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Have anyone of you started going out with someone
and they seemed nice at first (nothing special) you
know..but simply dating.. He or she is crazy after
you ..wanting to spend more and more time with
you..buying you gifts..showing you what a great
person they are for you..just convincing you to
fall in love...THEN IT HAPPENS...You fall for them
(well off course you do..because they seemed so
perfect who wouldn't want that right?)
Then the
UNTHINKABLE HAPPENS AGAIN....couple months
down or couple years down the road he or she
CHANGES! They become distant..doesn't want to
call you AS much..doesn't even take you out like
they use to..Doesn't do the simplest thing...
or Hug you, say I l o v e you or I
miss you. Then you start wondering why is it
your the one chasing after him or her when they
were the one after you in the first place and now
that you FELL for them THEY are feeling like the
ALMIGHTY and you feel like your confidence is
suddenly GONE.
Then you start asking them to
call you more often or text and what they do they
COMPLAIN YOU ARE BEING CLINGY OR ATTACHED
but you think.."no I'm just asking for what I don't get
Don't I have the right to ask for something that makes
me happy in this relationship?" THEN COMES ARGUMENTS!
THEN THE REL ENDS AND YOUR LEFT WITH THE FEELING
THAT ALL THE CONFIDENCE YOU'VE ONCE HAD IS GONE
AND YOUR WORTHLESS AND HE OR SHE HAS TAKEN IT
ALL?
Ok so...We've all had breakups..BUT has this ever happened
to you or close to? Would love to hear from you all..feel free
to spill as much beans as you want. I'm listening!
I sometimes wish their had been red flags. It's like getting blindsided by a truck when you don't know their unhappy or thinking of leaving. He never indicated he wanted out and he never treated me any differently.
One day everything is wonderful then bam he tells you he is leaving and you never saw it coming. I never became clingy or smoothering because he never became distant or pulled away.
I didn't even know it was over untill 20 minutes before he left.
It was honestly great for 7 yrs then he was gone...JUST LIKE THAT!!!
See, i did that... I courted my ex for 5 months before i asked her to be exclusive, even though, i knew she wasnt seeing anyone else during that courtship. Then when we were b/f and g/f i fell for her hard, gave it everything i had for 2 years. stupid college. oh well, right now i feel like its just a shame that its come to this, very disappointing.
Sad part was....
I was doing Great in college
then when the roller coaster
began I was so stressed I
withdrew from 3 class and
got an F in one ..i couldn't
pull myself back. Heres the
FUNNY PART..my ex got an
A AND B plus in both class..
Selfish people..
I give all I could give..
After the break up I
stayed for 7 months
begging like a fool
thinking There would
be another chance..silly
old me..I just needed
to let go.
Good evening dansk...
I disagree with you. You were not a fool, you reacted in a very natural way. You were hurt, lost and searching hard for answers. It says a lot about your character when you looked within yourself first, for any mistakes made, during the relationship.
Don't you see so many other people blame the other right away or lash out in anger? You didn't do that. That doesn't make you a fool at all, quite the opposite in fact. You gave that relationship, it sounds like, everything you had and more. For the price you paid was suffering, a fall in grades, a complete distraction.
However, you walked away from the relationship when you were spent, tired and completely out of energy. But you walked away with the same integrity you started with.
Please...please don't think for a minute you were a fool. Someday, if they haven't already, somebody will be grateful you walked away, fool and all....
yea your def right on that! I will get over
this eventually ... and there will be someone
waiting for me. I started school this week
so I've got many things to look forward to.
I do feel happy when I think about it..knowing
I tried and did my part and if it wasn't good
enough then they weren't for me.
I have similar experience. He just want to get what he wants to make himself feels good/better, and he'll walk that extra mile... In actual fact, he has nothing...
Oh my....Where do i start!? Well, when i met my ex bf i didn't want a relationship. I wasn't even interested in dating at that time. He, however, kept pursuing. He would come to the club i hung out at just to see if i was there. He always made sure i had a drink, would get my coat at the end of the night for me and then escort me to my car. All my friends told me that he was really into me (maybe a bit too much) and that i should give him a chance. I remember telling one of my guy friends that i didn't want to risk this guy falling for me, to which my friend replied "it's too late, he already has" I knew how much he liked me when he made a special trip to the club to celebrate New Years eve with me (he's a Jehovahs Witness and dosen't celebrate holidays), so I relented and went on a date with him. He took me to a beautiful restaurant, and made me feel special the whole night. I decided to continue dating him.
The first several months i would get texts from him all throughout the day telling me he loved me, he missed me, couldn't wait to spend time with me, i was the best thing that ever happened to him, he wanted to spend his life with me, etc, etc. If at any time he felt that i was angry at him about anything, he would become upset to the point of tears because he wanted nothing more than to make me happy. When we would go out i never had to pay for anything. Never had to open a door for myself. He treated me like i was one of the most precious things in his life. When i fell for him i fell HARD!!
A year into the relationship things changed. The texting almost stopped. He wasn't as affectionate with me. He would get a bit irritated if i felt hurt when he would break any plans we had made (he would break them at the last minute. a few times i was on my front porch waiting for him to pick me up). If i would send him a text it might be a couple of days before he would answer. I felt hurt, confused, insecure, and depressed. I became needy and clingy...trying desperately to hang on to something that he was taking away (which remember, i had not wanted in the first place, HE DID).
When he finally broke up with me i took it so hard. I did all the typical stupid things. I begged, cried, pleaded, basically made an idiot of myself. A month after the breakup he fell in love with his best female friend. My confidence took a nosedive. I felt worthless. I just knew that there was something wrong with me.
I started trying to figure out ways to get him back. One day i stumbled onto this site. I made my first post. I wasn't thrilled when everyone here told me that i should move on, and let him go. I didn't WANT to let him go, i wanted him back!! Little did i know that everyone here was right. This place was my saving grace. Thanks to so many others here who have gone through the same thing, i knew i wasn't alone, and that i had done nothing wrong. It took almost 9 months for me to recover, but i did! I'm not quite ready to be with anyone else yet (i'm afraid to let anyone in right now), but i know that time will come, probably when i least expect it.
Yeah, letting go is the best way. Come to think of it, I didn't even want him in the first place. Literally, he's not supposed to be there, just did... like a stain...
Pithy saying for the day: When life rolls you lemons make lemonade!!!
(A blind friend of mine told me that once and I've never forgotten it. If anyone knows how to make lemonade from life's lemons, its her!)
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