stories about flirting and stuff that is kind of weird.

Personally, I don't really see a need to brag about your day at work and how much fun you had every single day to your partner. Usually, I will just talk to my partner without sexual preferences.

I.E, I am a male nurse, and I am going to be working primarily with female. My future partner is going to have to understand this, that I will be around females all day--every day. I mean, I don't think my future partner would get angry if I told her, "Jen" helped me wipe someone's behind. Or "Jen" was very kind and covered my patients while I got something to eat.

I guess it all depends on the level of professionalism that is involved.

So, some background stories would help a lot more.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 20, 2010, 12:01 PM

Perhaps you can speak with a counselor who can help you get to the bottom of where your insecurities and jealousy come from. It could be a lack of self esteem.
If this relation is important to you, you need to get a hold on this or it will destroy it. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they are walking on eggshells all of the time.

louiesweetie · Jul 20, 2010, 12:21 PM

Hello! I understand how you're feeling. I am pretty similar when it comes to my boyfriend. What helps me is to think of all the reasons he likes me. Not only does it make me feel better about our relationship, it makes me feel more confident. Try telling him how you feel! Chances are he'll try to make you feel better. Remember that he could be with another woman but he isn't. He doesn't want to be. He wants to be with you. Say this to yourself everyday. Eventually you should start to believe it! Good luck! I hope it works out for you.

Kitkat22 · Jul 20, 2010, 12:26 PM

Good luck

talaniman · Jul 22, 2010, 10:08 AM

Tell him how you feel, that your insecure when he speaks so much of other females.

Tell him you are working on it.

Think long, and hard before acting or speaking.

For one he doesn't know your feelings or what to do about them, so honestly communicate them, and don't make your problem, his problem.