So my bf and I have been together for a year and a half. Im 19 and i just dont think im ready to be tied down. He says he wants to marry me and have kids with my constantly. Thats just something i am not ready for. But everytime i say i want to break up or take a break i cant. He always says im going to kill myself or move away. Most of the time i think hes just putting on a show but what if he actually does. I couldnt live with my self knowing to he did that because of me. Do i continue to be with him and continue to be in a relationship. Or do i break up with him and hopes he doesnt do anything to hurt himself.

J_9

He is not going to hurt himself. People who commit suicide rarely broadcast it. This is a ploy for attention.

He is manipulating you, and it's working, isn't it. It'll be even worse if you do move in with him, trust me.

Tell him that if he wants a relationship this has to stop or it is over. You are tired of his threats. Suggest that if he wants a relationship with you then he is going to have to get professional counseling as this is not how normal relationships work.

Wondergirl

Tell him that, if he kills himself, you will never speak to him again.

I was in the same boat you are. I had dated a guy for six years. He wanted to get married when I graduated from college, but I wanted to see the world first. He threatened suicide. I was devastated. Did I owe him my life because he was either so fragile or so controlling? I decided no. I broke up with him. He married someone else. I stopped worrying about him.

If you break up with him, or at least push yourself away for a while, be consistent. Don't fall back into his arms and then break away again and then let him pull you to him again. That's not fair to him OR to you. If you leave him, stay away and don't be tempted or made to feel guilty. This is your life, not his. You do what is best for you.

Being apart for a time might be the best thing for both of you. It was for me and the guy I was dating for so long.

Shaunta

Hes Just Saying That So You Stay With Him.... I Dont Beleive He Will Do Anything To Himself....why Dont You Tell Him Like J_9 Said To Get Some Help

Dennis777

Hello.

As everyone is telling you Most of the time when a person says they will kill themselves, they just want the attention. Lets say you give in and say you will be with him forever, whats next. If it works for you leaving then how about him being able to stay out all night with the boys (maybe just boys) remember he knows your not going to leave. How about if he wants to buy something big or something sexual you don't want to do. There is no end to what your giving him.

Lets say you leave and he does kill himself. Yes its a tragic thing but if he is that unstable he would have done it anyway. As above the first time you didn't give in to him he would do it. You can't live your life in fear because he is unstable.

Good Luck
Dennis777

ReNa07

Please live your life the way YOU want to .. You are very young

and so is he

Jiser

Control freak, this is unhealthy. Have an honest conversation with him. If you like him then stick with him but explain your not ready for complete commitment yet, your well 19? I mean unless hes living in a dream world he must be mad...

You can be in a relationship and have fun times and grow together and experiance the world and party all at the same time he needs to understand this...

talaniman

Do not be controlled by this fellow, and decide what you want and go for it. That he would treaten to kill himself if you left, is a red flag he wants to control you, and you don't need that. Enjoy your young life without his drama.

Fr_Chuck

This is very very serious, what you have just described is emotional abuse, it is actually far worst than physcial, in that it is not as easy to see and it allows them to control you by various threats.

If he is this way you need a break from him for sure,