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After months of No contact events keep happening that push me towards breaking it!
I keep on the path of NC but then in recent weeks I keep being drawn to breaking it!
Firstly, I became an Uncle 4 weeks ago. I thought about texting my ex to tell her the news but decided not too. She knew before I commenced NC (which I told her I was doing nearly 8 mths ago) that was on the cards. I decided that if she wanted to find out, she could.
Secondly, it was her birthday nearly a week ago. I thought about messaging, but decided not too. Again, not a reason to break NC!
I have now found out (from a mutual friend who knows her brother) that her sister has just had a baby. She obviously found out about this pregnancy not long after I started NC, so I didn't know about it.
I am now debating whether or not to just send a non committal congratulatory text.
I honestly think I am passed the stage of sending a text like that with any expectation. Although the reality is that if I do text, it will lead to a "how are you" etc etc conversation. We may then meet up, she may try and run the lets stay friends line (which I said no to 8 mths ago 4 mths after she dumped me - it wasn't working!) who knows!
I always thought that I should try and be a nice person, so am debating this congratulatory text.
Any thoughts? Should I message? Does she deserve it? I am very unsure what to do after mths of sticking to NC!!
I am glad I am sticking to it. Just occasionally, like a lot of people, I have the weakness moments. With the recent events they seem to be more frequent and stronger than they have been for a long while! This forum helps so much though. It is the like the dumpees equivalent of an AA meeting!!! If I feel like I need to contact her I come on here to rationally be told I shouldn't!!
i havent read all the responses and maybe you already decided to stick to NC... but im telling you, if you contact her it will open up a big can of worms... you'll be confused/sad for a least a couple days, guaranteed.
after meeting with my ex a few weeks ago, it stirred up all sorts of feelings and i was miserable for a couple days. let it go man, 8 months is a long time... and theres no reason to send her a text out of the blue. i've almost forgotten my ex's number (trying to).
stick with NC, NC is for life, until they contact you... then you can decide what to do with it.
Any scar tissue that has started to cover some of those wounds, may be ripped away,
exposing your hurt all over again.
I wish so much it could be different for you, but you just take today for today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but you want to be okay tomorrow to great whatever does come your way.
On another note, it occurred to me that via facebook, she could probably be looking at my profile. Whether she has or not is not the question, but I feel she shouldn't, so I have blocked her ability to see me. (She wasn't on my friends list anyway). It just stops her snooping on me if she decides too!
it shouldn't matter whether or not she looks at it, why do you care? will she see something that will make her not want to be with you... oh wait, she isn't with you anyway. the reason is irrelevant. i dont even use facebook anymore, theres just no reason too. its a dumb site anyway, i never blocked my ex from anything because i honestly dont care if she sees anything/how she feels about it.
Because every small victory you have, over temptation and impulse, will not only teach you something, but will add to your confidence, and character also. Not only will you learn to love yourself, therefore be able to love others, you will know yourself, and stand for yourself, and your good healthy life. The good part of all this, you wont just fall for anything, that goes against what you feel, is you. These lessons now will serve you better than all the money in the world.
Because every small victory you have, over temptation and impulse, will not only teach you something, but will add to your confidence, and character also. Not only will you learn to love yourself, therefore be able to love others, you will know yourself, and stand for yourself, and your good healthy life. The good part of all this, you wont just fall for anything, that goes against what you feel, is you. These lessons now will serve you better than all the money in the world.
That is so true. It is also weird how theses feelings pass quite quickly, yet also creep up on you! This morning/yesterday this was something very much on my mind. I am thinking now, what was I even debating!! Why would I contact someone who has basically manipulated me and used me for her own ends!!
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