I've heard countless of times that being too available can be a problem. I have been recently laid off, and my girlfriend calls me like 5 times a day when shes at work, to say hello, and just talk. Then when she gets off work in the evening at around 7pm, I go over there, chill, we watch tv, and go to sleep (partly because of no money between the both of us) due to michigans economic mess.....

So the other day, she says I dont talk, that we dont have conversations. Now, we've been together 3 years now and it just came up now. Really, what does she expect me to say?!? She calls me ALL DAY LONG, then we see each other at night. What does she expect me to say? Whats new with me today? what did i do today? She knows!! Why? Because she calls all Day LONG

Im starting to think the reason why i dont have anything to say is we are around each other too much, so there isnt nothing to really talk about because of that. Its like there isnt anything to miss


1. So am i right that every time she gets off work, and expects me to come over, maybe I should say, well hey im going to hang out with some friends tonight, stay home tonight, etc? Because if i chose to hang with a friend for the night, then she gets pissed because i wont come over

2. And if we were to live together, how could you avoid being too available when you LIVE together, as that was her previous topic of discussion......us living together



I would really appreciate you guys input on this...thanks you all

enigmagnetic

Talk about nagging. What a nightmare. So I'll reiterate what you said.

I got laid off. I have no job. I'm dating this girl. We talk too much during the day and later in the evening when I'm trying to relax she complains I don't talk enough. If I give us some space so we can "miss" each other she complains.

So basically, she is always complaining. You're down on your luck right now and she is complaining. That's a tough situation. I've been there. My situation ended because of the degradation of that spark. Giving each other space is the best solution, even if she complains give about it. Women constantly due this to men, but most importantly, it is a test of a one's manhood. You see she is challenging you constantly so you'll cave. Don't cave. Women due this partly as a reflex. Go out more with your friends. Maybe once a week you can get away from each other. Secondly, stop picking up the phone 5 times a day. I mean it's not like you really have to talk 5 times a day. You know this to be the solution. If she breaks up with you then she clearly wasn't the one. Ideally the best way to solve this problem is for you to get a job, even if it's something you really don't want to do in the interim. Good luck.

bluediamond

I appreciate that.......quick question, what do u mean when u say cave? and what do u think about the additional post I put about the bills? thnx

enigmagnetic

Caving to her every demand. "no I don't want you to go out with your friends once a week" "yes honey" as opposed to "I'm sorry babe but I have to do this for us and for my own sanity but I do love you" You are standing up to her and being a man at the same time it is essential. Bills situation is her finding an outlet for her to vent her frustration. My ex did it through my driving. She was the worlds worst backseat driver. I even pulled over once and asked if she wanted out. It will only grow until you act like a man and take action.

otherkat

I think you should do things on your own but don't just pop it on her that night, tell her you are going out with the guys a day or so in advance, cause she sounds like she's a freaker. Maybe this will go smoother.

bluediamond

What do you guys think about the bill situation? i mean i know im the man, and i feel bad for her maybe having to get a second job, but thats not my problem, i mean, i have a place of my own....i have my own bills....what does she think I'm supposed to do?
i do feel bad for her, but she moved out cuz we argued too much, and put HERSELF in that situation although im sure she didnt know her bills would catch up to her like that

BiWiccanAndProud

Tell her that!! Say I'm sorry but I can't help you with it, I have bills to pay too. If you didn't want to pay for bills on your own why did you move out?

I know it sounds mean but you need to point the obvious out to this girl!! She didn't want to pay bills, or the possibility to have to get a second job she shouldn't have moved out. She would be in the same situation if you guys weren't dating, she needs to deal with it like that and take care of herself. She's a big girl I'm sure she is capable of it. If she doesn't want to pay bills she should move back in with you. As for arguing... that's not an excuse! Every couple fights -.- it's inevitable. Me and my bf didn't have a real fight until this month (our 6th month anniversery). He kept saying we would never fight cause we are so compatible... but look we fought. It's a realtionship -.- fights happen, suck it up.

enigmagnetic

Yes Yes! Don't cave. Like the lady above has said. Stand up to her. You have to be assertive. If you keep listening and being her punching bag two things will happen;

1. She will get bored with you (which is already happening)
2. She will lose respect for you (which is already happening)

Buck up son buck up!